• Your Future Self Calls And Says…


     

    Abstract:
     

    “Hi!”
     

    Ok, seriously. There have definitely been times in my own life when I felt like I wasn’t moving forward. I tried to go self-employed and went back to employement only months later because it just wasn’t feasible. One year, I applied for a mortgage and was turned down.
     

    I have a mortgage now. I’m also moving towards transitioning out of my daytime job, and this time I’ll actually be able to live on what I’m making. If I could reach back in time and talk to myself five or ten years ago, I’d tell her to hold out, to pursue passions, to focus on joy, and to trust the process.
     

    What would your future self say to you if they could see you right now?
     
     

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    Task 1: Where are you now?

     

    Determine where you stand in each area of life (the Life Audit is a great way of doing that!): personal, financial, health-wise, regarding your passions… Be honest.
     

    Don’t use this exercise to pass judgment on yourself. Instead, assume the viewpoint of an outside observer, evaluating your life as objectively as possible.
     
     

    Task 2: Where do you want to be?

     

    We’re talking pipe dreams here. In an absolutely ideal dream-life, where would you be in each of the categories?
     

    Be very specific. “Rich” or “a millionaire” doesn’t cut it. “Living off interest to the tune of 5,000 a month” is more like it.
     

    Your Future Self Calls
    Photo by Johannes Plenio on unsplash.com

     

    Task 3: Ask your future self

     

    Now imagine you got visited by your own self from ten years in the future. She knows your results from Tasks 1 and 2, because she is you. What would she tell you (if you have trouble imagining this, then first try and imagine what you’d tell your past self)?
     

    It can help looking into a mirror for this, and actually talking to your mirror image. Make a note of your wisdom, and think of ways to use this knowledge today.

  • Why You Aren’t Prioritising Your Passion


     

    Abstract:
     

    “It’s not that I never have time to paint,” my client told me. “I just always find something more urgent to do, like housework. It’s like I’m waiting for permission.”
     

    The word permission acted like a signal for me. It was the root of the problem, and it’s a rather common one: We unconsciously wait for outside permission to do what lights us up.
     

    Your mission today: Learn to love and trust yourself enough to prioritise your passion(s).
     
     

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    Task 1: Debunking the “permission slip” for your passion

     

    Not sure if you’ve been waiting for permission? Check if any of the following apply to you.
     

    • You think you’re not good enough to make your passion a priority.
    • You think there are more important things.
    • You’re waiting for your spouse’s/a teacher’s / your parents’ approval

     

    Task 2: Learn why it’s important to give yourself permission

     

    There really is no outside force to judge whether you’re “worthy” of your passion. How do you know you’re worthy? When it lights you up. If it does that, if you feel happy or fulfilled when you pursue your passion, it’s worth pursuing and you’re worth doing it.
     

    It’s important to realise this. The decision and the permission need to come from yourself. Because if it did come from the outside, do you know what would happen? You’d resist it.
     

    your passion
    Photo by Hian Oliveira on unsplash.com

     

    Task 3: Learn to love and trust yourself enough

     

    Increase your self-esteem by doing any or all of the following:
     

    • Say daily affirmations like “I’m enough. I’m doing so well.”
    • Set yourself small tasks or commitments and see them through.
    • Practise self care.
    • Do random acts of kindness.

     

    What lights you up, needs to be No. 1 in your life. Only then can you be your best self for others, too.

  • What To Do If Time Gets Away From You


     

    Abstract:
     

    My clients often tell me that they should have more time left outside of work, sleeping, housework etc, to pursue their passion. But in reality, it never seems to work out that way.
     

    This is very common! Your mission today is to understand how time gets away from you, and to learn how to actually use this to further the pursuit of your passion or passions.
     
     

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    Task 1: Understand that you’re not lazy

     

    Practically all of my clients think they’re lazy. I used to think this of myself as well. It’s a fairly universal misconception, because it’s quite simply untrue!
     

    We come to this conclusion because of two things:
     

    1. We might be “wasting” time watching Netflix or just vegging out on the couch, or scrolling through social media endlessly.
    2.  

