• “But I’m Not Unhappy!”


     

    Abstract:
     

    When I was stuck in limbo and withdrawal mode, I’d defensively claim that life was actually quite good. “I’m not unhappy,” I told myself.
     

    Deep down, though, part of me lay dormant. My clients tell me similar things: that they have a happy relationship, a great family, a good job – and yet it’s like they’re burying part of themselves, the part that makes them joyful.
     

    Joy through the people in our lives is wonderful and important. But it’s also crucial to find joy in ourselves, and the easiest way to access this is passion.
     
     

    Join the Tribe of Wild Spirits for free Coaching magic, exclusive offers and a weekly chance to win a 30 EUR voucher! As a welcome gift, you’ll also get the free Checklist 3 Steps to Stop Procrastinating and Start Doing What Lights You Up TODAY. Simply fill in the form:
     

    Passion detective

     

    If you’re in denial or avoidance mode, it can feel like you’re not really passionate about anything. To uncover your passion(s), ask yourself what you love, or used to love.
     

    You may not come up with anything exciting, but if it’s something you enjoy, that’s a start. Try and pinpoint exactly what it is you like about it.
    If you enjoy walks in the woods, it might be because they calm you. Or maybe you love plants and animals? Your answers can point you towards the thing or things you’re truly passionate about.
     

    Happy
    Photo by Bruce Mars on unsplash.com

    Don’t settle for “not unhappy”

     

    Simply getting by isn’t enough to show for when it comes to your life. This is your creation and what you’ll leave behind.
     

    It’s so tempting to slide into the familiar, the comfortable. After all, everyone else is doing it! Society tells us a family, friends and a job are enough, but in truth, life has many different facets. There’s also personal fulfilment, creativity, passion and purpose.
     

    Don’t give up and don’t give in. Be relentless in your pursuit of what lights you up. This is what’ll create the moments you’ll remember when you’re old – or the regrets you feel for not living your purpose.

  • Mindset: Changing Your Brain’s Software


     

    Abstract:
     

    When you listen to some self-improvement gurus, you’d think a “mindset” is a set of PowerPoint slides that you install in your brain. They ask you to “develop a can-do mindset” or to “create an abundance mindset” by practicing gratitude or saying affirmations.
     

    Don’t get me wrong – gratitude is indeed a powerful tool for enhancing your life. Affirmations can be very helpful when used correctly, but a “mindset” doesn’t change at the drop of a hat.
     

    I’d like to explore what the term really means, and how to go about adopting a mindset of your choosing.
     
     

    Join the Tribe of Wild Spirits! You’ll get free weekly Coaching magic, exclusive offers and much more. As a welcome gift, you’ll also get the free Checklist 3 Steps to Stop Procrastinating and Start Doing What Lights You Up TODAY. Simply fill in the form:
     






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    What exactly is a mindset?

     

    You probably have an idea already when you hear the word “mindset”. According to the dictionary, it’s “the established set of attitudes held by someone.” The crucial point is that a mindset is established – it’s been grown and cultivated over some time.
     

    This means two things:

    1. You don’t fail for being unable to change your mindset immediately following a new insight.
    2. To establish a different mindset, requires a long-term approach.

    This also means that you need to think carefully about the mindset(s) you wish to adopt! It’s better to be certain about something which takes time and effort to establish.
     

    the long view
    Photo by Jenna Anderson on unsplash.com

    Is a new mindset worth it?

     

    Then why go to all the trouble at all? The answer is, because it’s worth it when it comes to unhelpful ideas such as “only bad people have money” or “The real world doesn’t leave much room for passion.”
     

    To change your mindset, you need to relentlessly brainwash yourself:

    • Read literature which reinforces your desired new mindset.
    • Surround yourself with people who share this mindset.
    • Get support from a Coach to hold you accountable.
    • Try techniques like journalling or affirmations.
    • Most of all, stick with it for at least 90 days to see any lasting changes.
  • What’s Your Desire? Ask Your Body


     

    Abstract:
     

    When a trainer in a workshop asked: “What do you want?” it sounded familiar. As a Coach I use this question for goalsetting and creating action plans.
     

    But the trainer then went on to explain that she wasn’t interested in what we “think” we want (such as a home and security), but our deepest desires.
     

    We went on to explore the difference between wants and desires at some length, and it turns out to be a very relevant differentiation for pursuing one’s passion as well.
     
     

    Join the Tribe of Wild Spirits! You’ll get free weekly Coaching magic, exclusive offers and much more. As a welcome gift, you’ll also get the free Checklist 3 Steps to Stop Procrastinating and Start Doing What Lights You Up TODAY. Simply fill in the form:
     






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    Want or desire?

     

    Wants are on the mental and emotional level, and they can change. You may want a certain type of house and then realise your family needs a different house, so you change your mind and your “want”.
     

