• How To Avoid Going Broke This Christmas


     

    Abstract:
     

    The festive season lies ahead. It’s a time of love and giving, but in our day and age, it can sometimes turn into a consumerist nightmare instead. We feel under pressure to buy expensive presents and often end up stressed, exhausted – and broke.
     

    People have suggested to me that I could come to a “no gifts” agreement with my loved ones. However, I’d miss the energy exchange of giving and receiving, and so I’ve put together three alternative ways of gifting.
     
     

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    1. Set a limit

     

    You could either agree on a spending limit, such as 20 bucks per present, or you could agree on a particular kind of present. For example, set a “no buying” rule so you’ll all have to create something instead.
     

    This could be anything from a story you write, to a painting, or baked goods. Your gift will be infused with your creative energy.
     

    2. Give experiences

     

    A candlelit, home-cooked dinner for your best friend could turn into a memorable evening of talking and laughing together for hours. An older relative might appreciate a day-tour by car. You could be tourists together in your neighbouring town.
     

    Time is one of the most valuable things you can give these days. Everyone is always rushed off their feet, so quality time is a beautiful gift.
     

    Avoid going broke this Christmas
    Photo by Giulia Bertelli on unsplash.com

    3. Give to others

     

    Your loved ones and you could agree to give your time to a worthy cause together. There are many options, for example homeless shelters, who always need helping hands, especially so at Christmas. Animal shelters are at their busiest after the holidays and are grateful for any helping hand.
     

    Lastly, don’t forget yourself. Give yourself the gift of no stress. Make sure you’ll be able to enjoy the love and the giving – which is what the season is all about.

  • 3 Signs You Should Fire Your Coach


     

    Abstract:
     

    I’m probably the biggest advocate of coaching you could find. Coaching has transformed my life; it’s been a shortcut to levels of happiness and achievement I hadn’t previously imagined. Since 2006, I’ve seen similar transformations in my own clients.
     

    But I also regularly hear horror stories about so-called coaches who give every serious coach a bad name. Since this is my own trade, I thought I’d tell you about a few common red flags to watch out for. Here’s how you know when you should definitely fire your Coach.
     
     

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    1. “I’ve helped thousands of people!”

     

    Unless this person has been practicing for the past 150 years, he’s probably not talking about Coaching. Coaching is one-on-one or in small groups (up to 8 at most). They’re most likely selling a group program, not Coaching.
     

    Note: Group programs can be amazing! Just know what it is you’re buying.
     
     

    2. “If you truly want change, you’ll find the money!”

     

    Like many sleazy sales techniques, there’s a kernel of truth in this one. If you stretch yourself financially, you’re literally more “invested” in the program and more likely to do the work and get great results.
     

    However, you shouldn’t have to hand over your life savings. A good rule of thumb is an investment of 3-5% of your annual gross income – no more.
     

    See the light
    Photo by Johannes Plenio on unsplash.com

     

    3. “I’ll show you exactly how to be successful.”

     

    Teaching isn’t coaching. It’s a great tool, for sure – but if it’s Coaching you want, you’re looking for someone with the toolset to empower you and cause you to grow in leaps and bounds, not learn what they know.
     

    Coaching has a clearly defined set of techniques and practices that need to be studied. Fire your Coach if she or he has a phoney “qualification” and instead look for someone with real training that’s been recognised by an international body.
     

    A coach may suggest a course of action, but they’ll never straight out tell you what to do.

  • Why It’s Time To Take Yourself Seriously


     

    Abstract:
     

    I had a client who dreamed of making a living as a musician, but she had a follow-through challenge. She’d set herself tasks for the week, promotional work, songwriting, practice, but somehow found herself “Netflix-and-chill”-ing most of the time.
     

    It wasn’t that she lacked passion, or willpower for that matter. She had financed studying at the conservatory by playing in piano bars in the evenings, with no support from her parents or anyone else, and finished with top marks.
     

    She hadn’t suddenly become lazy. No, there was something deeper at work.
     
     

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    Self-sabotage, anyone?

     

    My client initially claimed she was just practicing self care by resting and relaxing. When I questioned this, it slowly turned out that she was making time for her part-time job, too, and for her family and friends, for lots of things in fact – just not her passion.
     