    3. Especially creatives tend to spend time “daydreaming”, scribbling or doodling, dropping one project to start (yet) another, and having long periods of time that are seemingly unproductive.

    time gets away
    Photo by Jordan Bauer on unsplash.com

     

    Task 2: Use your patterns

     

    This is about looking at what you do in those periods that make you call yourself “lazy”, and use this to your advantage. Here are examples according to my points in the first task.
     

    1. If you’re spending too much time on social media or binge-watching TV series, it’s a sign of mental overload. In our day and age, we may no longer do back-breaking physical work, but we’re mentally overstimulated and fatigued.
    2.  

      If this is what you do, find another way to get downtime. Don’t judge or compare yourself, just give yourself the gift of self care. Do nothing at all, or do a yoga class, meditation, a walk in nature – whatever you need to get back into balance.
       

    3. If you spend time idling and wool-gathering as a creative, recognise this as part of the creative process. It’s not linear, it needs “gestational periods” of seemingly low productivity. Allow yourself these time periods, schedule them in, and use them to further your creative inspiration.
  • How To Make Friends At Any Age


     

    Abstract:
     

    I was a hermit for some years. I’d kicked all my friends out of my life. My friends are awesome and all kept a light on for me until I was ready to re-emerge, but in the meantime I’d also moved away and so I needed to make new friends as well.
     

    It’s been quite a journey and I’ve learned a lot. At nearly 50, I can say I know it’s possible to make friends at any age.
     
     

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    Task 1: Passion equals friends

     

    Do what lights you up, but don’t do it on your own. Find people who share that passion. Organise a group (book club, crafting circle, hiking club etc) or join one that’s already there.
     

    Nothing beats the feeling of: “Wow, I can gush about my passion for hours and nobody glazes over!” when you’ve met your tribe, those who share your passion.
     
     

    Task 2: Go where people are

     

    Join courses, weekend workshops, retreats – whatever takes your fancy. You may not have the money to go out and do something every weekend of the year, but look what’s available and plan in advance.
     

    This is where a budget comes in! Save up for this one weekend course of yoga, or meditation, or an evening class or whatever. Suggest to go for a coffee or drinks afterwards. See what happens.
     

    make friends
    Photo by Val Vesa on unsplash.com

     

    Task 3: Be interested, not interesting

     

    This will come as a relief, especially for introverts: There’s this idea that you need to dazzle everyone with your fascinating personality in order to win friends. The opposite is the case.
     

    Everyone loves talking about themselves. Ask thoughtful questions and listen, really listen to their answers. Remember what they said, mention it the next time you meet. This shows you care enough to remember.
     

    Making friends is not a question of age, it’s a question of being open to it. Try it and you might surprise yourself.

  • Understand The Woo-Woo: What’s Your Purpose Really?


     

    Abstract:
     

    It’s always the next project: get the kid through primary school, or into the school of their choice, or on the team they want to be at, get the job I want, the relationship of my dreams…
     

    Goals are great. I always recommend having goals in every part of your life. But when you hustle and hustle towards short-term goals all the time, there comes a point when you stop and ask yourself: What’s it all for? What’s the bigger picture?
     

    This is where purpose comes in.
     
     

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    Task 1: Spot the purpose

     

    When we hear purpose, we think of people with a mission. People who drop everything to build schools in a poor country. People who change the world.
     

    They definitely all have a purpose, but it’s not the only way to have one. Everyone has a purpose, but many don’t know they do because they think if it doesn’t at least solve world hunger, it can’t be a purpose.
     

    your purpose
    Photo by Jonathan Francisca on unsplash.com

     

    Task 2: Find your purpose

     

    There are three steps to this process, or three levels of insight:
     

    1. Check philosophy and religions: at the root, they’re about love. Living in love, spreading love in the world and the behaviour that follows (such as helping each other, ethics etc).
    2. Passion and purpose are connected – this is my work – but that doesn’t mean your passion is necessarily your purpose. Passion leads to purpose, in that it lights you up. When you’re on fire with joy, you’re in a high vibration energetically, and this matches the vibration of purpose and will make you attract it.
    3. Remember you already know your purpose (love). Your task is to spend as much time in a high vibration as possible, by pursuing your passion and feeling joy and love, and your purpose will become clear – it might even change over time, but it’ll be there.
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