How To Stop Sabotaging Yourself


 

Abstract:
 

Most of us have been there: We’d really love do something, and then never “get around to it”. It took me years to finally give up my soulless job and move to the West of Ireland. Some people say they’ll go travelling, or move to the countryside. Or they swear they’ll make their passion a priority.
 

The real reason why we’re not doing these things doesn’t come from the outside, it’s in the way we think. Your mission today is to recognise your unhelpful patterns of thinking and turn them around so you stop sabotaging yourself.
 
 

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Task 1: Break the habit

 

You’ve heard of “you are what you think”, and that’s true, but what you are comes largely from what you do, how you act. And that’s what’s directly influenced by your thinking.
 

Here are a few examples of thought habits:

  • Thought: Rich/successful people are just lucky. Truth: Some are, but a lot of people create their own success.
  • Thought: The circumstances aren’t right (yet). Truth: They’ll never be right, so stop waiting. People have achieved great things in the most unfavourable circumstances.
  • Thought: I’m not educated/qualified/skilled enough to do this. Truth: By thinking like this, you’re sabotaging yourself. You learn by doing, and can study along the way. Start before you’re ready.

 

sabotaging yourself
 

Task 2: Get unstuck

 

It’s important first to recognise that your thinking is what’s keeping you stuck. This is important because you’re essentially giving your power away. Now that you’ve realised this, it’s time to take it back.

  • Decide that you’ll do that thing you’ve been meaning to, right now, today. No more postponing.
  • Take the first step. You guessed it, you don’t get to postpone that either. Do it today.
  • Enlist help and support (such as a course or Coaching), but don’t postpone the first two points until after you’ve done this. Make the decision, take the first step, and then learn as you go.

Do It For The Love Of It


 

Abstract:
 

Earlier this year, I started learning Croatian and people couldn’t understand. Was I going out with someone from Croatia? Doing business there?
 

None of these applied. I just did it for the sheer, wild joy of learning and my love of languages. People didn’t get it because these aren’t proper “reasons” in their minds.
 

The funny thing is that I’m now moving to Croatia, but that’s not what I was planning all those months ago when I decided to sign up for the language course.
 

Your mission today is to recognise our programming, and find something to do for the sake of joy.
 
 

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Task 1: Spot the phony beliefs

 

Remember: Beliefs are things we think are true, when actually they’re just a belief. They’re hard to spot, especially when it’s a belief that’s shared by most of society.
 

This one is practically universal, and it basically says that a “good” reason must be practical and tangible in some way. Joy isn’t taken seriously.
 

Why is this relevant? Because we all have this belief ingrained in us subconsciously, and it’s sabotaging our ability to prioritise what lights us up.
 

For The Love Of It

Photo by Frank Busch on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Do it for the love of it

 

When I say to prioritise passions, it’s easy to get people to agree with the concept. What they don’t get is what priority actually means.
 

Lots of people are good at doing what lights them up. Making more time for your passion is great, kudos to you. But the reason they need my support is that to actually dare prioritise the thing that gives you joy, is an act of rebellion. It exposes you to all sorts of judgment.
 

Professional artists, musicians etc are often not taken seriously. But if your passion is “only” your hobby – well, don’t you dare prioritise it. Work and income are the gods we worship!
 

Your task is to find something to do just for the love of it. If you do make money with your passion, find something else to also give priority to, to reinforce the new belief that joy is indeed worth the effort.

Too Uncomfortable To Leave Your Comfort Zone?


 

Abstract:
 

Some weeks ago, I argued that it depends on your circumstances whether you need to push yourself out of your comfort zone, or actually get comfortable in the first place.
 

I’d like to go a little deeper on that last part. I think it’s a widespread phenomenon that we’re just too busy, overwhelmed, or stressed to even consider doing something daring – such as, you know, prioritising a passion!
 

Your mission today is to create a comfort zone you’ll be able to leave.
 
 

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Task 1: What makes you uncomfortable?

 

Here’s a list of things that might make you uncomfortable; simply take what applies to you and disregard the rest.
 

1. Sleep
This is the most overlooked bit. Sleep requirements vary from person to person; anything from 5 to 9 hours is normal. Find yours and stick to it (there can be fairly dire consequences if you neglect this in the long run).
 

