Passions Can Turn Poisonous


 

Abstract:
 

I saw a meme on social media which infuriated me initially. It claimed that Self Care is used to cover up abuse and injustice instead of fighting them. I believe both fighting and Self Care are important, but it made me think.
 

Passion, too, can be used as a balm to smooth over imbalances in life. Maybe “poisonous” is too strong a word, but if passion isn’t prioritised, it can become a distraction from things that need to be addressed.
 

Your mission today is to make sure your passion is a priority, not a band-aid.
 
 

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Task 1: What lights you up?

 

The obvious first step in all this is to know what your passions are. I said it before and I’m repeating myself: Every hobby is valid, but not every hobby is a passion.
 

Passions make you feel blissful, like you’re coming home. They make you forget time. In fact, pursuing your passion is like being with someone you’re madly in love with in some ways!
 

So, what is your passion?
 

Passions Can Turn Poisonous

Photo by Matthew T. Rader on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Don’t let it turn poisonous

 

I keep harping on about prioritising passion for a reason. When a passion, or multiple passions, are at the centre, the rest of life tends to fall into place around them. Things work themselves out almost magically.
 

When you treat your passion like a hobby or an afterthought, it can make you complacent. You get small doses of what lights you up regularly, so you put up with the rest of your life being less than ideal.
 

Ask yourself:

  • What would your life look like if your passion(s) were the No. 1 priority?
  • What are you currently not doing to make this happen?

 

Be brutally honest with yourself, and then take steps. Take a course, get a Coach, do whatever it takes. This is your life time, not a rehearsal. It’s up to you to make it count.

It’s Not What You Do, It’s How You Do It


 

Abstract:
 

I was watching a TED talk by climber Alex Honnold when a realisation hit me. Basically, what he describes is the reason why I’m doing my work, my Coaching.
 

He described how he successfully completed a hugely challenging climb. Despite his success, he was left unsatisfied, because he had been struggling, afraid, and at one point he nearly fell to his death. So he worked on his next challenge for years, to make sure he’d complete it with ease and joy.
 

“It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it”.
 

Your mission today is to find out how you want to get to your dream life.
 
 

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Task 1: Find your goals and passion(s)

 

This is where you pull out your written goals and review them. Don’t have written goals? Get to writing them down, and then put reminders into your calendar to review them regularly. The 2% of people who do this are the most successful and happy folks on the planet.
 

Where do you want to be a year from now? Three, five years from now? What do you want to do, be, and have?
 

What lights you up? Make a list of things. This isn’t about hobbies – hobbies are great, enjoying a walk in nature is great, but if it isn’t something that makes you blissful and lets you forget time, it’s not a passion.
 

Photo by Mi Pham on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Find out how you do it (or want to)

 

Someone wise said the goal isn’t as important as the person you become whilst you’re working to achieve it. So, what person do you want to become?
 

How do you want to get there? With struggle and pain, or with ease and joy? This is where passions come in, and is the reason why I emphasise them so much. If you’re lit up, every type of work and progress becomes easier, more joyful and more meaningful.

Working Too Much And Still Broke?


 

Abstract:
 

In my 20s, I was broke pretty much all the time. I lived in my overdraft.
 

As I grew older and the jobs I worked in got more demanding, I slipped into a cycle of overspending, being broke, working even harder, being exhausted, and overspending to compensate. Many are familiar with this downward spiral, but can’t find their way out.
 

Your mission: Recognise the pattern and turn it around.
 
 

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Task 1: Come clean

 

You may protest that you really don’t earn enough. This might be true. But if you’re like most people, you probably earn more now than you did when you’d just finished your training or degree. Your standard of life simply went up with your income.
 

Also recognise that overspending, being broke and then having to work even more is exactly what capitalism wants us to do. It’s built on ever-increasing spending. You’re not stupid or alone, you’re still broke because you’re meant to be.
 
 

Task 2: No more “broke” mentality

 

I hate the term frugality. It smacks of lack and self-denial. I want you to recognise that your living above your means is what actually leads to self-denial, in the shape of ever more work and pressure.
 

