4 Things You Need To Stop Doing


 

Abstract:
 

If you want… well, anything you haven’t achieved already, then you’ll need to shape up and do something differently. Your life time’s ticking away, after all.
 

It can be hard to spot the self-defeating behaviours we all engage in, because they’re so universal. Therefore, your mission today is to learn the 4 things you need to stop doing in order to prioritise your passion, find your purpose, and be outrageously happy.

 
 

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1. Stop trying to do it all

 

We’re more connected than ever before. This means no trend escapes our notice. Stop following every latest nutrition fad, exercise trend, and trying to catch every last movie and TV show, whilst being the perfect spouse/ parent.
 

As long as you eat with variety, move your body occasionally, and spend quality time with your loved ones, you’re good. Declutter your schedule and slow the heck down.
 
 

2. Stop comparing yourself

 

Another result of our connected times is that we see more of other people than we’ve ever done before, but we see them online, in pictures and videos that are selected to show only the best sides of everyone. You don’t have to be like anyone other than yourself.
 

stop doing

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3. Stop spending your life online

 

If you’re not into social media, you’re not off the hook. TV is just as bad. Whether it’s the internet, the latest talk show or Instagram, you waste away in front of them. This is an addiction and very hard to break, but start by banishing your phone from your bedroom. Take back your time and your life and do what lights you up instead.
 
 

4. Stop barking up the wrong tree

 

You’re working hard, you’re doing evening classes, you’re a member of a book club. That’s great, but when was the last time you checked whether these things are important to you? Our interests change.
 

Make sure you don’t waste time on something that doesn’t light you up.

At A Loss? Ask The Right Questions


 

Abstract:
 

A lot of what makes someone a good Coach is asking the right questions. We often think we want something or have a problem, but really the underlying problem or the thing we truly want is something else entirely.
 

Questions can reveal what’s hidden. Obviously, it’s easiest if a trained Coach does this, but if you don’t have one in your pocket right now, you might find the following useful.
 

Your mission is to learn how to find the questions you need to ask in order to move forward.
 
 

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Task 1: Get to the root of it

 

Especially when we’re at a loss or overwhelmed, or simply lacking enthusiasm, we usually can’t see the wood for the trees. It would be counterproductive to ask ourselves to come up with a lofty future perspective on top of everything else.
 

Instead, start with the here and now and ask yourself questions such as:

  • What am I feeling right now?
  • Or even: How does my body feel right now?

Follow this up in whatever way is appropriate, for example if the answer is: “Tense”, ask: “Where is the tension?” -“What would lessen it?”
 

At a loss

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Task 2: The right questions for the present

 

The questions in Task 1 were designed to fully bring you into the present moment. Now that you’re here, so to speak, you can dig deeper. Obviously, there are a myriad of possibilities when you’re at a loss, but here are a few options to inspire you:

  • How do I feel about this present emotion?
  • What would I like to feel?
  • What do I need to do to bring about this feeling?
  • If I could have one wish right now, what would it be?
  • How much will all this matter a year from now?
  • What could I focus on that’ll make a difference to my life?
  • Who can I talk to about this?

Listen to your answers and take it from there.

Set Some DUMB Goals


 

Abstract:
 

Happy New Year and decade! I hope you’ve arrived well in the 20s. I have, and I suspect it’s going to be a rocking, sexy, amazing decade.
 

To make sure of that, I’ve set some goals. Now, you’ve all heard of “SMART” goals, but I’m going to suggest you go against the grain. Your mission today is to set some DUMB goals and then set yourself up for achieving them.
 
 

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Task 1: Learn about DUMB goals

 

“Smart” goals have been invented for a corporate environment. The method is reasonable and rather uninspiring. In recent years, there’s been a cheeky counter-movement in the Coaching community, called DUMB goals:
 

Daring – Forget being realistic. Reach for the stars.
Uplifting – If it doesn’t give you butterflies, what’s the point?
Magnificent – Bigger goals inspire more than small ones.
Brave – Life’s too short to play it safe.
 
