Are Your Dreams Really Your Own?


 

Abstract:
 

A major value in our modern society is individualism. Almost everyone will proudly proclaim that they’re their own person, free and independent of other people’s opinions.
 

This narrative is so central to our culture that it’s hard for us to recognise and acknowledge to what extent we really are influenced by others. Your mission today is to find out what your dreams are like without anybody else’s influence.
 
 

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Task 1: Examine your dreams

 

To do this, you must first of all come to terms with the fact that yes, you are a product of the society you grew up in. Realise this isn’t a bad thing; humans need other humans to survive and thrive.
 

Acknowledge this and realise which part of your dreams and goals may be influenced by society. This is not to eliminate them! It’s simply important to have clarity about the origins of what you wish for.
 

Some examples of society’s norms and the goals based on them are:

  • Loving one’s family above everything else.
  • Finding your passion and making it your living.
  • Getting married and having kids.
  • Advancing in your job.
  • Material possessions such as a house, car etc.

your dreams

Picture by Greg Rakozy on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Navigate the unfamiliar

 

Again, wanting these things isn’t a bad thing, nor does it make you uncool. To a certain extent, it’s part of being human. We’re social beings and much as our upbringing contradicts it, we do depend on the group to survive.
 

Rather, once you realise you really do want something, it becomes unimportant whether anyone else wants it or not. You become sure of yourself. You feel calm, centered, purposeful.
 

Finding your true dreams can feel very unfamiliar at first, so be patient with yourself! Here are a few questions you might ask to identify them:

  • If money was no object and everyone I love was perfectly taken care of, what would I do every day?
  • Where would I live?
  • Who would I live with, if anyone?
  • What passion(s) would I pursue?
  • How would I contribute to society?

The answers give you clues on what truly meaningful goals might look like for you.

A Beautiful 2021 (Part 2/2)


 

Abstract:
 

In Part 1 two weeks ago, we reviewed and let go of the previous year. There was a lot to do, as it’s been such a weird and challenging year in many ways. Now it’s time to set ourselves up for 2021.
 

Especially if you struggled in 2020, it’s not enough to just say “good riddance” because unprocessed feelings have a habit of coming to haunt us. May sure you have closed off 2020 before you get ready for the next year.
 

Your mission today is to set yourself up for a beautiful 2021.
 
 

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Task 1: What success means to you

 

I said in the last episode that achievement isn’t just worldly or financial success. Getting through challenging times or battling issues is an achievment, too. We all have different challenges in life, which is why it’s imporant for you to define what success means to you.
 

Material success isn’t a bad thing, by the way. Receiving lots of abundance is beautiful! What I’m saying is, it isn’t the only kind of success we should acknowledge.
 

With a view to 2021, take a piece of paper and write down what success you wish to have. If it is “only” recovery health-wise or financially, or mentally, then that’s absolutely fine. Nobody gets to judge this.
 

beautiful 2021

Photo by Gift Habeshaw on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: A beautiful 2021

 

Now it’s time to get down to business. Write down everything you wish to do and achieve this year. Make it concrete: don’t write “more money” but instead a specific amount you wish to make.
 

Then write down the first steps you need to take. You don’t have to plan out the whole thing, just focus on the first steps. If you’re struggling with your mental health, write down your coping strategies and support system. Make sure to create enough room for it. If you strive for material success, write down what you need to do first to make it happen.
 

Lastly, plan and schedule when you’ll take the very first step towards your goals. Put it in your calendar and get started.

Closing Off 2020 (Part 1/2)


 

Abstract:
 

I can already hear you say: Good riddance! Let’s just get rid of 2020 and move on.” Others question whether I should do a review at all.
 

I believe that it’s even more important in a challenging year like this one, to come to terms with it and close it off. That way, you can set yourself up for a beautiful 2021.
 

As always, this process has two parts: The 2020 review today and setting yourself up for 2021 in two weeks’ time (early January). Your mission today is to close off 2020 for yourself.
 
 

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Task 1: Define achievement

 

On social media, I’ve seen people question the need for a review of 2020 altogether. “Don’t ask me for my achievements – even getting through this year is an achievement!” they say.
 

