Monday Sparkles: I SEE You

Live your dreams, wild spirits
Remember the movie Avatar? I know many have criticised it as clichéd and formulaic, but there are parts of it I absolutely loved. One was the way the Pandora natives greet each other with the words: “I see you”. It’s then explained that this doesn’t just mean looking at someone, but really, truly SEEing into them and appreciating them for all they are.

In my own journey as a Coach and an entrepreneur, I’m at a point where I’ve recently done much tweaking and re-thinking. I talk to a lot of people these days, and it’s made me realise how blessed I am by the tribe of beautiful souls around me – my Coaching clients, friends, and my subscribers – in other words, you!

It’s been a while since I wrote a “love letter” and I felt another one was overdue. I want you to know that I’ve got your back all the way. The following goes from my heart to you.
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If you are creating

If you are you currently re-evaluating and designing parts of your life, waking up to new truths, or moving in a different direction… If you are taking action and feeling fired up by the first results, if you are living your passions… I see your joy.

I feel your excitement, and I think it’s a privilege to witness you unfold. I also know that you’re often scared because you’re leaving so much behind, such as the way you used to be and maybe even some people you used to share a lot with. I’m here to tell you that you’re okay. The trepidation and the way we’re sometimes a little over-emotional when things are evolving fast, are all signs that you are on the right way.

“If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough,” (quote by Ellen Johnson Sirleaf). Keep moving. Don’t shrink back from the fear, gently feel your way along it. It’s your guide to where you need to evolve to next.

 

If you are plateauing

Whatever your goals are, chances are there will be periods of rapid development and quieter times when things slow down and stabilise. If you are working your backside off but feel like you are no longer moving forward, I see your impatience.

I feel your doubts and your worries. I’m impressed by your persistence and the things you’ve already achieved. Again and again, I point out to you how far you’ve come already. Progress is hardly ever steady, it moves in phases. There’s nothing wrong with you or the hard work you’re putting in. You are doing everything right. Just keep going.

“Nothing worth having comes easy,” (quote by Theodore Roosevelt). You could look at plateaus as a test of your mettle. It’s as if life wants to find out how serious you are about your goal. Don’t give up! Your passions are worth it. This is usually the time just before things start to happen in a really big way.

 

If you are in hibernation mode

If you are stalling and feel unable to reach for any particular goal at the moment… if you are saying that the circumstances, be it illness or your general life situation, are making it impossible for you to move forward… I see your need.

I feel your reasons for staying where you are. I know things aren’t always easy, and sometimes it can be next to impossible to move beyond your comfort zone. There are times in life when you simply need to rest, to be where you are, before you can reach out again.

Life isn’t linear, it’s cyclical, and almost everyone has experienced periods of inertia. There’s nothing wrong with it, either. I would gently encourage you not to stay still for too long, though, as it can get more and more difficult to start moving again with each passing day. Don’t feel guilty. There’s nothing wrong with you. Give yourself permission to rest, and resolve to start moving forward again once you’re ready.
Wherever you are, please know that you are in the right place. This is where you need to be and the next step will reveal itself once you’ve learned what you are supposed to learn from the current one. You can, of course, speed up the process – Coaching is my favourite turbo to attach to life – and if you’d like to try, please contact me or someone else you resonate with.

I wish you joy!

Monday Sparkles: Which Money Type Are You?

Money Coach Sibylle

Some would have us believe that we are purely rational beings, but that’s quite simply not true. If we were, we’d all eat healthy, get enough sleep, and be rich and happy! Money seems to be an area where we are particularly irrational, although most of us are completely unaware of this and think their way of dealing with money is universal. This belief is at the root of many a marital row!

There are many different systems of “money mindsets” or personalities, with as many as 8 or 10 distinct personalities identified in each. Personally, I’m always in favour of simpler, clearer systems, so here’s what I’ve found in my studies and my work with clients. I’m outlining them below; you’ll probably recognise yourself in at least one of them, as many people are blends between at least two types.
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Saver

If you are a saver, you like to hoard your money. The thought of the proverbial Rainy Day keeps you from taking financial risks. Investing in yourself or taking out a loan to finance something you really want, or an education or course (or Coaching), seems reckless and frivolous to you.

The advantage of being a saver is that you’re unlikely to ever get into financial trouble. The downside is that you may deny yourself and those around you the joy of adventure and risk-taking.

