When Not To Use Positive Thinking


 

Abstract:
 

What? After all, you’ve heard me say numerous times that a focus on the positive makes for a happier, more productive life.
 

I still stand by this. But I’d like to once again fight the mistaken belief that in order to be successful or achieve anything, you have to be relentlessly positive. Apart from the fact that it’s impossible, it’s also not healthy or conducive to happiness.
 

Your mission is to learn where and how to use positive thinking.
 
 

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Task 1: Learn when not to use positive thinking

 

Here are two examples of situations where trying to force positivity does more harm than good.
 

  1. Calamities. Someone you love has died. An earthquake has destroyed your home. When life throws shit at you, don’t “keep smiling”. Suppressing emotions is damaging for your psychological health, so allow your feelings. All of them. Get help if needed.
  2. Mental illness. You can’t use positive thinking to overcome depression. Depression is not just a bad mood you need to “get over”, and neither are other mental illnesses or remnants of trauma. Give yourself the time and space to heal, and again, get the help you need.

 

positive thinking

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Task 2: Develop a positive attitude

 

The realm of positive thinking is in your everyday life, and around everyday challenges. It takes time to develop an attitude that’ll have you habitually look on the bright side, but it’s not something you’re either born with or not – you can learn this. Here are three ways to get started.
 

  1. Gratitude: Every day, take a few minutes to feel gratitude.
  2. Mind the gap: Use the famous gap between what happens and your reaction (I’ve found it! It was Viktor Frankl), to consciously choose a positive approach.
  3. 3. The big picture: A situation might seem overwhelming now, but think how you’ll see it a year from now.

 

Habits take time to form. Stay committed, and your life and happiness will transform.

Who Owns You Really?


 

Abstract:
 

This might sound crazy. After all, if you’re watching this video, you’re almost certainly not a slave physically owned by anyone else!
 

I’m not talking about actual slavery, but entirely different, subtle forms of ownership. In our day and age, this usually happens through money.
 

Your mission today is to become aware of who owns you, and then minimise the outside influence.
 
 

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Task 1: Become clear on who owns you

 

Of course we are no longer physically owned by someone who can literally buy and sell us, harm and even kill us. And yet there are people and organisations that have a claim on parts of your life.
 

If you’re employed, large parts of your time belong to your employer. If you pay off a mortgage or buy anything in installments, you have effectively given away power.
 

This isn’t always a bad thing, but it’s something you need to be aware of. Create a list of everything you’re paying off or owe.
 

who owns you

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Task 2: Take back ownership

 

A bank can take fairly drastic measures against you if you default on loan payments or a mortgage. Here are some steps you can take to gain back control.
 

Check the list from Task 1 so you’re fully aware of who owns you – or part of you and your time.
 

  • Separate the wheat from the chaff: For example, if you have a small child, they have a claim on you but that’s not ownership, it’s a natural and temporary duty of care.
  • Follow the money: Some forms of lending are good (mortgages can make a lot of sense, depending on the circumstances). But if you live in your overdraft or have loans for items, you need to re-assess.
  • Get smart about your money: read books, take coaching, go to a financial advisor. Create a plan on how to take back control bit by bit. It won’t happen overnight, so you need long-term support.

4 Ways To Get Into Action Mode


 

Abstract:
 

It’s no secret that I adore Steven Pressfield. If you haven’t read The War of Art, Do the Work or his latest, Turning Pro yet, go and get them! They’re huge eye-openers and very actionable loving kicks-in-the-butt to get you going on what lights you up.
 

There’s one sentence in particular from Turning Pro that I’ve underlined five times in my copy: “The sure sign of an amateur is he has a million plans and they all start tomorrow.” Hands up who knows this phenomenon?
 

Your mission today is to break out of inertia and get into action mode.
 
 

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Task 1: Understand it’s not about how good you are

 

Here’s what “pro” doesn’t mean: It doesn’t mean that you have to make your passion your profession or business. You needn’t earn your living with it. Whilst this is definitely possible – and if it’s your dream, I’m cheering you on all the way – it’s not what “turning pro” refers to.
 