2. Overwhelm
Are you always bogged down by things you need to do and/or places you need to be, chores and meet-ups? By the way, what constitutes “too much” is entirely up to you. If you need a lot of recharging time, prune your obligations.
 

3. Unresolved issues
You might be uncomfortable because you carry trauma you never addressed, or deal with a physical illness and never go to the doctor. It’s time to give your mind, soul, and body the attention they deserve.
 

4. Lack of BEing
You’re not a human doing. Try to spend 15 minutes a day doing nothing. I’ve issued this challenge before, and I’m repeating it: try it for a week and see what it does!
 

uncomfortable

Photo by Paige Cody on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Get uncomfortable in the right ways

 

Really, the first task falls under basic self care. You’d make the effort for loved ones without blinking an eyelid; aren’t you worth the same dedication?
 

Now you can look to leave the mental or emotional comfort zone by doing new things or shifting your focus to prioritising your passion(s). This is where you get Coaching, join a women’s group, or reach out to a teacher or mentor. You’ll find yourself and your priorities through interacting with others.

4 Ways To Get Into Action Mode


 

Abstract:
 

It’s no secret that I adore Steven Pressfield. If you haven’t read The War of Art, Do the Work or his latest, Turning Pro yet, go and get them! They’re huge eye-openers and very actionable loving kicks-in-the-butt to get you going on what lights you up.
 

There’s one sentence in particular from Turning Pro that I’ve underlined five times in my copy: “The sure sign of an amateur is he has a million plans and they all start tomorrow.” Hands up who knows this phenomenon?
 

Your mission today is to break out of inertia and get into action mode.
 
 

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Task 1: Understand it’s not about how good you are

 

Here’s what “pro” doesn’t mean: It doesn’t mean that you have to make your passion your profession or business. You needn’t earn your living with it. Whilst this is definitely possible – and if it’s your dream, I’m cheering you on all the way – it’s not what “turning pro” refers to.
 

What does it refer to? Your attitude. It’s what I mean when I tell you to prioritise your passion. We have usefulness drummed into us from childhood, so if something isn’t any “use” in terms of making money, it automatically becomes an afterthought.
 

This idea is destroying our happiness.
 

Action Mode

Photo by nikidinov on pixabay.com


 

Task 2: Get into action mode

 

Your passion is what lights you up and also lights the way to your purpose. It deserves a “pro” attitude. Here are four ways to get there:
 

  1. Calculate how much time you spend on unnecessary things every day (social media, pleasing others, things you’d rather not do or could outsource). Eliminate these things.
  2. Get coaching. Seriously. Nothing gets you into action mode faster.
  3. Do one thing for your passion today. Just one. But it has to be today. As a bonus, schedule this step in your calendar.
  4. Find others who share your passion.

 

Make a decision, right now, that you’re a pro at your passion(s). And then start.

Find “Your Thing” Through Alignment


 

Abstract:
 

Let me start by asking a few hard questions.
 

Are you living, or just existing? Is life an exciting journey with you at the steering wheel, or are you drifting along and only hope you’ll arrive somewhere unscathed?
 

How about decisions: Are you good at making them? Do you sometimes worry if you’re on the right path in life? Do you wish there was some guidance, a way to know for sure?
 

Today’s mission is for you to establish a surefire guiding system through your life, and towards finding “your thing”.
 
 

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Task 1: What matters to you?

 

The magical guiding system is called your values. Now, unlike your beliefs, which are acquired throughout your life and can be changed, values are at the core of your being. They are who you are at the deepest level.
 

Start by looking at a list of values such as this one, and write down those that spontaneously speak to you. You can add others that aren’t on the list.
 

Then narrow down the list until you’re left with ca. 5 top values.
 
 

Task 2: Practise alignment

 

Get comfortable and take stock of your life. Is it aligned with your values? You can look at things such as your job, your relationships, the way you live, where you live and with whom. Also include your passion(s).
 

Now determine which adjustments you need. Being out of alignment with your values can have serious consequences, so do whatever it takes to fix any issues.
 

your thing

Photo by Suju on pixabay.com


 

Task 3: Find “your thing”

 

This task is about making it a habit to check everything against your values. Not sure if you should accept the job offer? Check if the work is aligned with your values. Facing a difficult decision? Check which option is more aligned with your values.
 

Values are a reliable compass through life. This applies to your passions as well, and if you use it consistently, it’ll light the way to “your thing” – your purpose.