In order to challenge yourself to become more daring, make a finance plan allocating percentages of your monthly income to things like fun and personal development, as well as gifts for others. Commit to spending that money every month (or the accumulated amounts every three months or so). Money makes you safe, yes, but it can also provide the means for you to grow and evolve, and enjoy life.

 

Spender

Money never stays with you for long. As soon as you come into any amount of money, you find ways to spend it. No matter how much money you make, you never have anything left in your account at the end of each month.

This money type knows how to enjoy themselves. They are generous and love treating others as well as themselves. However, larger financial goals which require saving up, tend to elude them, and if anything untoward happens, they are woefully unprepared and may find themselves penniless.

Perhaps you’re saying that you only buy what’s necessary, but that’s not really true, is it? Most spenders tend to “leak money” as I call it, by buying impulsively. You’ll think you can’t afford going after your passion(s) or sign up for that course (or for Coaching), but the harsh truth is: As long as you have money for a TV license, for buying clothes or for any number of subscriptions from Netflix to the gym, you actually have money. It’s just a matter of allocating it differently.

Like the Saver, you need to make a budget and stick to it. Be sure to allocate plenty of cash to fun, so you’ll actually stick to it, but also include saving.

 

Avoider

This is the type who will tell you that money isn’t important. They dislike dealing with money, never so much as glance at their bank statements, and leave bills unopened for weeks. Spending isn’t a problem for them, until they find to their surprise that they’ve exhausted their bank account including the overdraft because they had no idea how much they had in the first place.

Avoiders are free of worries and easy-going when it comes to money. Sooner or later, though, they will run into trouble because flying blind only works as long as there are no obstacles.

In order to come to grips with being an Avoider, you will have to force yourself to actually deal with your finances. Set a date every month to review your finances, or if you’re in a relationship, involve your partner so you can hold each other accountable. Then, make a monthly budget and stick to it. This isn’t stuffy and unadventurous, it’s the key to the adventures you most want in life, as you’ll be able to actually afford them when the opportunity comes along.
Money habits are hard to change, as they are very deeply rooted in our personalities and our perception of ourselves. It’s worth doing the work, though, as it will put you in control of your life like no other change of habits will. Get your finances sorted (if you want to turn around your situation fast and with dramatic results, contact me about money Coaching), and then do exactly what you want in life! If you start today, you won’t know yourself a year from now.

Monday Sparkles: What’s Really Holding You Back?

 

I read a lot of books on personal development and I attend webinars and live trainings as often as I can. Some of the subjects are repetitive, but it never does any harm to hear the same thing again, often expressed in a slightly different way which makes me realise a new aspect to it, and many times I get new inspiration to work on myself in a different way.

One subject which seems to come up a lot is fear. It’s something I never used to pay much attention to. I don’t view myself as a fearful person and I don’t share some of the most common fears, such as speaking in public, travelling alone or going out / to the cinema on my own, or being outside in the dark. I always thought fears don’t hold me back.

It was only recently that I realised I do have fears. They’re not as visible or obvious as I would have expected, but they certainly exist.


Master of disguise

You see, fear is a master of disguise. It may be perfectly clear at times, but in most cases it hits us under cover of reasonable objections, family obligations, being “too busy”, and having to put other things first, such as a daytime job or loved ones. Once we examine these “perfectly sound reasons” a little more closely, though, they turn out to be smoke screens to mask any number of fears.

I’ll describe some common fears to make it easier for you to spot them:

Fear of visibility. This is one I definitely struggle with. Any kind of success can make you more visible. If you’re in business, people will notice you and the chance of being the target of negativity or social media “trolling” increases, too. If you are promoted in your job, more people will know you and once again you are more likely to become a target of gossip or negativity. Financial success will make you stand out amongst your friends and family, who might get envious or no longer regard you as one of their own. The list goes on.

Fear of failure. If you strike out to reach your goal and fall flat on your face, the likelihood is that you’ll be hurt and feel bad about yourself. You may also worry what others will think of you – those who warn you about the dangers of pursuing your dream will be validated if you fail. Of course, we all know that the only failure is to stop trying, but it’s not always that easy when you are taking those first nervous steps towards the thing you want most in the world.