What does it refer to? Your attitude. It’s what I mean when I tell you to prioritise your passion. We have usefulness drummed into us from childhood, so if something isn’t any “use” in terms of making money, it automatically becomes an afterthought.
 

This idea is destroying our happiness.
 

Action Mode

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Task 2: Get into action mode

 

Your passion is what lights you up and also lights the way to your purpose. It deserves a “pro” attitude. Here are four ways to get there:
 

  1. Calculate how much time you spend on unnecessary things every day (social media, pleasing others, things you’d rather not do or could outsource). Eliminate these things.
  2. Get coaching. Seriously. Nothing gets you into action mode faster.
  3. Do one thing for your passion today. Just one. But it has to be today. As a bonus, schedule this step in your calendar.
  4. Find others who share your passion.

 

Make a decision, right now, that you’re a pro at your passion(s). And then start.

Get Set For The Last 3 Months Of 2019


 

Abstract:
 

¾ of 2019 are over! Maybe you’re flying and your goals for the year are well underway. Maybe you lost track of them and feel too ashamed to even look. Or perhaps you never set goals in the first place?
 

It doesn’t matter where you stand, if you just bear with me, I’ll show you how you can make the most of the last three months of 2019.
 
 

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Task 1: The whys and wherefores of goals

 

Why would you set goals? Because the 2% of people who have written goals they review regularly, are by far the most successful, happy, and content humans on the planet.
 

Let’s break this down.
 

  • Have goals: “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” -Jim Rohn
  • Written: It’s not enough to decide to do something. There’s magic in putting it in writing.
  • Regular reviews: Goals are achieved, or need an extension, or become irrelevant. Set regular reminders (a few weeks ago, I talked about using your calendar!) to review and update your goals.

 

goals review

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Task 2: Celebrate your goals review

 

This task is twofold: First, take some time and get comfortable. Light some candles if you like, put on soft music, and if you’re part of a couple, absolutely involve your partner in this. Then do the following.
 

  1. If you don’t have written goals yet: Do the Life Audit and afterwards, set yourself 1 or 2 goals per life area, that will improve your score in that area.
  2. If you have written goals: Put them in front of yourself.
  • Note any progress.
  • Eliminate goals that no longer have meaning.
  • Celebrate goals you’ve achieved.
  • Set the next step for each goal.
  • Lastly, schedule in your calendar when you’ll take these next steps, and when your next goals review is going to be (I suggest 1 month from now).

The Real Reason Why You’re Exhausted


 

Abstract:
 

My clients are as diverse as the passions that light them up. And yet, the majority of them fights exhaustion – they’re just tired all the time.
 

I remember feeling like this myself, and there were a few rather solid, physical reasons for it. But the underlying bigger reason is more important, and I’d like to share my insights about this with you.
 

Your mission: Kick exhaustion to the curb and feel full of energy.
 
 

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Task 1: Exclude the other root causes

 

Before I get to “the big one”, I’d like to make sure there’s not something more mundane and obvious going on here. Lack of energy may be caused by:
 

  • Lack of sleep. Here’s a TED talk about how much more serious this is than we tend to think.
  • Lack of nutrition. When I lived mostly off junk foods, I was eating rather too much, but mostly empty calories. And I was tired all the time.
  • Some other medical reason. Don’t skip your medical check-ups to make sure you’re not overlooking something.

 

All of these can usually be fixed rather easily. This is the most basic form of self care and you deserve it.
 

exhausted

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Task 2: Exhausted no more

 

If your basic physical needs are met and you’re still tired all the time, you may be suffering from modern times. Yes, I just made that up, but bear with me, I have a point.
 

I’ve said before that we’re busier than we’ve ever been in history. There are more different things fighting for our attention than ever before. Distractions abound. At the same time, we have the sole responsibility not just for ourselves, but often also for our families.
 

And you wonder why you’re tired?
 

The remedy is to simplify:
 

  • Look at your life and cut out everything that isn’t essential. Leave in the passions and the people you love, and as much of your income source as you need.
  • Find ways to get help in stressful areas of your life (hire an assistant, or a cleaner. I promise you, it’s life changing).
  • Take up self-care routines, like the morning routines I talked about a few weeks ago, and/or a daily meditation practice of 10 or 15 minutes.