This work goes beyond a video. You need to continuously work on your money mindset and change it from scarcity to abundance.
 

Working Too Hard And Still Broke?

Photo by Nolan Issac on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Joy in abundance

 

When I downsized my life, it improved in every way. I had time, rest, space to pursue my passions, and enough money for everything.
 

Here are three steps to get there:
 

  1. Stop buying stuff. It’s as simple as that. You don’t need new clothes, or a gadget you’ve never needed before. Borrow, swap, reuse!
  2. Determine two or three “luxuries” you can’t do without. Consciously decide you’ll keep them, and feel good about yourself.
  3. Determine what lights you up and allocate money to it. There’s nothing more important, and you’ll no longer need impulse-purchases when you’re lit up with joy.

Your Future Self Calls And Says…


 

Abstract:
 

“Hi!”
 

Ok, seriously. There have definitely been times in my own life when I felt like I wasn’t moving forward. I tried to go self-employed and went back to employement only months later because it just wasn’t feasible. One year, I applied for a mortgage and was turned down.
 

I have a mortgage now. I’m also moving towards transitioning out of my daytime job, and this time I’ll actually be able to live on what I’m making. If I could reach back in time and talk to myself five or ten years ago, I’d tell her to hold out, to pursue passions, to focus on joy, and to trust the process.
 

What would your future self say to you if they could see you right now?
 
 

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Task 1: Where are you now?

 

Determine where you stand in each area of life (the Life Audit is a great way of doing that!): personal, financial, health-wise, regarding your passions… Be honest.
 

Don’t use this exercise to pass judgment on yourself. Instead, assume the viewpoint of an outside observer, evaluating your life as objectively as possible.
 
 

Task 2: Where do you want to be?

 

We’re talking pipe dreams here. In an absolutely ideal dream-life, where would you be in each of the categories?
 

Be very specific. “Rich” or “a millionaire” doesn’t cut it. “Living off interest to the tune of 5,000 a month” is more like it.
 

Your Future Self Calls

Photo by Johannes Plenio on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Ask your future self

 

Now imagine you got visited by your own self from ten years in the future. She knows your results from Tasks 1 and 2, because she is you. What would she tell you (if you have trouble imagining this, then first try and imagine what you’d tell your past self)?
 

It can help looking into a mirror for this, and actually talking to your mirror image. Make a note of your wisdom, and think of ways to use this knowledge today.

Why You Aren’t Prioritising Your Passion


 

Abstract:
 

“It’s not that I never have time to paint,” my client told me. “I just always find something more urgent to do, like housework. It’s like I’m waiting for permission.”
 

The word permission acted like a signal for me. It was the root of the problem, and it’s a rather common one: We unconsciously wait for outside permission to do what lights us up.
 

Your mission today: Learn to love and trust yourself enough to prioritise your passion(s).
 
 

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Task 1: Debunking the “permission slip” for your passion

 

Not sure if you’ve been waiting for permission? Check if any of the following apply to you.
 

  • You think you’re not good enough to make your passion a priority.
  • You think there are more important things.
  • You’re waiting for your spouse’s/a teacher’s / your parents’ approval

 

Task 2: Learn why it’s important to give yourself permission

 

There really is no outside force to judge whether you’re “worthy” of your passion. How do you know you’re worthy? When it lights you up. If it does that, if you feel happy or fulfilled when you pursue your passion, it’s worth pursuing and you’re worth doing it.
 

It’s important to realise this. The decision and the permission need to come from yourself. Because if it did come from the outside, do you know what would happen? You’d resist it.
 

your passion

Photo by Hian Oliveira on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Learn to love and trust yourself enough

 

Increase your self-esteem by doing any or all of the following:
 

  • Say daily affirmations like “I’m enough. I’m doing so well.”
  • Set yourself small tasks or commitments and see them through.
  • Practise self care.
  • Do random acts of kindness.

 

What lights you up, needs to be No. 1 in your life. Only then can you be your best self for others, too.