    Desire happens on the physical level, just like sexual desire does. Our body gives us all kinds of feedback, but we’re not brought up to listen to or even recognise these signals.
     

    Desire
    Photo by Sharon McCutcheon

    Learn your desire

     

    It’s possible to learn to tune into your desire, but you’ll need some patience. Here are 4 steps for you:
     

    1. Check in with your body
    Three times a day, check in with your body. Look for physical clues and signs for your body’s “mood”, such as tension or heaviness.
     

    2. Learn your body’s language
    Next, use physical feedback to make decisions. Think of your options and observe your body’s reaction. You’ll notice your body is always spot-on!
     

    3. Ask and listen
    Now ask your body what it needs and listen to the answer (a nap? A hug?). Do the same with your mind, soul and spirit.
     

    3. Discover your desires
    Once you’ve mastered these steps, you’ll be able to tune into your body to dicover your deepest desires. These are the things to pay attention to, the ones that are worth any effort.

  • It’s Not Perfect, But It’s Perfect For Now


     

    Abstract:
     

    When I had to move out of my rental house, I was torn between wanting to live in my favourite county and moving closer to where most of my friends live. A friend wisely pointed out that whatever my decision, it wouldn’t be set in stone.
     

    “It could be perfect for now,” she said. She was right, and in the years since, I’ve found myself applying this wisdom to other areas, too.
     
     

    Join the Tribe of Wild Spirits! You’ll get free weekly Coaching magic, exclusive offers and much more. As a welcome gift, you’ll also get the free Checklist 3 Steps to Stop Procrastinating and Start Doing What Lights You Up TODAY. Simply fill in the form:
     






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    Deferred dreams

     

    People love stories like mine: How I left a soulless job, started working from home and prioritising my passions. What they don’t want to hear about is the years when I still needed that soulless job to pay back dues.
     

    Your dreams don’t have a sell-by date. There might be legitimate reasons for deferring them – just don’t make the mistake to postpone joy, too. Life might be perfect for now.
     

    Perfect for now
    Photo by Kelsey Chance

    Find your “perfect for now”

     

    Don’t stay unhappy and isolated until you can make the big break. No matter what your situation, there’s always something you can do. Here are a few suggestions to inspire you:
     

    • Pursue your passion in whatever way you can. Reach out to others or join an internet platform if you can’t manage to actually do what you love just yet.
    • Get Coaching, even and especially if you think you don’t have the time, headspace or money at the moment (that’s when it’s most crucial!).
    • Appreciate what’s “perfect for now” about your current situation. Not much time for your passion may mean more time for your kids while they’re young.
    • Set detailed goals for achieving your dream and prioritising your passion. Include steps you can do in your current situation. Keep reviewing and updating your goals.

     

    You can always work towards building your life around your passions and purpose. Finding joy today will empower you to stick it out.

  • You’re Not Broken (Even If You’re Not Always Positive)


     

    Abstract:
     

    I often talk about focusing on the positive, on what’s already working, as a successful strategy to achieve whatever your goal may be. There’s a danger of taking this too far, though.
     

    Some self-styled gurus maintain that all negativity is detrimental and should be avoided at all costs. People put enormous pressure on themselves trying to be always positive and suppress any other thoughts or feelings. That’s neither realistic nor healthy.
     

    Since my own work is about centering one’s life around passion and joy, I believe it’s my responsibility to clarify.
     
     

    Join the Tribe of Wild Spirits! You’ll get free weekly Coaching magic, exclusive offers and much more. As a welcome gift, you’ll also get the free Checklist 3 Steps to Stop Procrastinating and Start Doing What Lights You Up TODAY. Simply fill in the form:
     






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    The concept of dynamic balance

     

    Dynamic balance is a term I borrowed from science. It means that balance isn’t necessarily a never-changing state, but may be a balance between variances to either side. Instead of always positive, you’re sometimes up and sometimes down.
     

    If you’re sad or grieving, it isn’t constructive to feel like a failure for experiencing what every human experiences at times. Acknowledge what’s going on, sit with it, talk about it – do whatever nourishes you (up to and including therapy).
     

    Always positive
    Photo by Chris Barbalis on unsplash.com

     

    Then why focus on the positive?

     

    We’re programmed by nature to pay more attention to the negative (this is a survival mechanism). It takes effort to counteract this and get into the habit of finding the silver lining. Here are three steps you can take:
     

    • Remember, you’re not your thoughts or your feelings. They may feel like your only reality, but they’re not all you are.
    • Limit your exposure to media, including social media.
    • Develop routines to make a positive focus easier: Gratitude, mindfulness meditations, theta waves.

     

    It’s work – like pedalling a bicycle uphill – but it does get easier as you develop the habit. Passions can help you return to joy over and over again, every time life throws you a curveball.

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