The New Loneliness (filmed before the COVID-19 crisis)


 

I created this video about six weeks ago, when there were no cases of COVID-19 in my country yet. Re-watching it, I wondered if I should even post it, but it seems strangely relevant, especially the part about the “new loneliness” coming to bite us in the backside once something happens. I hope this will help you (re-)connect with others.
 

Be safe and stay healthy.
 

Abstract:
 

One of the best-kept secrets of our time is what I call the new loneliness. It’s a secret because on the outside, we have more “friends” than ever: connections on social media, “followers” and the like. What we’re missing is actual human connection.
 

What’s this got to do with passions and purpose? A lot. Other humans inspire, help, and unlift us, and connection is a basic need we need to fulfill in order to focus on our passion(s).
 

Your mission is to restore the balance in your life.
 
 

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Task 1: Are you lonely?

 

The change happened so quickly and thoroughly, we have trouble remembering what it was like before. That’s why it’s so hard to recognise whether you’re actually isolated in the midst of all that networking.
 

I’m old enough to remember a time before the internet and even mobile phones. Information was a lot harder to find, so I for one am grateful for modern technology. But I also remember we used to talk. Not chat, not text. Talk.
 

Be honest with yourself: How much meaningful human contact do you have outside your immediate family? How often do you hug your friends? When something amazing happens, what do you do first – post it to social media or pick up the phone to call your bestie?
 

Loneliness

Photo by Thought Catalog on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Restoring connection

 

When I suggest to a client that they seek out like-minded people, or get help with the household to make time, they often resist. People no longer relate to others in a deep personal way. This manifests as loneliness, expecially when things aren’t going well.
 

Barbara Sher has a great way of bringing people together. I suggest you do the same: Set up a neighbourhood group, or invite your friends to dinner and then start an actually meaningful conversation over dessert. Reduce your online time. Make a point of meeting people face-to-face at least twice a week.
 

It requires a conscious effort, but it’s worth it.

How To De-Frazzle Your Brain, So You Can Concentrate Again


 

3 Steps To Be Able To Concentrate again

 

This is a special edition of Wild Spirits News – I have decided to temporarily discontinue the usual weekly mission videos (there will be one next week, but it has a special relevance), because it just felt off to continue as though nothing had happened. It has, and what has happened affects most people on this planet.
 

Instead, I’m providing my Wild Spirits community with as much in terms of free resources and help as I can. Here’s a brief summary of what I’ve got so far.
 
 

Resources for you

 

  1. Weekly virtual gatherings to practice human connection, now that most of us are stuck in some form of isolation, or at least have far reduced our social contacts. The next one is on Thursday, 26. March, at 8 pm UK/Ireland time, which is 9 pm in middle Europe, 4 pm on the US East coast and 1 pm on the West coast. At that time, you can join the meeting through this link.
  2.  

  3. Most of the support happens via my weekly love letter, aka newsletter, for which you can sign up here (100% spam free!):
  4.  






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  5. A few days ago, I went live on Facebook with advice on how to focus in this new, never-seen-before situation we’re currently in. I’d heard from so many Wild Spirits that they can’t concentrate on anything these days. I know what you mean!
     

    People have told me they found my 3 steps wildly useful, so I’ve uploaded the video here as well – see above. It’s not as structured as your usual weekly “missions”, but it’s to the point. I hope with all my heart that they’ll help.

  6. I’ve freed up more speaces for Coaching. My clients came to me to concentrate on their passion, and now they also benefit from the one-on-one support in times of COVID-19.

 

Stay safe and stay healthy. And if you can find the time at all, pursue your passion more than ever in these crazy times.

Set Some DUMB Goals


 

Abstract:
 

Happy New Year and decade! I hope you’ve arrived well in the 20s. I have, and I suspect it’s going to be a rocking, sexy, amazing decade.
 

To make sure of that, I’ve set some goals. Now, you’ve all heard of “SMART” goals, but I’m going to suggest you go against the grain. Your mission today is to set some DUMB goals and then set yourself up for achieving them.
 
