• What To Do If You Don’t Know Your Passion


     

    Abstract:
     

    People often tell me they don’t think they even have a passion. This happened so often, I started offering an affordable once-off session to help people find their passion, and I know for a fact that everyone has at least one.
     

    It’s not your fault if you haven’t identified – yet – what lights you up. Your mission today is to learn what to do if you don’t know your passion.
     
     

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    Task 1: Learn what a passion is

     

    One reason why you might not know your passion is that you’re looking for the wrong thing. Maybe you assume that a passion needs to be something you’re innately talented at, that you’re very good at, and that you’ll turn into your source of income.
     

    But that’s not what passion is about. You’re forgiven for thinking so – the internet is full of people promising to teach you how to turn your passion into a business, and there’s nothing wrong if you want to do this. However, the definition of a passion is simply something that lights you up. Follow the joy – nothing else.
     

    don't know your passion
     

    Task 2: If you don’t know your passion

     

    Another reason why you might not know your passion is that you’re looking in the wrong places. Many people assume that a passion needs to be a creative pursuit, but that’s not true. Rather, a passion is any activity that gives you profound joy. It could be a field of study or a sport, an activity or indeed an art.
     

    Others assume that you need to have one, true passion, but that’s not true for everyone. Lots of people are multi-passionates, or “scanners”. They have multiple, changing passions throughout their lives. These are still completely valid passions though.
     

    If you need more help with identifying yours, consider booking a Find Your Passion session with me. It’s worth knowing what you should prioritise in your life, knowing what is guaranteed to bring you joy independent of your job, relationship and other “outside” factors.
     

  • Vlog 13: Two Weeks In Vienna And Lower Austria


     

    Two weeks in Vienna

     

    I love my home, but it was time to go and see something else! My magic city was just what the doctor ordered. I adore Vienna (I used to live there for some years) and it was great to visit all my favourite haunts in the city.
     

    What was almost more important: I got to see friends again, some of whom I hadn’t seen in years. The video shows glimpses of all of this – most of all I wanted to show you the beauty of the city and the stunning Hohe Wand in Lower Austria, where I went with a friend on the way home.
     

    If you’d prefer to watch it on YouTube, click here.
     
     

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    two weeks in vienna


     

  • The Secret To Beating Procrastination


     

    Abstract:
     

    You’ll often hear me saying that I haven’t met a lazy person in my life. Most people who say they’re lazy, are simply trying to do too much, or they think they should do more.
     

    There are many people online who tell you how to change your mindset or get motivated. Whilst these are worthwhile things to do, they’re not necessary for you stop procrastinating.
     

    Your mission today is to learn the one secret to beating procrastination.
     
     

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    Task 1: Check if you perhaps have a point

     

    I need to say this first, because the last thing I want is to contribute to the modern madness of trying to do everything, all at once, and perfectly. I don’t want anyone to use this video to try and cram even more into their already-full schedule!
     

    Therefore, your first task is to check whether your procrastination might be trying to tell you something. Could it be that you’re trying to do it all? Work a lot, keep your house clean, look after kids, pursue a passion – it’s no wonder you find yourself dragging your feet.
     

    The remedy is downsizing. Work less, or get help in the household. Find people to share your passion with. Do less, not more. Your need to procrastinate will disappear.
     

    beating procrastination
     

    Task 2: The secret to beating procrastination

     

    When it comes to procrastination, people will preach about motivation and mindset change. Actually, the best thing to do is much simpler.
     

    Maybe you know someone who cleans their entire house when they want to avoid having a difficult conversation. They don’t necessarily love cleaning, they just hate confrontation even more. And here’s your secret.
     

    When I was working through a boring but effective piano course, I had to kick myself into practising. Until I decided that as long as I wasn’t practising, I may as well study grammar. Suddenly I practised!
     

    Therefore: If you don’t want to do something, find something you want to do even less. It sounds simple, but it really works.
     

  • The Dance To “Have It All”

    have it all
     

    “You can have it all, but you can’t have it all at once,” said Oprah Winfrey. The older I get, the more I realise: Truer words have never been spoken. Even Stephen Covey, who advocated for balance in life in his famous The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, emphasised that sometimes, one area of life takes precedence over the others, and that’s completely normal.
     

    I’m on record pointing out that the balance we all strive for, shouldn’t and can’t be static. The idea that we could somehow do just enough of everything that’s most important to us, indefinitely, is absurd. That’s just now how life works.
     

    Therefore, it’s time we let ourselves off the hook and realised that the “dynamic balance” I often mention, is the true holy grail: One thing or another taking priority over others, and at other times moving into the background, so that overall, balance is maintained.
     

    Now the really tough question is: What are the things we should strive to keep in balance? What really should be part of our lives and our priorities? How can we “have it all”?
     

    I’m glad you asked!
     
     

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    Pitfall: Misunderstanding “priorities”

     

    Most people will agree with Oprah Winfrey’s words quoted above, and say that it’s necessary to prioritise the important things in life. However, it’s important to pay attention to which things are actually mutually exclusive and which are fine co-existing.
     

    For example, when I speak about prioritising passion(s), people usually assume that this means sacrificing success in one’s chosen career. Or, they assume that money must be unimportant just because I emphasise that prioritising a passion doesn’t mean earning money with it.
     

