The Real Reason Why You’re Too Damn Busy For Your Passions

too busy
 

I’m on record saying that it isn’t true we don’t have enough time for our passions (on the front page of this website, for one thing), and I stand by this statement. The reason why the headline of this article seems to contradict this, is that we fill our lives with too many things.
 

Simply put, we would have all the time in the world, if we weren’t so determined to fill every minute of every day with activity. It’s not our “fault”, either: We simply live in a world which seems to demand of us to be all things to everyone. And because that’s all we know, we assume it’s always been this way.
 

What if I told you that this is a relatively new phenomenon historically, and that it’s possible even today, to return to a saner life rhythm?
 
 

Sign up for Wild Spirits News for free weekly Coaching magic, resources and exclusive offers! Simply fill in the form:
 






Wild Spirits News

You’ll receive a weekly newsletter. Unsubscribe at any time.
I’ll never share your details.


 

How work used to be divided

 

Of course the situation varied from one country to another, but where I’m from – central Western Europe – up to about 100 years ago there were certain societal structures in place. For one thing, there was a strict separation by class.
 

If you were a man and part of the aristocracy, you may have had a job, perhaps as a lawyer or a businessman. Women looked after the household, but not by picking up a brush: They were responsible for directing the servants, overseeing the work, and putting together menues.
 

Both men and women of the upper classes pursued what we would call passions today, things like playing an instrument, painting, or crafting. In contrast, the lower classes did all the hard work in the house and garden and also brought up the gentry’s children. Of course, they also had to look after their own children and household, which means they were too busy to pursue an art or craft or any other passion. There are a few exceptions, but most of the famous composers, painters, and writers we still know today, came from the wealthier classes.
 

housework
 

We’re both masters and servants

 

It was a terribly unjust system and it’s a great accomplishment that we’ve achieved a much fairer and more equal society (although there’s much work left to be done). What we’re overlooking is that these days, we expect of ourselves – and society expects of us – that we do the work of both the historical upper and lower classes.
 

Most people nowadays have a job which takes up a significant amount of hours every weekday. Then at home, they look after their children and do all the house- and garden work all on their own. In addition, they must keep in good physical shape and have a busy social life, whilst also pursuing any number of passions. We believe this is “normal”.
 

Meanwhile, a philosophy has taken hold since around the time of the Industrial Revolution, that teaches us to stay as busy as possible. We accept that working hard is a virtue and something everyone should aspire to. At the same time, while we’re encouraged to pursue our passions, it’s not socially acceptable to prioritise this or, God forbid, place more importance on it than on the aforementioned hard work.
 
 

We’re too busy because we’re exploiting ourselves

 

Before I catch too much flak for stating the above thoughts, please be assured that I’m aware I’m using very broad strokes to paint this picture here, and that in reality there was a lot more nuance to it. However, my main points stand. We have absorbed and accepted beyond questioning the fact that the way we live today is the way it’s supposed to be. We’re so used to being too busy that we look at everything even slightly divergent with mistrust or open ridicule.
 

In other words, we have fought for our freedoms politically and won so much – democracy, participation, equality (again, there’s a lot of work left to do, but compared to only a few hundred years ago, we’ve come a long way indeed) – only to enslave ourselves with our internalised expectations. We demand of ourselves to do the work that was historically done by the lower classes, as well as that which used to be reserved for the upper class, plus their pastimes and passions. And we expect to handle all this easily and be happy.
 

What we’ve created instead, is lives of constant exhaustion and a permanent vague feeling of not being enough. We’re simply too busy. Our self-esteem is so low that anyone who gets more done than we do in even one area of life, instantly makes us feel miserable and like a failure, and we look at them with envy and a disdain born from fear.
 

too busy
 

The inner revolution

 

Another thing we tend to look down upon is the need to fit in with our peers. We regard it as a weakness, when really it’s a deep human instinct and roots in our need to survive. For most of history, we have been dependent on the “herd”. These days, this dependence is mostly emotional, in that we need social contacts, but it still plays a huge part in our psychological and even physical health, so don’t discard it.
 