 

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Task 1: Learn about DUMB goals

 

“Smart” goals have been invented for a corporate environment. The method is reasonable and rather uninspiring. In recent years, there’s been a cheeky counter-movement in the Coaching community, called DUMB goals:
 

Daring – Forget being realistic. Reach for the stars.
Uplifting – If it doesn’t give you butterflies, what’s the point?
Magnificent – Bigger goals inspire more than small ones.
Brave – Life’s too short to play it safe.
 
 

Task 2: Set the right goals for you

 

This is meant to give you goals that excite you, rather than feel like a chore. For example, in the category “health”, you may have set the SMART goal to reduce your body fat by 5% in six months. A DUMB goal might be to eat and move in a way that makes you burst with energy and feel your best instead.
 

Go through each of the categories: Health, Finances, Job/Business, Relationships, Spirituality, Passions, and audit the goals you set. If needed, spruce them up with the DUMB principles.
 

dumb goals

Photo by Jane Carmona on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Make it fun

 

You know I always tell you to do the first step within 72 hours. I’m still telling you this, but now your challenge is to find something to do that inspires you, rather than just some mechanical first step. Look at each goal and determine something you could do that’s fun, something you’ll look forward to.
 

Write down these first steps and schedule them today, tomorrow, or the day after. If it’s not in your calendar, it isn’t real! And then get going.

Get Ready For The 20s – Part II


 

Abstract:
 

If you’ve missed part I, please take some time to do this first; you’ll need your results from it! This week, your mission is to set yourself up for the best decade of your life so far.
 

Looking ahead doesn’t have to be mere wishful thinking. A significant part of the future is down to you, and that’s reassuring to know, but it’s also a big responsibility. Here’s how to stack the deck in your favour.
 
 

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Task 1: Housecleaning

 

No, don’t worry, I’m not going to send you for the duster! This is about you, your inner workings. To get started, please take a few minutes to review your results from part I.
 

Now ask yourself what you would like to leave behind in the 2010s. Write these things on a piece of paper, then tear it up and burn it. Or take a walk, pick up a stone and speak the things you’d like to leave behind into the stone, then hurl it into a brook or river.
 
 

Task 2: Call in the 20s

 

It’s time for the 20s! Get comfortable, take a deep breath, and take notes on the following questions, one by one:
 

  1. How would you like to feel in the coming decade?
  2. What passions would you like to prioritise?
  3. What do you want to focus most of your time and energy on?
  4. Who would you like to spend more time with?
  5. What would you like to say about your decade on the eve of 2030?

the 20s

Photo by Cris Trung on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Get specific

 

Now it’s time to set goals. Ask yourself what you’ll have to do and achieve in the coming year, in order to create this decade the way you just decided in Task 2.
 

Set up to three goals for the year each in the areas of Health, Finances, Job/Business, Relationships, Spirituality, Passions. Then determine the first step for each of these goals and schedule to take it within the next 72 hours.

Get Ready For The 20s – Part I


 

Abstract:
 

Every year around this time, posts on social media proclaim it’s been the worst year ever, and the next is going to be great. Some do this year after year, without realising that change is up to themselves in many cases.
 

Your mission is to review the ending decade, and to get ready for the 20s.
 
 

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Task 1: The good and the bad

 

For this task, write down all your personal highlights of the last 10 years: A dream job, wedding, a great holiday etc. Make it at least five for the decade, but not much more than one per year. Also note which year these things happened, or started, in.
 

Next, you do the same for the low points of the decade. Again, find between five for the whole decade, and one per year. Write them down by year.
 
 

Task 2: The timeline

 

Now you create a graph. On the horizontal axis, write the years 2010-2019. On the vertical one, the numbers 1-10. Anything above 5 is a positive event, anything below is negative.
 

Enter the highlights you noted down in Task 1, according to their year and how amazing they were (between 6 and 10). Then connect the dots – quite literally – to create a graph of all the best times this past decade.
 

Next you do the same with the low points. Connect these into a graph line as well.
 

the 20s

Photo by Paul Gilmore on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Gratitude and lessons for the 20s

 

Looking at your graphs, write down what you’re grateful for. The things you enjoyed, the highlights, maybe even some good outcomes from an initially low point in your life.
 

Next, write down the lessons you’ve learned. Think about how you were ten years ago, and how you are now. In what ways have you changed as a result of what happened? What have you learned?
 

Take your time with this. Also, save your paper, because you’ll need it in the second part, which will set you up for the 20s.