When There’s Just Too Much To Do

Abstract:

I had the idea for a story about two years before I actually wrote it down. It wasn’t writer’s block, it was simply a matter of having too much going on to be able to focus on writing.

There was just too much to do all the time.

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The six-months rule

There are, of course, times in life when things just get busy. It happens to everyone and it’s perfectly normal because life is cyclical by nature. For example, if you just had a new baby, you won’t have time for much else for some time.

However, there are some people who’ll always tell you that the stressful times are about to come to an end, and then two years later, they still have the same excuses. Don’t string yourself along like that! A good rule of thumb is that after six months’ time, things should have quietened down somewhat.

 

Prioritise, how?

To gain clarity, you need to find out what your priorities are. Sit down and ask yourself a few fundamental questions:

– What’s the most important thing in my life?
– What’s urgent and unavoidable right now?
– What’s my passion?

Write down the answers and then eliminate everything else from your life. This can be hard to do, especially when there are other things you enjoy doing, but you have to be ruthless here: Cancel, leave, say no.

too much

Get support

The most obvious and yet overlooked strategy for coping is to ask for help, so don’t be afraid to reach out for a friend or family member. You don’t have to do it all alone! If you can afford it, get paid help as well.

This is your life and you’re here to do what’s important to you. Be sure you make time to actually live.

Create Your Legacy

 

As a multipassionate, I used to have trouble deciding on what to do with my life. I seemed to drift from one thing to the next, never truly settling for anything. I come across this dilemma with many of my clients as well, especially the multipassionates.

Stephen Covey recommends to “Begin with the end in mind” when you create your legacy. He suggests to put into writing what you’d like people to say about you at your funeral, in a eulogy. I remember learning a similar exercise in my Coaching studies.

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Why think about a legacy?

Life’s full of distraction. There are books and media, movies and TV programme, hobbies, friends… And of course, work and family are enough to fill every hour of every day in and of themselves.

The issue with this is that “busy” doesn’t necessarily imply doing anything meaningful. Often enough, we’re just wasting time with, well, busy work, instead of working on leaving the world a better place. What you should be doing is create your legacy.

legacy

Finding your “Thing”

I recommend you take some time to actually write down your thoughts on this. It might seem a little morbid to you to think of your funeral, so if you like, call it the impact you’d like to make on this world in your life.

If you’re still having trouble, find out what people already say about you. Ask five of your closest friends what they think your “thing” is. Ask yourself if you’re happy with their answers, and if you aren’t, it’s time to make changes.

Clarity comes first. It acts like a compass in the midst of life’s distractions, and it’ll take you back, time and time again, to what really matters and the legacy you’d like to leave behind.

When Your Passion’s Unprofitable

In my work, I talk to a lot of people about their passions. When I point out that in my opinion, passions should be front and centre in life, a lot of them answer with a variation of: “That sounds great, but you see, my passion just isn’t profitable.”

Experience shows that a passion-centered life always provides for your needs. If this sounds vague, it’s because the actual path looks different for each individual, as my Coaching clients show. Here are some example to get your imagination going!

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Essentials in life

When people think of essentials, they think about paying bills. Ask yourself if you would still need a big house and car if you were outrageously happy and fulfilled?

This is not to say material riches are bad. What I’m saying is that people get the order of things wrong. If you focus on the material first, you’ll get stuck on that level; when you focus on passion, the material will follow.

If you focus on the material first, you'll get stuck on that level; if you focus on passion, the material will follow. Click To Tweet

An example is a friend of mine who left a well-paying career to follow her passion for travel and became a tour guide for a few years. Now she considers starting her own tour company, which could potentially be very profitable.

passion centered

Manifold paths

It’s not always as straightforward as selling what you create with your passion, or the service you provide. One of my previous clients followed her passion for the history of her country into a career and now leads a cultural heritage centre. Others reduce the “necessities of life” like jobs to a minimum, in order to be able to fully focus on their passion.

Some actually do find their passion profitable. This often requires a lot of work on things like self-esteem so you don’t undercharge people just because you love your work. Earning money doing what you love should be the norm, not an exception.

Keep Pushing Or Do What Feels Right?

Abstract:

I sometimes come across conflicting advice when I research the latest in Coaching, Psychology etc. Some experts tell you to go with your gut and do what feels right, others say you need to stick with your goal and push through no matter what.

So what’s correct?

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Is your goal still right for you?

There’s an easy process to find out whether you’re only going through a rough spot, or whether your goal is no longer right for you. What you do is visualise your goal – not the current trouble, but the overall goal – and then see how it feels inside.

Do you feel expansive or excited at the thought of your goal, or tight, tense, contracted? Your gut reaction tells you all you need to know.

self care

Steps to take

1. Practise Self Care

Find out what you really need, and fulfill that need. Be gentle with yourself, take time to rest, meditate, do whatever you need to get back on an even keel. Listening to yourself and taking things slowly can get you further than powering through.

2. Change your approach

When you work on something with dedication, it can sometimes give you tunnel vision. If you feel resistance, a change in your approach could work wonders. It’s often an outside view that can give you the best idea, so ask your Coach or a good friend or teacher; they often see the obvious step we never thought of.

3. Develop discipline

There definitely is a case for discipline, too. Sometimes you just have to push through in order to see results! However, it doesn’t always have to be an 8-hour day for your goal or passion. Set yourself one hour, or 1 1/2, and really stick with those, no matter if it’s what feels right at the time.

Do You Profit From Being Stuck?

Abstract:

Not too long ago, I went through a period of little progress in my business. I worked hard but had little to show for it. After a while, I noticed that being stuck felt oddly familiar and even comfortable, because it confirmed my old lack of self-confidence, not feeling good enough and it satisfied the nagging voice asking: “Who am I to try and change the world?”

I figured I might as well use this opportunity to heal some old wounds inside myself. It took some digging but I eventually got to the bottom of it.

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What’s really going on

You may experience being stuck in any number of ways: You may suffer from writer’s block, a lack of creative ideas, relationship problems or a dead-end job. That’s the surface issue, but there’s always something underlying as well.

In my case, it was a fear of losing the people I love if I “grow beyond them” and become successful or wealthy. Yours might look completely different, but in most cases being stuck is about not wanting to leave a safe zone where you feel protected from whatever it is your subconscious fears.

being stuck

Benefit outside of being stuck

The process to get un-stuck has two steps:

1. Be very good to yourself. This happens to everyone who achieves anything, so don’t beat yourself up! Be kind and most of all, patient – the process may take time. Practice self care, get enough sleep, good food etc.

2. Try and get the benefit in some way that doesn’t require you being stuck. In my case, I reached out to get reassurance from my loved ones. Whatever it is for you, create the same benefit in some different way. Then your block will dissolve, because it’s no longer needed.