Never Fail At Time Management Again

fail at time management
 

Here’s the thing.
 

I can’t possibly be the only person who’s spent entirely too many years trying and failing to organise my time and my life? It went something like this: In regular intervals, I’d resolve that the slacking was to end, and came up with some amazing schedule for my life. It was based on whatever time management guru’s book I had read last.
 

Then I’d get to work, and boy did I get productive for a few days or weeks. Then inevitably I’d slide back into inertia. I just couldn’t stay motivated and felt guilty, especially because I seemed to be surrounded by superhumans who somehow got everything done, from demanding jobs to social activities, exercise, and family life. Only I seemed to fail at time management.
 

It took me altogether too long to realise that most of those “superhumans” were just as lost as I was, and never got everything done they wanted to do. Then I became a coach and magiacally learned how to get my shit together! -Err, no. But I did learn a few things, and these days I’m fairly happy with how I handle the “time of my life”.
 
 

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Letting go of guilt

 

I’m mentioning this first, because it’s the hardest thing. You need to let go of the “I suck” feeling! Even clients I’ve coached for weeks or months, still fall into this trap. It shocks me every time, because after working in personal development for going on 20 years, 15 of which as a coach, I’m simply no longer used to the harsh negativity that we’re surrounded with.
 

People see the world as bad. And since they’re part of the world, they judge themselves harshly, too.
 

Short of dragging every last person who reads this into one of my coaching programs, I’m a little helpless. Should I beg: “Please stop beating yourself up. You’re not a failure”?
 

Perhaps it’s more helpful to show you how this negative self-image is created. If you get angry about it, maybe that’ll give you energy to fight it.

  • The news and media you consume are heavily biased towards negativity. That’s what sells, because it feeds into our own genetic negativity bias.
  • Advertising is literally built on the message: Here’s what’s wrong with you, now buy my product/service and it’ll fix you. This goes for everything from clothes to cosmetics to, yes, Coaching. It hurts me to say this, but my own industry is very guilty of this. Ugh.
  • Through the internet, especially social media, we are connected to more people than ever. And since everyone shows themselves from their best side online, we’re bombarded by images of perfection that give us the impression that lots of people have perfect lives.

Do you see? The deck is stacked against us. We try to keep up, but we’ve been set up for failure.
 

fail at time management
 

Why you fail at time management

 

To recap: You’ve been force-fed the worst of humanity through media. At the same time, you have been shown all the best achievements of your fellow humans, creating the impression that you could – and should – do it all and be happy about it.
 

Now you set out on this doomed quest, over-schedule yourself and read about a new time management system that’ll allow you to cram even more into your schedule.
 

Is it any wonder you fail and fall off the wagon? There’s something in you – call it your Higher Self, God, the Universe – that’ll protect you by making you fail at time management. You, with your above-mentioned negativity conditioning, respond by feeling terrible.
 

Please understand this, it’s important! You fail because you cannot succeed. Yes, there are a few people who seem to get everything done. Unfortunately, they also often have major health problems, don’t sleep, are on medication, or are deeply unhappy. That’s because humans are simply not meant to live this way.
 

time management
 

How to set yourself up for success

 

To stop oscillating between super-organised and a near-vegetative state, you need to drop your unrealistic expectations. This also involves giving society the middle finger, so to speak.
 

Here’s how you can achieve this:
 

For at least a week, monitor the way you think and speak about yourself. Interrupt any negativity or self-criticism by apologising to yourself and then immediately thinking of something positive about yourself.
 

Get a calendar, but forget about scheduling every minute of every day.
 

Instead, get into the habit of opening your calendar ever morning to look at your day and decide on 1 or 2 priorities for this day. You can probably think of 10 more things you “must” do, but remember what happened when you tried to schedule it all? Exactly. So schedule 2 to focus on. Everything else is icing.
 

Schedule downtime. You heard me. I know it’s weird to schedule something that isn’t an activity, but it’s important. Make room for not doing anything productive.
 

Schedule your passions. Remember what I said about scheduling every minute of every day? Don’t squeeze in your passions between other things. Leave plenty of space around them.
 

I will almost guarantee that you’ll feel a lot more motivated within a week or two. If you’re still struggling, cut down on your activities even more. Let go of things, say “no”. As you normalise your new, much more realistic expectations, you’ll feel content, even happy – and it’ll get ever easier to do the things you really want to do.
 

