3 Things You Need To Let Go Of (For A Life Of Passion & Purpose)


 

Abstract:
 

When I talk about creating a life of passion and purpose, people are quick to list what they would need. It’s natural: We think in terms of what we’re missing.
 

What if you shifted your thoughts towards what you need to lose? It’s a whole new perspective: instead of acquiring something, lose what stands in the way of the joy, passion and purpose you already have inside.
 

Your misson today is to learn 3 things you need to let go of for a life of passion and purpose.
 
 

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Things you need to let go of #1: The need to be busy

 

This is the scourge of our time. Nothing makes people more nervous than not doing anything.
 

When you do nothing, you meet yourself. Let go of the need to “do” something! You could learn meditation, stop using digital devices after 9 pm, or sit still for 10 minutes every day.
 
 

Things you need to let go of #2: Passions as an afterthought

 

I’m all about pursuing passions, but not just making time for what lights you up. It’s about a shift in your thinking, towards making your passion(s) a priority. That means it’s more important than other things.
 

Sounds simple? Try and put it into practice. If you pay attention, you’ll notice that you constantly put other things first. You need to radically say “no” to some things to say “yes” to your passion.
 

let go
 

Things you need to let go of #3: Not taking breaks

 

This is related to the first point: If you constantly need to be busy, chances are you’re also working too much. But you can even burn out from your passion if you overdo it. The key is balance.
 

Consciously remove yourself from your work, family, and passion at regular intervals. Rest, nap, put up your feet. Be “lazy”. It’s not wasted time or being unproductive, it’s making sure that you can continue to show up at your best.
 

Vlog 4: Getting Ready For My New Life


 
 

Getting ready for my new life

 

Vlog #4 is here, with updates about the new house and my preparations for moving – as well as the delays and what I’m learning from them. As usual, there’s lots of footage of beautiful Croatia, including even some aerial shots of the new house.
 

Spring is in full bloom here, so expect lush green, gorgeous lilacs, and bright blue sees! I love to show off beautiful Croatia while I’m telling the story of my new life taking shape.
 

If you’d prefer to watch on YouTube – and subscribe to my channel – click here.
 

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my new life


 

You’re Not A Realist: Negativity Bias Explained


 

Abstract:
 

A lot of people I talk to about positive or negative thinking, assure me that they do equal amounts of both and call themselves “realists”. There’s a biological reason why this is not true.
 

Your mission today is to understand why you’re not a realist and how to avoid the trap of unhealthy positivity.
 
 

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Task 1: Why you’re not a realist

 

If you just let your thoughts happen and you’re a fairly healthy person mentally and emotionally, you should end up with equal numbers of positive and negative thoughts – right?
 

Wrong.
 

The reason for this is evolutionary. Imagine when we were hunter/gatherers. There’s a beautiful sunset to the left. To the right, there’s an angry bear approaching. Which one did our ancestors need to pay attention to?
 

Our survival as a species used to depend on our negativity bias. It’s ingrained in us so that now we need to consciously focus on the positive to be “realistic”.
 
 

Task 2: Why positive thinking can be unhealthy

 

Unfortunately, the insight from task 1 has led to an unhealthy, even dangerous trend in personal development. Some gurus claim you should strive to always be positive. People feel like failures for completely normal feelings of anger, sadness, grief or frustration.
 

This has been proven to be very detrimental to your mental health. Apart from that: Why wouldn’t you experience the full range of human emotions? Don’t take the positivity focus too far.
 

not a realist
 

Task 3: What positive thinking truly means

 

If we put the insights from Tasks 1 and 2 together, it’s clear that we need a healthy way to counter the evolutionary negativity bias. Here’s how to do this.

  • Make space in your life for your emotions. Consciously welcome everything you feel.
  • Instead of judging your emotions, look at them in terms of where you need to heal, what you need to pay attention to.
  • Then, once you’ve established that habit, introduce ways of paying special attention to positive emotions, such as daily gratitude, affirmations, prioritising your passions, etc.

 

3 Pillars Of A Happy, Stress-Free Life

a happy life
 

Happiness is probably one of the most subjective concepts we humans have. It’s a subject which fascinates researchers, and yet studies come up empty-handed again and again. At best, we get a bunch of wildly differing descriptions – happiness is said to be joy or fulfillment, even achievement, but also contentedness and being carefree.
 