My reply: Exactly.
 

We need to stop looking only at material “success” in terms of money or jobs. Struggling with physical or mental health is an achievement. Getting to the end of a challenging year like 2020 is an achievement. Please keep this in mind when you do Task 2.
 

closing off 2020

Photo by Gerd Altmann on pixabay.com


 

Task 2: Closing off 2020 – the year review

 

It’s time for the actual review. Please set aside some time, get comfortable and get something to write. The process is:
 

1. Write down what went well
There were definitely a few good things this year as well! Write it all down. Also remember Task 1 and include the fact that you have got this far.
 

2. Write down what didn’t go well
Get it all on paper and be sure to feel the feelings associated with these things. Feel the pain, the anger, the mourning, the frustration.
 

3. Let it go
Once you’re done with the “feeling” part, take the 2nd piece of paper and either burn it (be safe though!) or tear it up and throw it into a flowing water like a river. Feel it all being washed away or going up in smoke.

4 Things You Need To Stop Doing


 

Abstract:
 

If you want… well, anything you haven’t achieved already, then you’ll need to shape up and do something differently. Your life time’s ticking away, after all.
 

It can be hard to spot the self-defeating behaviours we all engage in, because they’re so universal. Therefore, your mission today is to learn the 4 things you need to stop doing in order to prioritise your passion, find your purpose, and be outrageously happy.

 
 

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1. Stop trying to do it all

 

We’re more connected than ever before. This means no trend escapes our notice. Stop following every latest nutrition fad, exercise trend, and trying to catch every last movie and TV show, whilst being the perfect spouse/ parent.
 

As long as you eat with variety, move your body occasionally, and spend quality time with your loved ones, you’re good. Declutter your schedule and slow the heck down.
 
 

2. Stop comparing yourself

 

Another result of our connected times is that we see more of other people than we’ve ever done before, but we see them online, in pictures and videos that are selected to show only the best sides of everyone. You don’t have to be like anyone other than yourself.
 

stop doing

Photo by Thought Catalog on unsplash.com


 

3. Stop spending your life online

 

If you’re not into social media, you’re not off the hook. TV is just as bad. Whether it’s the internet, the latest talk show or Instagram, you waste away in front of them. This is an addiction and very hard to break, but start by banishing your phone from your bedroom. Take back your time and your life and do what lights you up instead.
 
 

4. Stop barking up the wrong tree

 

You’re working hard, you’re doing evening classes, you’re a member of a book club. That’s great, but when was the last time you checked whether these things are important to you? Our interests change.
 

Make sure you don’t waste time on something that doesn’t light you up.

At A Loss? Ask The Right Questions


 

Abstract:
 

A lot of what makes someone a good Coach is asking the right questions. We often think we want something or have a problem, but really the underlying problem or the thing we truly want is something else entirely.
 

Questions can reveal what’s hidden. Obviously, it’s easiest if a trained Coach does this, but if you don’t have one in your pocket right now, you might find the following useful.
 

Your mission is to learn how to find the questions you need to ask in order to move forward.
 
 

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Task 1: Get to the root of it

 

Especially when we’re at a loss or overwhelmed, or simply lacking enthusiasm, we usually can’t see the wood for the trees. It would be counterproductive to ask ourselves to come up with a lofty future perspective on top of everything else.
 

Instead, start with the here and now and ask yourself questions such as:

  • What am I feeling right now?
  • Or even: How does my body feel right now?

Follow this up in whatever way is appropriate, for example if the answer is: “Tense”, ask: “Where is the tension?” -“What would lessen it?”
 

At a loss

Photo by Heleno Kaizer on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: The right questions for the present

 

The questions in Task 1 were designed to fully bring you into the present moment. Now that you’re here, so to speak, you can dig deeper. Obviously, there are a myriad of possibilities when you’re at a loss, but here are a few options to inspire you:

  • How do I feel about this present emotion?
  • What would I like to feel?
  • What do I need to do to bring about this feeling?
  • If I could have one wish right now, what would it be?
  • How much will all this matter a year from now?
  • What could I focus on that’ll make a difference to my life?
  • Who can I talk to about this?

Listen to your answers and take it from there.