At the same time, it’s no longer fatal to disagree with the majority. In view of the circumstances I described above, I’d argue that in order to live a happy, fulfilled life, you almost have to.
 

I’ve made so many videos and posts about these things! The reasons why I keep repeating it is that swimming against the current of society remains difficult, no matter how long you’ve been doing it for. You need to protect your energy and sanity, and choose joy and passion over and over. That’s why I offer this content for free every week.
 
 

No longer too busy for your passions

 

You don’t have to do it all by yourself. For example, you don’t have to do all the house work on your own. I’m single and childless and I have a cleaner. Could I do the work myself? Heck, yes! Do I want to? No! I prefer to preserve my time and energy so I can show up for my clients as the best possible version of myself. This requires rest and downtime, just the way any professional has done it at all times historically before circa the early 20th century.
 

Let yourself off the hook and breathe the free air of having time and space for the things that matter. Time for yourself, your loved ones, and your passion(s). It’s nothing short of a revolution, and it’s why I chose to dedicate my life to supporting people who wish to do this. Get in touch if you’re ready for the transformation.

Pursuing Your Passion: From Intention To Action


 

Abstract:
 

Someone wise once said: “Nothing’s as far as the path from good intentions to a good deed.” We’re all familiar with this, aren’t we?
 

Although we often cite a lack of time or money, the real reasons why we don’t pursue our passions as much as we’d like to, lie within. Today’s mission is to get from intention to action.
 
 

Sign up for Wild Spirits News for free weekly Coaching magic, resources and exclusive offers! Simply fill in the form:
 






Wild Spirits News

You’ll receive a weekly newsletter. Unsubscribe at any time.
I’ll never share your details.


 

Task 1: Create the right conditions

 

Waiting for the conditions to be just right will have you waiting for a very long time. If you’re serious about prioritising your passion, you need to create favourable conditions and set yourself up for success.
 

Barring an actual emergency, many situations can be planned for. Let’s look at what can stand in your way and how to prevent it:

  • You’re exhausted – Ruthlessly insist on your sleep, breaks and downtime.
  • You’re unwell or ill – Take the time to heal. If you’re chronically ill, learn how this affects you and work with it.
  • You’re broke – Take the Wild Money program. Read books about personal finance. Budget for your passion.
  • Your partner/boss doesn’t respect boundaries – Be firm. Allow them the same courtesy. Plan in quality time with your loved ones. Look for a new job.

 

Task 2: From intention to action

 

Now that you’ve set yourself up for action, you need to get going. Immediately after watching this video, do 10 minutes of what lights you up.
 

Set your daily minimum for pursuing your passion (again, 10 minutes is fine!). Also set your desired time spent, such as an hour or two. If you’re tired or busy, look at Task 1 but also spend your minimum time on your passion.
 

The important thing is to stop any further planning and actually take the first step right now. Follow it up with daily actions to form a habit that will get you from intention to action.
 

Vlog 2: Looking For A House In Croatia


 

A House In Croatia

 

The second vlog episode is here! This time I’ve got big news, so there’s a lot of excitement (as the title states, it follows me as I’m looking for a house in Croatia).
 

Just like last time, there’s also beautiful footage of Croatian scenery, both in video clips and individual photos. And since it’s Easter, I also introduce you to an Easter specialty Croatians love.
 

I won’t write any more in this summary, because it’s difficult to tease the content any further without actually giving it away. Just go and watch it already, either above or on YouTube!
 

If you like what you see, consider signing up for Wild Spirits News. In addition to the monthly vlogs, you’ll also get free weekly Coaching magic to your inbox, with additional information and occasional offers that I only ever share by email. Sign up here, 100% spam free:
 






Wild Spirits News

You’ll receive a weekly newsletter. Unsubscribe at any time.
I’ll never share your details.


