3 Reasons Why You Need A To-Don’t List



Hands up who’s sick of to-do lists? If you haven’t tried them – don’t. I have actually suggested them in the past, but only ever in specific circumstances. In general I think to do lists are keeping us in a hamster wheel forever, reminding us that the work is never done, that we’re always on the go, and adding to our stress.

Your mission is to learn how to use a To-Don’t List for the benefit of your passions and your peace of mind.

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Task 1: Avoid the pitfalls


A list of things that you shouldn’t do? Sounds great. There is, however, the danger that you’ll inadvertently set yourself up for failure if you’re not careful.

General wisdom is not to focus on what you don’t want. The way energy and the law of attraction works is that you’ll attract what you give most energy to. So the danger is to put a lot of energy into this list, which will lead to you getting things you’re trying to avoid.

to-don't list

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Task 2: Why you need a To-Don’t List


So why create a To-Don’t List at all? There are a few good reasons.

  1. It helps you to set boundaries. You may know that you don’t want to spend time with a certain annoying colleague (or even relative). One day you’re overwhelmed, lots going on, and they spring an invite on you. Before you know it, you’ve said yes.
  2. It nudges you when you’re about to go wrong. How many times do we end up focusing on what doesn’t light us up? If you have in writing what you definitely don’t want to waste energy on, you’ll remember much more easily when it’s about to happen, and can course-correct.
  3. It helps you make decisions. If you write down things you don’t want to spend time on, every time you’re faced with a “do I go to that event/meeting/workshop” kind of question, check it against your To-Don’t List. If it resembles any item there, use your time for something that lights you up instead.

7 Layers Of Truth: How To Be Joyful In 2020


Photo by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on unsplash.com


In recent months, our world seems to be in a permanent state of crisis. There’s a global pandemic, people have lost their jobs and incomes, there’s civil unrest in several countries. In the US and elsewhere, Black people and their allies stand up to demand they finally be treated equally and fairly. Don’t even get me started on the climate crisis and the acute emergency it creates in certain nations that are quite literally sinking into the ocean as we speak.

There were a few common themes in the conversations I’ve had in recent weeks. My paying clients, but also friends and Wild Spirits I simply chatted to all said that they feel preoccupied and overwhelmed. Many find it hard to concentrate on their work or even their passion and their joy. Others are simply exhausted from the struggles and the emotional burden of what they’ve been going through. Almost everyone feels like it’s not the time and place to prioritise their passion and focus on joy.

Let’s try and unpack this subject, because there are many different layers to it. I call them the 7 truths, and like Salome’s veils I’d like to peel them off one by one.

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1. Being joyful doesn’t mean you don’t care


Let’s get the big one out of the way first. Depending on where you live in the world, you may witness different injustices and raw suffering. It’s hard for a compassionate human to look the other way, and thankfully, that’s not what’s required.

It doesn’t help those who are suffering one bit if you suffer along with them. You can be an activist if you want to, or sign petitions, educate yourself and others, and still have joy in your life. It’s not all or nothing. In fact, your being joyful contributes to improving things, so it’s the opposite of being selfish (more about that later).

2. Examine your underlying beliefs about passions


There’s a subtle judgment in our thinking that times like these don’t leave space for passions. That’s the belief we all have soaked up from our society all our lives and which has taken root deep in our subconsious. It’s the belief that passions and joy are trivial things, luxuries, which you’re only allowed to pay attention to once the “important tasks” are done.

You may not consciously believe this, but trust me, you have internalised it on some level. Rather than denying it, it’s far more constructive to become conscious of this fact, and openly oppose the belief by deliberately doing what lights you up – even if you have to nudge yourself.

3. Certain things will take over your time temporarily


This is something the multi-passionates/scanners amongst us are experts at already. The rest of ye can learn from us: There are always times when certain things take over. If you have a new baby, you’ll spend most of your time and effort on that little human for at least a year or two. When there’s a global pandemic, it’s bound to soak up a lot of attention and emotional energy.

Muti-passionates usually have one or two dominant passions at a time, and we all need to learn not to feel guilty about the others during those times. It’s what it truly means to “go with the flow”. The trick is to allow the dominance of one theme, whilst still gently reminding yourself to do other important things as well. If you will, it’s learning to successfully multitask without driving yourself nuts.

4. You need to preserve your energy


If current events or a cause you believe in take up a lot of attention, it’s easy to lose yourself in it and completely overdo it, especially if you are a caring person and/or personally affected by what’s going on.

Wild Spirits tend to care deeply, so I’ve had a lot of conversations recently with folks who are exhausted, physically and emotionally. To avoid having this happen to you, or to start bouncing back if you’re already there, the first step is to remember your basic physical needs. Make sure you eat regularly (and reasonably well) and sleep regular and sufficient hours. It’s amazing at the difference these things can make after only a few days.

5. You need Self-Care and downtime


After the emergency rescue of No. 4, you need to go a step further and remember that you’re not a machine. You need time to recharge. After all, you’re no good to anyone if you’re burning out or having a breakdown, physically and/or emotionally.

Remember to take time away from everything, even those you love. You need times when nothing is required of you. This could be rest, a walk in nature, a bubble bath, an evening with a book. Also make sure to stay away from media – including social – during those times. It’s of vital importance to switch off regularly, in the literal as well as the figurative sense.