    Most of us are familiar with self-sabotage. The reason behind this behaviour is not that we’re weak, it’s a matter of confidence and self-worth.
     

    Lit up
    Photo by Chinh Le Duc on unsplash.com

     

    How to take yourself seriously

     

    I told my client it was time she took herself as seriously as she was taking her job and the people around her. “What makes you think your work doesn’t matter?” I asked.
     

    We’re all here for the purpose of spreading our gift. What you’re really doing when you choose to flake out of prioritising your passion, is to tell yourself and the world that you don’t matter. That it isn’t all that serious.
     

    In fact, nothing’s more urgent than you fulfilling your purpose! Take charge by:
     

    • looking after yourself and your needs. Yes, self care and even Netflix have their place. Schedule them.
    • scheduling your passion, too, and first. If it’s a priority, this should be reflected in the time allotted to it.

     

    Rinse and repeat, and you’ll soon be flying.

  • Success Or Failure Depends On This One Critical Distinction


     

    Abstract:
     

    Have you ever pursued a goal – a course of study, or a course or training, maybe even a career or a relationship – with enormous dedication and discipline, only to run out of steam halfway through? Or perhaps you realised that it wasn’t what you truly wanted? It can be disheartening, to say the least.
     

    Now obviously, you learn and grow from anything you strive for. Your time and effort are never truly wasted. Still, you’d prefer using your energy to pursue a goal that’s truly “you”, wouldn’t you?
     

    Here’s a surefire way to find out.
     
     

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    Sucess or failure?

     

    When I feel stuck, or things aren’t going right, I respond with a surge in energy. I come up with a ton of creative new goals, new dreams, you name it. The problem is, that goals created in these circumstances rarely reflect what I really want.
     

    Many years ago, my coach taught me a wise question to ask when setting goals: “Am I moving towards, or away from something?” If you’re setting a goal just to escape from something, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
     

    Success or failure
    Photo by rawpixel on unsplash.com

     

    Push or pull?

     

    Obviously, wanting to get out of a bad situation isn’t a bad thing. However, it’s a good idea to postpone setting major life goals until the time when you’ve sorted out your issues.
     

    First, set short-term goals designed to alleviate your situation. Hate your job? Create an exit strategy to a more bearable one. Relationship going nowhere? Get couple counselling or get out.
     

    Once you’re no longer suffering, no longer feel the need to move away from something, you can ask yourself what you’d like to move towards. Now’s the time for goal setting and dreaming big. Base it on your desires, your passion, and your skills – on what you want, rather than what you’d like to avoid.

  • 3 Ways To Gain Control Over Your Life


     

    Abstract:
     

    Have you ever felt out of control? A lot of women feel that way when they just had a baby. Or maybe there’s something you’ve wanted to do for ages, but never got started on.
     

    I’d like to show you three ways to take back the reins and gain control over your life.
     
     

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    1. Sort the wheat from the chaff

     

    Take a good look at your life and simplify as much as you can. If you feel out of control, chances are you have too much going on anyway, so chuck everything that’s not absolutely vital.
     

    Club memberships, social obligations, “friends” that have long turned into a drain on your energy – it’s time to break it off. You’re not responsible for other people’s happiness; your priority is you, and then your loved ones, in that order.
     
     

    2. The magic of action

     

    Marie Forleo always says that clarity doesn’t come from thought, it comes from action. Action is the big secret if you want to gain control.
     

    It’s not true that you don’t have an alternative. Don’t resign yourself to it if you, for example, don’t find a new job immediately. Keep looking, network, look for courses you could take to acquire new skills, never stop applying for different roles.

    Control your life
    Photo by rawpixel on unsplash.com

    3. Control your life

     

    If there really is no way to take action where you need it right now, then take action in another area of life. Look at your health and your relationships, for example.
     

    The key is doing, rather than just being inactive. Just one caution: Aimless “busy work” just for the sake of it, doesn’t cut it. Action needs to be meaningful and lead to a specific end.
     

    Remember, it’s your life, you pull the strings. It’s not true that you “can’t” change things, you’re choosing not to – for a good reason, perhaps, but it’s still you who chooses.

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