What Passion Has To Do With Money


 

Abstract:
 

People who know that I support wild spirits to prioritise their passion and find their unique life purpose, are often surprised when they find out that I also have a program called Wild Money. They wonder how these things go together.
 

Those who do think they know what the connection is between passion and money, usually get it wrong: They think I must be working on getting people to make money with their passion. And whilst this is sometimes part of my programs, it’s not their main aim at all.
 

Your mission is to learn how passion and money really go together.
 
 

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Task 1: Against the grain

 

You’ll often hear me say that it’s fine if you want to make money with your passion, but you don’t have to. Your passion should play a central role in your life simply because it gives you joy. Even if you’re an amateur, a beginner, or bad at it, it deserves to be a priority – because it lights you up.
 

It’s not immediately obvious to what extent this goes against the grain in our society. We’re told to value money, worldly success, hard work and material gains. And here I am propagating joy.
 

to do with money
 

Task 2: What passion has to do with money

 

The actual connection between passion and money lies in the truly revolutionary approach to life that I mentioned above. The focus shifts off material, outward success, and towards immaterial, inward things such as joy, passion, fulfilment and purpose.
 

What happens when you make that shift? As a rational person brought up with our society’s way of thinking, you’d expect that you’d be happy, but broke. Astonishingly, that’s not the case.
 

If you truly prioritise your joy, something strange happens in your life. There’s an expansion of space. Your heart opens, and so does your environment. Suddenly, there’s time. There’s also space for more love, luck, and success to flow in, and this includes monetary success.
 

Vlog 8: Mystical Autumnal Plitvice Lakes


 

Would you rather watch on YouTube?
 
 

Plitvice Lakes and the end of summer

 

A month of slowing down, settling in, friends, meet-ups – and a trip to one of the most breathtaking natural sites in all of Croatia: the Plitvice Lakes! Let me enchant you with their mystical beauty.
 

We’ve defintely arrived in autumn, even here in Croatia. The early September footage shows the last of the warm summer days, but by now the days are much shorter and the air has a bite to it, especially early in the morning here on my mountain. Go take a look!
 
 

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plitvice lakes


 

X Questions To Help You Find Your Purpose?


 

Abstract:
 

I read a lot of articles and books about purpose. It’s my specialty, after all! And while there is a lot of wisdom and insight in the coaching and mentoring world, some things grate a little.
 

One of them is the fact that people tend to use “passion” and “purpose” interchangeably. News flash, they’re not the same thing! Another is the many articles promising “X questions that help you find your purpose”.
 

Your mission today is to learn why this isn’t the way to find your unique life purpose, and what to do instead.
 
 

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Task 1: Why questions don’t help

 

First of all, questions are a good thing. Coaching involves asking a lot of questions. However, this happens in the context of a broader process, is always tailored to the individual, and can’t be reproduced in a handy list in an article.
 

One thing that can be found by questions is passions. Questions can help you jog your memory, make you think and feel towards the things that light you up.
 

But then, passions are things you do. They’re concrete, and therefore questions are a handy tool for finding them.
 

help you find your purpose
 

Task 2: How to find purpose

 

In a nutshell, purpose can’t be arrived at by asking questions and thinking about it. Jogging your memory won’t help you find your purpose, because it’s not about doing. It’s about being.
 

Your unique life purpose is the reason why you’re here on this planet. Ideally, your work should be aligned with your purpose, but there’s never just one thing you can do that expresses your purpose in life.
 

To find yours, I recommend radically prioritising your passion(s). Do a lot of what lights you up, and amplify that joy. This feeling, this vibration is where purpose lives, and over time, it’ll reveal itself to you.
 

If you’d like a shortcut and support with this process, I’m here to help! It’s what my signature program is designed to do.
 

How A Life Can Change In 7 Years

how a life can change
 

Seven is a magical number. Someone once told me that seven years is a full cycle in terms of life phases. I don’t if that’s true, but the idea sounds intriguing to me!
 

Today, I’ll look back 7 years to see exactly how much and in what ways my life has changed through a focus on passion and finding my purpose.
 