Fear of success. This one is trickier and a lot harder to spot. You may have heard the quote by Marianne Williamson: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.” Why would we fear what we wish for most? Because we assume that once we have reached our goal, we will always be blissful and life will be perfect, and we worry we might get what we want and still not be perfectly happy. We’ll be out of excuses! It may sound silly, but this is a terrifying thought for most people.

 

Why this is important

You could take the rebellious stance and ask why we need to uncover and face our fears at all. After all, you are living quite comfortably; it’s not like you’re desperately unhappy. Why not just stay on the safe side and live out your life within your own limits?

Most people do just that. And while this approach certainly keeps fear at bay, it also shrinks our lives. You see, fear is a great compass: It is usually attached to whatever makes us happiest. Therefore, getting to know our hidden fears and then working on overcoming them, leads to an enhanced life of deep gratitude and happiness – the kind of life everyone dreams about.

I invite you to get to know yourself even better. Feel along your fear: Is your dream making you fearful because it’s almost too good to imagine? This means you’re on the right track. To tackle your fear, get support – do some personal development such as getting a Coach (this is the fast track). At the very least, read books and apply what you find in them. It is not too late, no matter what age you are or what your situation is. You can face your fears and move past them, and once you do, you won’t believe the transformation it creates in your entire life.

 

The above is the lead article in this week’s Monday Sparkles. Join the tribe to receive the full newsletter, exclusive offers and insider info (100% spam free), by filling in the short form below. You will get:

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Monday Sparkles: The One, Crucial Difference

Haven’t you wondered sometimes just why some people are happy/successful/wealthy/fulfilled and others aren’t? Of course, people are usually quick to come up with explanations, but to be quite honest, I don’t quite buy the majority of those. I’m sure you’ve heard them:

“The rich have it so much easier.”
“He’s incredibly lucky!”
“If I looked like that, I could do it too.”

The above factors play a role, but they’re never the whole story. There are plenty of rich people who are desperately unhappy and some who lose all their money and more. As for luck, that’s purely a matter of perception (studies have found that the majority of people have very similar numbers of positive and negative events in their lives). And looks are superficial and at best make a first impression easier and more favourable.

More to the point, there’s any number of people who weren’t born into privilege, went through the famous School of Hard Knocks, and aren’t particularly beautiful, and they still became what they choose to be, whether that’s happy or successful or rich, or all of the above. How do they get there?

 

The action factor

I’ve been studying personal development, excellence, and happiness long before I ever became a Coach, and in all these years I’ve seen over and over again one point which seems to make all the difference. That point is action.

People who make it, take action. In fact, they take consistent action. The place where I, and many others, tend to fall down is after the initial enthusiasm. I take the first step with determination, and then after a while I fall off the waggon. It’s a human weakness, and nearly everyone has experienced it in some form.

The few people who take action and stick with it, are the ones who make it to their goals. This is one of the reasons why I fell in love with Coaching after I signed up with my first Coach in 2004. I couldn’t believe the leaps and bounds I evolved in all of a sudden, and the amount of things I got done – and the profound happiness I experienced! Coaching absolutely transformed me and my life. Two years later, I decided that I wanted to give others the same revolutionary experience – and here I am.

 

“Just do it”

Action differntiates those who just read an article like the ones I send out in Monday Sparkles, and those who actually do the steps suggested in the articles. They are implementers. They take control. They’re the ones who are signing up for the free Wild and (Financially) Free training when it opened last week.

Conversely, it’s easy to spot those that won’t take action: They are the ones who complain they don’t have enough money to live their passions and create a life of joy, but when they are presented with a free training on gaining that money, they find an excuse not to do it. Or they sign up for it and then fail to implement every step into their lives.

I’m not pointing any fingers; I’ve been guilty of all of the above. As I said, it’s human nature. What you need to do is outsmart the pull of the status quo by finding a way to hold yourself accountable. Coaching does that (it’s one of its many benefits), and so does a buddy you regularly talk to and exchange ideas and inspiration with, or a mastermind group.

The truth is that your life won’t just change by chance. It can only change if you take responsibility and act. Make the decision now! Decide what you will change or implement in your life, and then find a support structure to do it. Take that first step, and set a reminder in your calendar, on your smartphone, on the door of your fridge, or wherever you’ll see it, to follow up with many more steps, consistently and continuously until you get to your goal.