6. Connection is more important than ever


We’ve been told to isolate, but that doesn’t mean we need to be lonely. In some countries we’re allowed to meet friends again. Use these opportunities to connect, have a heart-to-heart, deep conversations in person, hugs. If you’re still in lockdown, reach out to people via phone or Skype/Zoom and if you live with family or a partner, make the most of that, too. Rather than just living next to each other, be sure to have meaningful conversations as well as fun times doing things you love together.

joyful in 2020

Joy in 2020. Photo by Noah Silliman on unsplash.com


7. Your Joy in 2020 can help heal the world


Lastly, understand that you contribute to the healing of the world, not only by actively participating and getting heard, but also by your energy. This is why it’s important – not just to you, but to everyone – that you consciously take time to focus on your passion.

When your soul is lit up, it’ll radiate the highest possible vibration, joy and love. Look around you: isn’t that what the world needs most right now? This does not mean to spiritually bypass and ignore the very real issues at hand. Like I said before, it’s not all or nothing. You can be responsible and active and do your part, and still find time to connect to the joy of your passion or passions.

In fact, it’s not just possible, it’s necessary. This is our task right now, and it’s not easy, but learning it is possibly the most important survival skill for 2020. Not only will it help us survive, but it’ll make us thrive, and that energy helps to heal the world.

2 Reasons Why You Repel Money



I’ve done a lot of work on my own money mindset and have worked with other people on theirs. One thing I notice is that some people have it a lot harder than others, and not because of circumstances like being born poor. No, some people just seem to repel money.

You mission today is to learn why you might be struggling financially and how to start turning the situation around.

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Reason No. 1: Stress


My friend Dr. Valerie Rein once wrote: “Stress is teflon to abundance.” That’s a great way of putting it.

The following may sound a little hippie and out there, but bear with me, please. The thing is that energetically, stress is the exact opposite of abundane. Think about abundance or receiving – imagine you’re playing charades and are supposed to mime “abundance”. Try it! I bet you made an expansive gesture, one of opening up.

Stress does the opposite: it makes you tense, literally makes your muscles contract. That’s why it’s not conducive to receiving anything.

To become more abundant, take steps to eliminate stress from your life as much as possible.

why you repel money

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Reason No. 2: Ignorance and mindset


To open the door to abundance, you must know about basics such as budgeting and low-level investing. Money likes to go where it’s valued, so get educated.

Nobody teaches us about budgeting or investing in school, so we have some catching up to do. Besides, most of us are brought up with very negative money beliefs we need to disable, which is another reason why you repel money. At the very least, read some good books about personal finance. Get Coaching or do a course.

You need to re-train your brain and mindset, and you also need to learn about budgeting. The best thing about it is that along the way you’ll realise that money is actually fun.

Why You Should Go Against Your Intuition



Usually, I’ll tell you to go by your instincts: “Do what feels right,” “do what makes sense to you,” “your intuition won’t lead you wrong.”

That’s true, and yet there are times when we need to leap before we can see the net that’ll catch us. It’s a basic principle of life – you could call it the backwards principle.

Your mission today is to learn how to stop waiting to priorise your passion, invest money, and do anything you want to.

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Task 1: The “backwards principle” – against your intuition


Full disclosure, this isn’t actually a term. I just invented it, because I think it’s fitting. I’m going to illustrate it with an example that’s going to make it very clear.

If you were trying to get fit, you wouldn’t say: “Once I’m fit, then I’ll go and exercise,” would you? No. You know that in order to create strength, you need to train your muscles and practice your technique.

Of course it’ll get easier once you’ve got a basic level of fitness, but to get there, you need to start before you feel like it. You start because you trust it’ll happen. And you do it against your intuition.

The same goes for everything else.

against your intuition

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Task 2: Trust first

Here are a few examples of where it pays off to trust first.

  • Investment. Money gurus teach that you need to start with a habit of saving and investing when you’re still broke. Tiny amounts will do. It flexes your wealth-building muscles (also, compound interest is a thing!).
  • Time for passions. You’ll never have enough time. Stop believing your own stories. When you have lots on your plate, that’s exactly when you need to start radically making time and prioritising your passion. This will shift your life to create more space.
  • Any endeavor. Starting a business, learning a language – you’ll never be ready and the circumstances will never be right. Start at the worst time. Once you make that decision and take action, the universe will move.

Prioritise Your Passion When You’re No Good At It?



Have you seen the article about the 107-year-old woman whose art has carried her through the 2nd pandemic of her lifetime? When I saw this, I thought: ‘To everyone who still thinks my work is fluffy and feel-good, read this.’

You may say: “But her work is in the Smithsonian and I’m an amateur”. At which I’ll point out that the Smithsonian didn’t save her life, her passion did.

Your mission is to learn why it matters how good you are at your passion – and why it doesn’t.

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Task 1: Learn why it doesn’t matter


You should prioritise your passion because everything is valid, right? The answer is: Well, yeah, but there’s a lot more to this. Here’s why it doesn’t matter if you’re a beginner, or just no good at your passion:

  • We’re taught to value only things that bring money. This is destroying our world and our souls.
  • Valuing joy says that you matter enough to make an effort for.
  • It’s scary but incredibly freeing to allow yourself to just, well, suck at something.

prioritise passion

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Task 2: Why it does matter


There are ways in which it’s important how good you are at it when you prioritise your passion. It’s just not what you think.

When you’re passionate about something, it follows naturally that you care. You want to do it justice, whether it’s a field of study, an art or craft, or a sport. Expecting to be a pro is disheartening, but working on improving yourself can be the most enriching experience.

It’s human nature – actually, nature’s nature, too – to constantly learn and grow. Compete not with others, but with your own past performance.

It doesn’t matter if you’re new at your passion or have done it for decades and are just not particularly talented. As long as you keep improving, you’re doing it right. Doing this keeps the passion alive and aligns you with your life purpose.