 

a house in Croatia

Can – And Should – You Feel Motivated Every Day?


 

Abstract:
 

Some years ago, I discovered the power of centering my life around my passions. I felt more inspired and motivated than ever, and I was outrageously happy.
 

These days, whenever I’m not quite feeling it and elect to have a cosy day at home, some people smirk a little. “What happened to your joy and passion?” they ask, implying that because I’ve figured out the secret to happiness, I should be happy pretty much permanently.
 

Your mission is to learn why you can’t – and shouldn’t! – be motivated every day, and how to maximise your happiness.
 
 

Sign up for Wild Spirits News for free weekly Coaching magic, resources and exclusive offers! Simply fill in the form:
 






Wild Spirits News

You’ll receive a weekly newsletter. Unsubscribe at any time.
I’ll never share your details.


 

Task 1: Motivated every day?

 

It’s a myth that some people are feeling great all the time. Unfortunately, this myth is widely believed. Along with it goes a feeling of failure whenever we’re not super motivated and inspired.
 

You’re human. Experiencing every human emotion, even feeling tired and unmotivated, isn’t a failure, it’s part of the package. Even understanding this, it can be hard not to feel bad about, well, feeling bad sometimes. Consciously practice letting yourself off the hook.
 

Nobody is motivated every day. That’s a good thing, in a way, because we all need breaks and rest, too. Listen to your needs and fulfil them as much as you can.
 

motivated every day
 

Task 2: Maximise your joy and happiness

 

You can’t always be on your top game, but you can certainly maximise the time you feel great. Here are three ways to do that:
 

Plan for regular downtime. Don’t wait until you run out of motivation. You can burn out on your passions, too! Therefore, plan regular time for self-care and time for rest.
 

Make your passions accessible. Don’t keep your crafting materials on the upper shelf or your workout things in the attic – have them handy and prioritise your passions-time.
 

Keep your passions fresh. Regularly try new things or do courses, and connect with others. Even the greatest passion can get stale if you never vary your approach.
 

3 Things That Keep You Stuck And Feeling Bad About Yourself

feeling bad about yourself
 

“If you do not change direction, you might end up where you’re headed.” -Unknown (often falsely attributed to Lao Tzu)
 

Everyone I talk to, seems to be convinced that they’re the only person on the planet who doesn’t have their sh*t together. Because everyone else seems so happy and in control (Instagram pictures don’t lie, right? Right??), they’re deeply ashamed of their own struggles.
 

It’s just not true! Everyone struggles and feels powerless sometimes, especially in the face of things we would like to change in our lives.
 

There are, however, ways to make change easier. They’re not always the flashiest or most glamorous techniques, but if they cause our lives to improve in exactly the way we choose, wouldn’t they be worth looking at?
 

The following are three tried-and-tested techniques to get out of your own way and stop feeling awful. One caveat before I begin: Reading this article isn’t going to change anything. Only implementing the steps I describe, will make a difference.
 
 

Sign up for Wild Spirits News for free weekly Coaching magic, resources and exclusive offers! Simply fill in the form:
 






Wild Spirits News

You’ll receive a weekly newsletter. Unsubscribe at any time.
I’ll never share your details.


 

Things that keep you stuck #1: Your all-or-nothing attitude keeps you feeling bad about yourself

 

If you’ve ever been on a weight-loss diet, you’re probably familiar with this one. You’re doing the first week according to plan and lose a few pounds. Fantastic! The next week you’re invited to a party. Halfway through the evening, you crack and eat a bowl of potato salad. Then you think: “It’s all ruined now anyway!” and proceed to also eat barbecue, finger food, and generous helpings of dessert.
 

If you’d stuck to just the potato salad, it would have been no big deal. It’s because you felt that once you’d broken your “winning streak” of perfection, nothing mattered anymore, that you went on that binge and probably ended up gaining back all the weight you’d lost up to then.
 