You deserve all your dreams, but your input is required. What’s your decision going to be? Is this just another article you’ve read, or are you ready for the change? It’s up to you alone, but you don’t have to go the distance alone. Get support, read inspirational books, do workshops and online trainings. Maintaining the correct mindset is half the battle.

The above is the lead article in this week’s Monday Sparkles. Join the tribe to receive the full newsletter, exclusive offers and insider info (100% spam free), by filling in the short form below. You will get:

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Monday Sparkles: Breaking Free

Some weeks ago, I wrote about what it means to be financially free. My motivation for this came from the new Coaching program I’m working on, “Wild and (Financially) Free“, which focuses on getting enough money for our passion(s) – to pay for any expenses and to create the necessary space and time in our lives.

Money can translate into freedom in very real terms, but it’s not the only aspect, and that’s how I had the idea to this article today. I’m going to explore different paths to your personal freedom, and I’m also making a strong case against anyone else trying to tell you what your freedom should look like.

This includes freedom without any money. It may seem counter-intuitive for me to talk about this, as a Coach who helps people achieve better cash flow, but it’s actually very much in line with what Coaching is all about: Empowering the client to achieve their dreams, instead of simply teaching them to reach the same dreams the Coach is pursuing.

 

The meaning of freedom

If you ask ten different people what freedom actually is, you’ll probably get at least eight different answers. There are so many ways to be free. Before I delve into definitions, I’d like to state the rather sobering fact that nobody actually is completely free. We all live in the context of society, our loved ones, or at the very least we are restrained by the living conditions of our planet and our basic physical needs. Freedom as an absolute doesn’t exist, and that’s where the contradictory definitions come from – they are all equally subjective, and so they reflect what’s important to an individual, rather than a universal truth.

Having said that, here are some ways to look at freedom:

Financial freedom. If you remember that article a while ago, being financially free means to be able to live comfortably off the interest of one’s financial assets without having to touch the invested capital. I’m starting out with this one because it’s the only term on this list which actually has a clear, verifiable definition, but there are still a few subjective aspects to this one as well.

To be financially free of course means that you can do what you wish with your days, and that is definitely freedom. if you are, however, stuck in a scarcity mindset and feel the need to constantly increase your wealth to still feel secure, you aren’t free at all. Even for the extremely wealthy, mindset determines the fulfillment they feel around their money.

Freedom from finances. Now this one is probably not going to be relevant for you, as you are fairly certainly using a computer or other electronic device to read this, and that implies you live very much “on the grid” and as part of our regular bill-paying, grocery shopping society, like I do. Getting away from all that is a fairly effective way to free yourself, though, and so I thought I’d mention it. I personally know people who either on their own or as part of an eco-village project, are growing their own food and making their own things, at least for the most part. They have become almost or completely independent of money, jobs, and consumerism.

Freedom to live a joyful life. This is the one I’ve chosen for myself. I would love financial freedom but have decided that I don’t want it enough to do the work required. Instead, I have chosen to grow my Coaching business, which is my calling, and to use my financial savvy to make sure that I’ll always have sufficient money for my passions and to have an ecstatically joyful life every single day. It’s a viable choice, either as a temporary stage in life or a permanent solution; I’m honestly not sure which one it’ll be for me.

This approach is all about the freedom to do as I please, within the limits set by earning money and organising my life. It works for me, as I couldn’t do archery or swordfighting or dancing all day anyway, and I love both my daytime job and my Coaching business.

Your own situation is just that, your own. We all come from different backgrounds, face different challenges and enjoy different advantages. What’s important is that you understand that “freedom” is a subjective term and up to your own interpretation, because frankly, living according to someone else’s idea of freedom defeats the very idea behind being free.

Nothing’s more worth figuring out than your own version of freedom. It’s precisely that which I work on with my clients, and why I chose this particular focus of my Coaching.
​​The above is the lead article in this week’s Monday Sparkles. Join the tribe to receive the full newsletter, exclusive offers and insider info (100% spam free), by filling in the short form below. You will get:

  • A weekly newsletter with free Coaching magic every Monday
  • Special offers exclusive to subscribers
  • Insider “behind the scenes” info about Wild Spirits Coaching
  • A free worksheet and the valuable “One-Year Goals Workbook”