I’ve never been one to simply leave it at: “It’s different for everyone.” There are certain traits that the many concepts of happiness have in common, and I’d like to introduce you to them. And because I happen to be in the business of creating greater happiness with people, I’ll also share what I’ve learned and what I call the “3 pillars” of a happy life devoid of stress.
 
 

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What is happiness?

 

Publications on the subject of happiness seem to fall into two categories. The first could be called “happiness is doing”. These are people who point out that the happiest people tend to be those who actively create their lives. This certainly makes sense if you consider how restless and uneasy you feel after you’ve spent several hours at the computer on on your smartphone. You can’t think yourself happy; you need actual, physical action of some kind as well.
 

The other category consists of those who points out that happiness is a state of being, rather than doing. That’s true as well. All the activity in the world can’t make you happy, unless you have a core of happiness inside yourself. In the modern world, it’s widely accepted to fill every minute with activity, to the point where we’re constantly exhausted. That’s definitely not the path to happiness!
 

Then there’s me, of course, who keeps harping on about passions and purpose. I will definitely say that passions create happiness, and one of the “healthiest” kinds of happiness at that. A sense of purpose and being aware of your life purpose, increases this feeling. But it doesn’t end there.
 

three pillars
 

The 3 pillars of a happy life

 

In my personal experience as well as over a decade of coaching clients, I have come to realise a few things. One is that prioritising our passions does indeed make us happy. Another, that simply adding passions into our already busy schedules only works temporarily.
 

Why? Because it requires rigid time management and iron discipline, which is stress inducing and therefore a) not conducive to happiness and b) not sustainable.
 

The solution that I’ve created and refined over the years, is threefold. I call it the “3 pillars” of a happy, stress-free life. They are:
 

Pillar #1: Passion(s)

This is the obvious one. Creating time and headspace to truly place a priority on what lights you up, is going to increase your happiness by leaps and bounds. Your energy levels will soar. Another thing that makes passions amazing is the fact that they belong to you alone and don’t depend on another person or any other circumstances outside of your influence.
 

Pillar #2: Self Care

You need regular time to look after yourself, be it with a massage, a walk in nature, yoga, a bubble bath… Self Care isn’t necessarily expensive, it only requires you to do something for your wellbeing. You could say that the Self-Care pillar includes any active contribution you make towards your wellness.
 

Pillar #3: Downtime

This is the one we tend to overlook and/or neglect. Even passions can burn you out if you don’t rest. Downtime is time you spend with your feet up reading a book, napping, or watching a movie. In fact, there are no limits to what defines downtime, except that it shouldn’t be anything “productive”. Downtime is what most of us think of as laziness, when in fact it’s an important part of the productivity cycle.
 

All this sounds a lot easier than it is. Most of my clients swear that they can’t possibly find any more time when they first come to me. It is always possible, though – and I’d suggest, it’s necessary, even life-saving – to slow down and simplify life.
 

It’s a journey which involves every part of your life, from your family and relationships to your finances. You’ll make some hard choices, but you’ll also feel yourself breathing more freely as the adrenalin wears off and you begin to relax. Believe me when I say, this work is well worth the effort.
 

Doing this allows for a balance between the 3 pillars and the rest of your life, and most importantly, it allows space for the joy to come in. That’s when you’ll begin to feel truly happy.
 

Don’t Put Off Your Passions (Or Wait For The End Of The Pandemic)


 

From a live session: Don’t put off your passions

 

A few key points I talked about:

  • A year ago, in the 1st lockdown, I talked about how to de-frazzle your brain and concentrate again.
  • Now we’re at the tail end of the pandemic, we face different challenges.
  • It’s been a hard year for passions: distractions, challenges, no time or headspace.
  • Some passions are difficult or impossible to pursue due to restrictions/measures.
  • Now that the end is in sight, it’s tempting to put it off until then.
  • Don’t put off your passions!
  • Pursuing your passion(s) is more important than ever. Why? Because life happens now.
  • Ruthlessly make space for this, prioritise your passion.
  • If it’s impossible, get creative (instead of travelling abroad, travel around your own area/country, etc.)

 
 

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put off your passions


 

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