I can practically hear your protest. “Oh come on. Nobody would kill off their passion. Don’t be silly.” But you see, I beg to differ.
This certainly doesn’t apply to everyone, at least not all the time, but most of us have been guilty of killing a goal or passion at least once in our lives. And I see too many people doing this habitually to stay quiet about it. The thing is, you might not even notice that you’re doing it in the first place.
What does killing a passion look like? How about these samples:
“I’m not a pro, my stuff is really amateurish.”
“I don’t have the time/money/talent.”
“If I didn’t have three kids / 40 pounds to lose / a bad back, I would do it.”
“My partner doesn’t want me to do xyz.”
“I’m too busy now, but once summer/winter is here / the kids are at university / xyz, I will get to it.”
“I’m way too old to begin. You really need to start as a child.”
They come disguised as valid reasons, but really they’re excuses. And they kill your passion, by preventing you from pursuing it and feeling the wild joy associated with doing what lights you up.
I’m here to tell you: It’s time to cut the cr*p and go for it. No, your job or family aren’t more important. You are more important, because a fulfilled, joyful you living your purpose is what your job or family need most.
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The excuses list
The above quotes are some example of what I refer to as “the excuses list”. It comes with a matching hand gesture, as if opening an old-fashioned scroll to read from it! I’m telling you this because the ability to laugh at ourselves goes a long way towards taking our own excuses a little less seriously. You see, they really aren’t reasons. They’re just what we allow to stand between ourselves and our passion.
If you set your mind to it, you can debunk every one of these excuses. For example, I have tendonitis which prevents me from swinging a sword in my strong hand. But I still do archery and I still dance, and I also occasionally swing an axe in my left. Physical impairments can always be worked around – just look at the paralympics!
Time is relative, as I explained in many previous articles. And who says you need to be good at something to enjoy it? If you think you’re too old, remember Grandma Moses started painting in her 80s.
As for deferring your passion for the sake of your spouse or children: Ask them if they want you to deny yourself the thing you love doing, of if they’d prefer a happy, fulfilled mum or partner. Once you think about it, the answer is so obvious that you don’t even have to ask, isn’t it?
Lack of money? There’s an easy fix for that. Don’t take my word for it, just try it and join the others who’ve all made at least twice the cost of the program back within the two months it takes to complete it.
Finally, don’t do this journey on your own. It doesn’t have to be me you sign up with. I do specialise in passions and priorities, but really any trained and experienced Coach can help you with this. If there’s someone you resonate with, I’ll be the first to cheer you on!
Historically, human beings have never done things on their own. Chores, crafts, expeditions, art were all undertaken jointly. Traditional societies were much more communal than our disconnected, anonymous lives today. We have made a lot of progress, but having lost this support can really hinder us.
Therefore, it’s important we use the new support structures our modern society offers. There are groups for almost everything, both online and offline – just look around, google it, talk to people, go to gatherings! And then there’s the whole industry of advice, mentoring, and coaching. You’ll find something that suits you, and it’s vital that you accept this support. It’s in your nature as a human being, so claim it and use it.
The time is now! Circumstances will never be perfect. Don’t kill your passion – go for it, set that goal, and then find a way. There’s always a way, as long as you’re determined not to let excuses stop you anymore.