Before I start: I know, I know. Here I am talking about passions and purpose, and you may ask whether getting financial security and organising the practical things in life isn’t more important. To which I say:

  1. These things are all part of building a life of passion and purpose.
  2. At the same time, they’re worth nothing without passion and purpose.

 

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Flashback to 2014

 

Holy smokes, I just looked for a picture of myself in 2014. Are you ready?
 

how a life can change
 

This is the only picture I could find, and that’s so telling. Here’s what my life was like:

  • I was high-functioning but depressive.
  • I had isolated myself and used junk food as my consolation.
  • Consequently, I was overweight.
  • I worked in a soulless job that required insane hours.
  • I lived in a nice place but one I had no emotional attachment to.
  • No time or energy to focus on my coaching.
  • The only one of my passions I pursued was gaming.*

`*Honestly, it saved my life. The contact to and friendship with my gamer friends prevented me from becoming a hermit.
 
 

What did I do to change?

 

If you’re expecting a weight-loss story, then I’m sorry to disappoint. My story does involve weight loss, but that happened as a side effect, not because of any major focus on it. Instead, I’d like to list what I did to turn my life around.

  • I moved to a place my soul resonates with.
  • Quit the soulless job and got a work-from-home role.
  • Got lots of rest and took long walks.

When I was healed (only then!), I added:

  • Prioritised pursuing my passions above everything else.
  • Started working on my business.
  • Put the focus of my coaching on passion and purpose.
  • Began to work out again (as part of my passions).
  • Ate delicious food that made me feel alive.

butterfly
 

How a life can change

 

Looking over these lists, I’m in awe. I hardly recognise the woman on the picture above and I’m overcome with gratitude.
 

I got this close to living out my life in limbo.
 

So close to working for a living but not having a life.
 

Where do I even begin to describe the changes in my life? Let’s try and summarise them into categories:
 
 

Life and happiness

 

I spent five years working a lovely job from home. It left me plenty of energy to build up my Coaching and my second business, my first love: working with language as a teacher and proofreader. 1 ½ years ago, I quit the job and became full-time self employed.
 

Both my businesses happen 100% over the internet, so I’m location independent and can spend a few months a year in other places I love. This hasn’t been possible recently because of the pandemic, but it’s still very much on the cards.
 

I’m rested, relaxed, and happy. Nothing gets me to rush around anymore. I’ve also just moved to a mountain village close to the Croatian coast and the peace here is indescribable. At the same time, I’m still close enough to the city to see my friends regularly.
 

True, I’m no longer as slim as I got in the first rush of happiness after “waking up” to life. But I’m nowhere near overweight and still a good 17 kg (that’s nearly 3 st) lighter than I was in 2014!
 
 

Passions and purpose

 

My passions are front and centre in my life. This forms the foundation of the above – being successful, at peace and relaxed with no time pressure or financial worries. These things are the direct result of my decision to focus on the things that light me up: Music, piano, dancing, archery, literature, making videos, and of course, coaching.
 

My life purpose became clear only months into focusing on my passions. It had been there all along, but suddenly it jumped out at me and became so obvious, I wondered how I had missed it all these years. Subsequently I shifted my entire life to align with this purpose, and that’s the connection between passions, purpose, and the happiness I described in the previous section.
 

my new life
 

How you can change yours

 

Here’s the good news: It doesn’t take 7 years to accomplish this. in fact, most of the elements of my current happiness were in place 5-6 months after I had started changing my life. I have since repeated the process – in different ways, because every person’s life is a different story – with my clients, over and over.
 

Basically, it can be broken down to two steps:
 

The outside circumstances
This is your job, your media habits, your everyday life, and it’s about simplifying and downsizing. Don’t say you can’t because you have three kids – I promise you, it’s possible, and my clients prove it. If you don’t know how, talk to me and we’ll do it together!
 

The passion(s) focus
Prioritising your passion does not mean to start earning money with it. You can do that if you wish, but if your passion is something you just like to fool around with, or in my case, some things you’re not even particularly good at, it should simply be a priority because it gives you joy.
 

To learn this goes against all our society teaches, and it’s hard. Make no mistake. It’s a process, but it’s the most worthwhile endeavor you could undertake because your life is going to fall into place. At some point, things become easy. And easier. Suddenly, joy and bliss emerge where you least expected them.
 

Life will be unrecognisable.