Set Some DUMB Goals


 

Abstract:
 

Happy New Year and decade! I hope you’ve arrived well in the 20s. I have, and I suspect it’s going to be a rocking, sexy, amazing decade.
 

To make sure of that, I’ve set some goals. Now, you’ve all heard of “SMART” goals, but I’m going to suggest you go against the grain. Your mission today is to set some DUMB goals and then set yourself up for achieving them.
 
 

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Task 1: Learn about DUMB goals

 

“Smart” goals have been invented for a corporate environment. The method is reasonable and rather uninspiring. In recent years, there’s been a cheeky counter-movement in the Coaching community, called DUMB goals:
 

Daring – Forget being realistic. Reach for the stars.
Uplifting – If it doesn’t give you butterflies, what’s the point?
Magnificent – Bigger goals inspire more than small ones.
Brave – Life’s too short to play it safe.
 
 

Task 2: Set the right goals for you

 

This is meant to give you goals that excite you, rather than feel like a chore. For example, in the category “health”, you may have set the SMART goal to reduce your body fat by 5% in six months. A DUMB goal might be to eat and move in a way that makes you burst with energy and feel your best instead.
 

Go through each of the categories: Health, Finances, Job/Business, Relationships, Spirituality, Passions, and audit the goals you set. If needed, spruce them up with the DUMB principles.
 

dumb goals

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Task 3: Make it fun

 

You know I always tell you to do the first step within 72 hours. I’m still telling you this, but now your challenge is to find something to do that inspires you, rather than just some mechanical first step. Look at each goal and determine something you could do that’s fun, something you’ll look forward to.
 

Write down these first steps and schedule them today, tomorrow, or the day after. If it’s not in your calendar, it isn’t real! And then get going.

Get Ready For The 20s – Part II


 

Abstract:
 

If you’ve missed part I, please take some time to do this first; you’ll need your results from it! This week, your mission is to set yourself up for the best decade of your life so far.
 

Looking ahead doesn’t have to be mere wishful thinking. A significant part of the future is down to you, and that’s reassuring to know, but it’s also a big responsibility. Here’s how to stack the deck in your favour.
 
 

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Task 1: Housecleaning

 

No, don’t worry, I’m not going to send you for the duster! This is about you, your inner workings. To get started, please take a few minutes to review your results from part I.
 

Now ask yourself what you would like to leave behind in the 2010s. Write these things on a piece of paper, then tear it up and burn it. Or take a walk, pick up a stone and speak the things you’d like to leave behind into the stone, then hurl it into a brook or river.
 
 

Task 2: Call in the 20s

 

It’s time for the 20s! Get comfortable, take a deep breath, and take notes on the following questions, one by one:
 

  1. How would you like to feel in the coming decade?
  2. What passions would you like to prioritise?
  3. What do you want to focus most of your time and energy on?
  4. Who would you like to spend more time with?
  5. What would you like to say about your decade on the eve of 2030?

the 20s

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Task 3: Get specific

 

Now it’s time to set goals. Ask yourself what you’ll have to do and achieve in the coming year, in order to create this decade the way you just decided in Task 2.
 

Set up to three goals for the year each in the areas of Health, Finances, Job/Business, Relationships, Spirituality, Passions. Then determine the first step for each of these goals and schedule to take it within the next 72 hours.

Get Ready For The 20s – Part I


 

Abstract:
 

Every year around this time, posts on social media proclaim it’s been the worst year ever, and the next is going to be great. Some do this year after year, without realising that change is up to themselves in many cases.
 

Your mission is to review the ending decade, and to get ready for the 20s.
 
 

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Task 1: The good and the bad

 

For this task, write down all your personal highlights of the last 10 years: A dream job, wedding, a great holiday etc. Make it at least five for the decade, but not much more than one per year. Also note which year these things happened, or started, in.
 

Next, you do the same for the low points of the decade. Again, find between five for the whole decade, and one per year. Write them down by year.
 
