Doing The Work

Back in the “supermodels” era in the early 90s, Cindy Crawford was asked by one interviewer, whether she felt lucky to be so beautiful. Crawford replied along the lines of: “Genetics only play a small part. Don’t you realise I work 8-10 hours a day to look like this?”

I often remember this when people comment on how “lucky” I am to be such a positive, happy person. Really it’s nothing to do with luck, it’s continuous work, vigilant selection of the input I’m allowing into my brain, active clearing up of negativity, lots of Self Care, and working on processing my emotions. I get sad, frustrated, and morose just as much as anyone else; more than some, actually, because of my high sensitivity and intense emotions.

At times, I have succumbed to negativity so I know how easily it can happen. The conclusion from this is not, however, that being positive is very hard. True, it requires discipline and continous work, but this work is fairly easy to do.

Why, then, aren’t there more people doing it? Because it’s just as easy NOT to do it.

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If Only I Knew…

If I only knew, I thought, what my purpose IS.
If only I knew, whether I’ll really stick with this new hobby/person/job I’m crazy about right now.
If only I knew whether to invest in my dreams now, when they might no longer be my dreams a year from now.

It’s hard to know sometimes, isn’t it? It used to drive me crazy. I did courses and workshops, read books on commitment, and worked on myself. And still I wondered when I would find the answers.

It took me many years to understand that I was asking the wrong questions.

During those years, I pursued the dreams I dreamt then. Relationships blossomed and then broke up, dreams changed. But I finally realised that the outcome didn’t matter; it wasn’t a “failure” and I hadn’t wasted the time, money, and energy I had invested.

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What If?

Every now and then, I write an article asking the big questions. You know, the REALLY big ones, the ones that make you stop and go, “hmmmm…”, the ones which have the power to shake someone up to the extent where they’ll make changes and end up being happier. It’s been at least a year since the last one of these articles, so I guess it’s time for another one! Here goes.

As always, the article won’t just make you think but also attempt to get you into action mode. I don’t believe in just pep talk, or “motivational” articles; these are lovely to nod along to, but are lacking in measurable effects on people’s lives. It’s always up to you, of course, but if you do realise there are adjustments you’d like to make, I’m going to point you in the direction of the next steps to take.

With that said, let’s ask the first question:

 

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

This one’s a classic, of course, but I don’t think many people realise its true power. It is not meant in the sense of a three-wishes fairy-tale or movie, where you’ll wish you could win the olympics in figure skating at 55 just because you can. No, this is aimed at something more serious. You could call it your inner core, your deepest life wish.

What WOULD you do?

Would you start that business? Go freelance as an artist/writer/dancer? Blow your savings on travelling the world? Do take some time to think about it; most of us have “reality” drilled into us so deeply, we can’t simply switch it off and truly contemplate what things would be like without the restrictions of possible failure, bankruptcy, injury, or worse.

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What Is “Financial Freedom”, Exactly?

Expressions like “Financial Freedom” are being thrown about a lot by self-styled success gurus on the internet. What do they even mean?

As a Coach, I know how important it is to gain clarity before even starting out on the journey towards a goal. Therefore, I’m going to give you exact definitions of some of the most frequently used terms, and then I’m going to suggest a few strategies on how to start moving towards that beautiful state where you control your money, rather than letting it control you.

Financial Security

We’ll start out with the minimum, which is Financial Security. This is defined as having a sum set aside – such as, in a savings account – which will cover your (and your family’s or other dependents’) living costs for at least six months. In other words, you’ll be able to cover your bills and survive.

This is important in the case of loss of income.

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How To Make Good Choices

There’s a book by Brian Klemmer titled “If How Tos Were Enough, We Would All Be Skinny, Rich And Happy”. He has a point – experts might argue about the details, but we all have at least a rough idea of what foods are good for you, that exercise is important, and that we need to save money in order to be wealthy. Many of us have at times entered into relationships that weren’t good for us, and we knew they weren’t, but we did it anyway.

Yet I titled this article “How To”. I did it because I don’t intend to write about what foods to eat, what exercise to take up, or what choices to make in other parts of your life. There’s no need to write about these things because frankly, we all KNOW, don’t we? Knowledge is not the problem. The problem is, at least sometimes, putting that knowledge into practice – or stopping ourselves from acting in way that are bad for us, although we know better.

It’s one of the areas where Coaching shines. That’s because of its powerful, transformative tools and the way a Coach will hold you accountable from one session to the next. These things make it much easier to truly change one’s ways, to establish new habits and stick with them in the long term.

An article can’t possibly provide these things, but I’m going to try and give you a few things you can work on if you so choose. They will make it easier to do the things which are good for you in the future.

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