I have a bit of a dramatic streak and therefore, I love sweeping changes. Nothing inspires me more than making plans and writing lists and imagining exactly how I’ll do everything perfectly from now on. It just sounds so tempting! However, it doesn’t matter if this is about food, exercise, passions, or anything else – it’s doomed to fail.
 

In contrast, the way I established a routine of practising the piano after 15 years without a piano, was by making room for 15 minutes a day, which gradually expanded to take up more time. Whenever I don’t feel like practising, I go back to the 15 minutes.
 

Do you understand? The idea is baby steps. You can do anything in small increments. 10 minutes of dusting the bookshelves is better than no dusting at all. One healthy meal a day is better than none. Sending a quick message to a friend is better than no contact whatsoever.
 

“Go big or go home” is one of the worst, most damaging sayings I know. Throw it out the window and introduce 5 or 10 minutes of change every day. A month from now, you won’t know yourself.
 

Picture by Fernando Jorge on unsplash.com


 

Things that keep you stuck #2: Trying to do too much

 

One of the things I often ask my clients to do, is to look for inspiration from historical figures. Almost every art, field of study or discipline has seen a few giants in the past, who achieved unimaginable triumphs or created great works of art.
 

There’s no doubt that they were great minds and strong characters – but they also had support. Most of these creators – men, mostly, because women weren’t supposed to be artists or inventors – relied on wives (or mothers) and/or servants to look after their every need.
 

A poet of the nineteenth century certainly laboured over their words, but d’you know what they didn’t do? Wash their owns clothes (or their dishes), cook their own meals, clean their homes, go to yoga, pick up the children from school, attend parent-teacher-conferences, go to the bake sale, buy fresh fruit and veg from the farmers market, …
 

I don’t mean to diminish their achievements. What I’m saying is that maybe you should stop feeling bad about yourself for not composing operas when even Mozart, who often had financial problems, had a wife and servants to look after his many kids so that he could compose, conduct, rehearse, and generally be a full-time musical genius.
 

What can you do now, in the 21st century?

  1. Radically simplify your life and kick out anything that isn’t absolutely necessary for your survival or your family’s.
  2. Look for help. I don’t know why it’s so frowned upon these days to get a cleaner at least once or twice a month. It doesn’t cost an arm and a leg and it is very much worth the reduction of your stress levels.

We may be used to multi-tasking by now, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for us. The more you simplify and focus, the more those few focused activities will thrive. As a bonus, you’ll feel at peace and good about yourself.
 
 

Things that keep you stuck #3: Responding with more control instead of more ease

 

Life is unpredictable and even the most organised people sometimes face unforeseen circumstances. When things go wrong, or even if they simply don’t go the way we expected them to go, our first impulse is to tighten our grip. We try to regain a sense of security by controlling things. Nine times out of ten, these attempts fail spectacularly.
 

Why is responding with control a bad idea?

  1. It adds stress. Unforeseen events are unsettling enough on their own. Rather than calming us, trying to exert control just serves to make us more tense and add more pressure.
  2. It’s futile. Life has a habit of being larger than any single one of us. We can’t possibly control its eventualities. Sh*t happens, as they say. Imagine you’re swimming in a sea and suddenly there are a number of mighty, rolling waves. Are you going to frantically scream at the sea to be calm, or would it be better to allow yourself to be carried up and down by the waves until they subside?
  3. It redirects your focus. The only thing – or rather, person – you have control over, is yourself. You can’t dictate all the circumstances but you can choose your reaction to them. That’s what you should focus on; that’s the area that deserves your effort and energies.

Instead, when you feel like life has dropped you into the quicksand, let go. Respond with ease. Depending on the situation, do whatever is appropriate out of the following:

  • look where you can help
  • look after yourself
  • see the funny side
  • be prepared to be flexible and change your plans.

Life happening is the norm, rather than the exception. Learn to “ride out the waves” with grace and ease, and you may eventually even find joy in the process.