    We tend to jump to these conclusions because of our conditioning, because of the world we live in and the way we have been brought up. However, we need to realise that they’re wrong and harmful. Let’s break it down:
     

    1. As you have seen if you’ve checked out my coaching programs, part of my work with my clients involves setting boundaries at work, learning to say no, and going home on time more often. You may have also seen that rather than resulting in problems at work, my clients regularly get offered promotions or pay rises. That’s because being grounded and centered, being a happy, balanced person, and having strong boundaries are all characteristics of leaders.
    2. Not making money with a passion doesn’t mean that money isn’t important. It only means that money isn’t the only measure of importance in life. Money is great – there’s a reason I’ve been working on my own money management skills and my money mindset for years and even have a coaching program about money. There’s nothing wrong with having or wanting a lot of money, but that doesn’t mean you need to make this money with your passion.

     

    have it all
     

    We’re going about it the wrong way

     

    Modern media, influencers, and all sorts of advisors are screaming at us that whatever they have made their mission, is the most important thing in life. Healthy eating, exercise, meditation, maintaining relationships, careers, family, beauty regimes, leisure activities… If we were to prioritise all of these, our lives would be very stressful.
     

    Let me rephrase that: Because we try to prioritise all (or most) of them, our lives are very stressful. Our efforts are also doomed to fail, which makes us feel terrible. At times, and with some people, they lead to the opposite phenomenon, which is inertia and the total inability to get anything done. And no matter on which side of the divide we fall, we feel like we should be doing more.
     

    I’ve pointed out before that never in history have we had this weird expectation to do it all, and perfectly. I repeat, it’s not possible. Granted, some people come pretty close – but if you really look at their lives, not through the filter of social media but their actual, everyday lives, you realise quickly that their schedules are so rigid and regulated, it’s not what most people would call a recipe for happiness.
     
     

    The importance of alignment

     

    So how do you choose what to prioritise? I suggest taking a look at your values and the things that truly matter to you.
     

    What’s most important in your life? When you ask yourself this question, try not to answer in the way that you think is expected of you. You don’t have to say “my family” or “my children” – of course they’re important, but they don’t have to be your reason to exist! It doesn’t make you a bad spouse or parent if your list is topped by different things.
     

    If you’d like to know mine: Freedom and independence are my top values and also my top priorities. I want to live in different countries and regularly meet the people I love, which are also one of my priorities. Another is, unsurprisingly, my passions, especially music and coaching.
     

    In practice, this has led to a life with a lot of downtime. I try to create plenty of space for my passions. I have bought a small house last year, but I don’t have any pets of my own any longer because that would be a problem when I spend months every year elsewhere, or spontaneously want to stay the night at a friend’s or a lover’s house.
     

    The life I’m building requires a deal of money, and so I’m currently focusing on upgrading my money game, which is a lifelong process (I’ve spoken about this in my vlog this month). So that’s another priority.
     

    Everything else, such as my health, fitness, my family etc., are also important, but not priorities. I give them their due, because I love my family and obviously, my health makes this life of mine possible, but my focus is elsewhere. And I refuse to feel bad or guilty about that.
     

    freedom
     

    Don’t “have it all”, have the right things

     

    The conclusion to it all is that I can’t tell you what to do. Well in fact, I can: I’ll tell you to prioritise what lights you up. But what that is, and what else in your life needs to be a priority, is up to you to decide.
     

    Do a bit of soul searching, and please, please resist the pull towards “perfection”. It’s not how humans were meant to be, and it doesn’t make us happy. I’d go so far as to call it the disease of our modern times! Resist, downsize, and focus on what matters to you. Your happiness levels will soar.
     

  • The 3 Most Effective Tools For Change


     

    Abstract:
     

    Change is a charged word. People resist it, or crave it, are afraid of it, or don’t know how to go about it.
     

    I often say that the best definition of a coach is “agent for change”. Rather than teaching people or telling them what to do, a qualified coach uses tools and processes designed to bring out a person’s best potential and thereby helps them change their life.
     

    Since it’s my qualification and experience, I’m an expert at what works and what doesn’t. Your mission today is to learn the most effective tools for change that I – as a coach – know.
     
     

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    Task 1: Start with First Aid

     

    Before I tell you the most effective tools, we need to address the elephant in the room: What to do if you really, truly need change, now.
     

    Imagine an emergency doctor faced with a bleeding accident vicitm, and starting to lecture them about road safety, seat belts, and taking breaks to avoid fatigue whilst driving. All this stuff is important and can prevent accidents, but right now the patient has injuries that need to be taken care of first.
     

    How do you know? If you’re tempted by “fix everything” offers that you know are too good to be true, it’s a sure sign that you need to fix your pain first. Address it, even if it’s a temporary bandage. Get a different job, leave your relationship, downsize your life, breathe.
     

    You can only create meaningful, long-term change when you’re no longer in acute pain. This is a mistake many people make.
     

    tools for change
     

    Task 2: The most effective tools for change

     

    Here’s what does work, and makes the most profound difference in my long experience.

    1. Baby steps. Yes, this sounds counter-intuitive, but taking small steps beats dramatic gestures any day. Change is a marathon, not a sprint.
    2. Accountability. This is a big part of coaching. Set yourself action goals, not just research, but something you need to do for your desired change. Find a way – a person (or a coach) – to hold you accountable.
    3. Rest. This takes on many forms: severely reducing social media, TV, and Netflix and the like, actually doing nothing, getting enough sleep…

    All the above are generally vastly underrated. They are the best-kept secrets when it comes to change, though! Now you know them.