 

Task 2: Set the right goals for you

 

This is meant to give you goals that excite you, rather than feel like a chore. For example, in the category “health”, you may have set the SMART goal to reduce your body fat by 5% in six months. A DUMB goal might be to eat and move in a way that makes you burst with energy and feel your best instead.
 

Go through each of the categories: Health, Finances, Job/Business, Relationships, Spirituality, Passions, and audit the goals you set. If needed, spruce them up with the DUMB principles.
 

dumb goals

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Task 3: Make it fun

 

You know I always tell you to do the first step within 72 hours. I’m still telling you this, but now your challenge is to find something to do that inspires you, rather than just some mechanical first step. Look at each goal and determine something you could do that’s fun, something you’ll look forward to.
 

Write down these first steps and schedule them today, tomorrow, or the day after. If it’s not in your calendar, it isn’t real! And then get going.

Get Ready For The 20s – Part II


 

Abstract:
 

If you’ve missed part I, please take some time to do this first; you’ll need your results from it! This week, your mission is to set yourself up for the best decade of your life so far.
 

Looking ahead doesn’t have to be mere wishful thinking. A significant part of the future is down to you, and that’s reassuring to know, but it’s also a big responsibility. Here’s how to stack the deck in your favour.
 
 

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Task 1: Housecleaning

 

No, don’t worry, I’m not going to send you for the duster! This is about you, your inner workings. To get started, please take a few minutes to review your results from part I.
 

Now ask yourself what you would like to leave behind in the 2010s. Write these things on a piece of paper, then tear it up and burn it. Or take a walk, pick up a stone and speak the things you’d like to leave behind into the stone, then hurl it into a brook or river.
 
 

Task 2: Call in the 20s

 

It’s time for the 20s! Get comfortable, take a deep breath, and take notes on the following questions, one by one:
 

  1. How would you like to feel in the coming decade?
  2. What passions would you like to prioritise?
  3. What do you want to focus most of your time and energy on?
  4. Who would you like to spend more time with?
  5. What would you like to say about your decade on the eve of 2030?

the 20s

Photo by Cris Trung on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Get specific

 

Now it’s time to set goals. Ask yourself what you’ll have to do and achieve in the coming year, in order to create this decade the way you just decided in Task 2.
 

Set up to three goals for the year each in the areas of Health, Finances, Job/Business, Relationships, Spirituality, Passions. Then determine the first step for each of these goals and schedule to take it within the next 72 hours.

Obstacles: Just A Test, Or A Sign It’s The Wrong Path?


 

Abstract:
 

When you work on your passion or your purpose and obstacles show up, some self-help experts say it’s a test of how serious you are. Others tell you to go with the flow, and if it doesn’t flow anymore, it’s a sign that your goal wasn’t meant for you in the first place.
 

So what’s true? The answer is, as usual: Both. The tricky bit is learning to know when you need to dig in your heels, and when you should quit.
 

Your mission is to learn how to tell the difference.
 
 

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Task 1: Check your alignment

 

Whether it’s a passion, a goal or your life purpose: If they are really yours, then they’ll be aligned with your chosen lifestyle.
 

Example: You have a family with young kids, and the passion you’re working on involves a lot of travel to distant places. It’s certainly possible, but if you value lots of quality time with your children, it might not be the best match for you.
 

Ask yourself how you want to live. On your own, with a partner, with a family? Do you want to stay put or try out living in different places or countries? Choose your goals and purpose accordingly.
 

obstacles

Photo by Bart Larue on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Feel your way around the obstacle

 

This one requires you to know yourself fairly well. Take a few deep breaths and relax. Then think of your situation. Don’t dwell on the obstacles too much, but on your goal, the passion you’re pursuing or the life purpose you’re trying to live.
 

Place your hand on your stomach. How do you feel inside? Does it feel scary, but exciting and expansive? Or is it a constrictive feeling, like a knot in your stomach or like you almost can’t breathe?
 

Your reaction gives you your answer. It’s almost always accurate. Fear is universal, but how this fear actually feels deep down, tells you if it’s worth sticking with your goal in spite of obstacles.