 

Task 2: The timeline

 

Now you create a graph. On the horizontal axis, write the years 2010-2019. On the vertical one, the numbers 1-10. Anything above 5 is a positive event, anything below is negative.
 

Enter the highlights you noted down in Task 1, according to their year and how amazing they were (between 6 and 10). Then connect the dots – quite literally – to create a graph of all the best times this past decade.
 

Next you do the same with the low points. Connect these into a graph line as well.
 

the 20s

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Task 3: Gratitude and lessons for the 20s

 

Looking at your graphs, write down what you’re grateful for. The things you enjoyed, the highlights, maybe even some good outcomes from an initially low point in your life.
 

Next, write down the lessons you’ve learned. Think about how you were ten years ago, and how you are now. In what ways have you changed as a result of what happened? What have you learned?
 

Take your time with this. Also, save your paper, because you’ll need it in the second part, which will set you up for the 20s.

When Not To Use Positive Thinking


 

Abstract:
 

What? After all, you’ve heard me say numerous times that a focus on the positive makes for a happier, more productive life.
 

I still stand by this. But I’d like to once again fight the mistaken belief that in order to be successful or achieve anything, you have to be relentlessly positive. Apart from the fact that it’s impossible, it’s also not healthy or conducive to happiness.
 

Your mission is to learn where and how to use positive thinking.
 
 

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Task 1: Learn when not to use positive thinking

 

Here are two examples of situations where trying to force positivity does more harm than good.
 

  1. Calamities. Someone you love has died. An earthquake has destroyed your home. When life throws shit at you, don’t “keep smiling”. Suppressing emotions is damaging for your psychological health, so allow your feelings. All of them. Get help if needed.
  2. Mental illness. You can’t use positive thinking to overcome depression. Depression is not just a bad mood you need to “get over”, and neither are other mental illnesses or remnants of trauma. Give yourself the time and space to heal, and again, get the help you need.

 

positive thinking

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Task 2: Develop a positive attitude

 

The realm of positive thinking is in your everyday life, and around everyday challenges. It takes time to develop an attitude that’ll have you habitually look on the bright side, but it’s not something you’re either born with or not – you can learn this. Here are three ways to get started.
 

  1. Gratitude: Every day, take a few minutes to feel gratitude.
  2. Mind the gap: Use the famous gap between what happens and your reaction (I’ve found it! It was Viktor Frankl), to consciously choose a positive approach.
  3. 3. The big picture: A situation might seem overwhelming now, but think how you’ll see it a year from now.

 

Habits take time to form. Stay committed, and your life and happiness will transform.

Who Owns You Really?


 

Abstract:
 

This might sound crazy. After all, if you’re watching this video, you’re almost certainly not a slave physically owned by anyone else!
 

I’m not talking about actual slavery, but entirely different, subtle forms of ownership. In our day and age, this usually happens through money.
 

Your mission today is to become aware of who owns you, and then minimise the outside influence.
 
 

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Task 1: Become clear on who owns you

 

Of course we are no longer physically owned by someone who can literally buy and sell us, harm and even kill us. And yet there are people and organisations that have a claim on parts of your life.
 

If you’re employed, large parts of your time belong to your employer. If you pay off a mortgage or buy anything in installments, you have effectively given away power.
 

This isn’t always a bad thing, but it’s something you need to be aware of. Create a list of everything you’re paying off or owe.
 

who owns you

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Task 2: Take back ownership

 

A bank can take fairly drastic measures against you if you default on loan payments or a mortgage. Here are some steps you can take to gain back control.
 

Check the list from Task 1 so you’re fully aware of who owns you – or part of you and your time.
 

  • Separate the wheat from the chaff: For example, if you have a small child, they have a claim on you but that’s not ownership, it’s a natural and temporary duty of care.
  • Follow the money: Some forms of lending are good (mortgages can make a lot of sense, depending on the circumstances). But if you live in your overdraft or have loans for items, you need to re-assess.
  • Get smart about your money: read books, take coaching, go to a financial advisor. Create a plan on how to take back control bit by bit. It won’t happen overnight, so you need long-term support.