Feelings Are Your Wonder Weapon


 

Abstract:
 

When I woke up from years of a high-functioning depression, the biggest revelation was my ability to feel again. It was the most delicious thing in the world to experience my emotions.
 

Some people might argue that you should be careful to feel nothing but positive things because that’s what attracts good things into your life. It’s true that it does, but your experience won’t be ruined by what we think of as negative feelings. In fact, they’re both necessary.
 

Your mission today is to learn that feelings are your wonder weapon.
 
 

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Task 1: The good and the bad

 

People have been so influenced by the manifestation movement that they’re almost afraid to feel sadness or anger. They feel like failures for, well, feeling bad.
 

But that’s misplaced, because only the full caleidoscope of all your feelings will bring you into your full power. That’s probably why it resonated with me when I read: “Don’t try to feel better, just try to feel” in Glennon Doyle’s book Untamed.
 

When I cut myself off in my depression, I avoided the lows, but I also lost the heights of joy that my passions can bring me (I didn’t pursue most of my passions either back then). They’re like two sides of the same coin. Together, all these feelings are your wonder weapon.
 

feelings are your wonder weapon

Photo by Sasin Tipchai on pixabay.com


 

Task 2: Feelings without fear

 

Forget policing your thoughts. It’s possible to very much focus on the positive, but to do that, you need to also fully experience its opposite.
 

The paradox is that you more you resist anger, sadness etc., the more potent it gets. That’s why it feels so scary to allow them. Once the dam breaks, the flood can indeed be scary, but after that first wave, it becomes a lot more manageable.
 

When you allow your negative emotions, they lose their power. They sweep through you and then they go away, leaving you to focus on your passions and joy.

Who Are You Really?


 

Abstract:
 

All right, this is a philosophical question that’s as old as humanity. I want to look at it from a real-life perspective, because most people run around not actually knowing who they are.
 

If you ask someone: “Who are you really?”, most people will respond by talking about their family or their job. But these things are just life circumstances (and they can change).
 

Your mission today is to re-write your story.
 
 

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Task 1: What does and doesn’t define you

 

I’ve already mentioned that other people can never be who you are. Being a mother or a spouse is a role, it’s not you. You can, however, be a loving person!
 

Your job or what you do doesn’t define you either. Roles can change, your actions can change.
 

In fact, who you are is defined entirely by two things:

  1. Certain talents and natural abilities you were born with
  2. Your story

This second point seems arbitrary at first. You could tell any story, right? The point is: You don’t. In fact, it doesn’t get more you than what you take as truth about yourself. It shapes who you are.
 

who are you

Photo by Aaron Burden on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Who are you?

 

The beauty of this is that once you’re aware of this, you have the ability to change your story. The same kind of situation in life might lead you to completely different, even contradictory conclusions.
 

Dig a little. What stories do you tell yourself (and others) about yourself? Are there parts that might serve you better if you interpreted them differently? Mind you, this isn’t about making things up or denying the truth. It’s about seeing what’s there and finding a meaning in it that’s in accordance with the person you want to be.
 

Because in the end, you choose who you are. It’s a huge responsibility, but it also means the greatest freedom once you realise this.

One Thing You Need To Actually Manifest What You Want


 

Abstract:
 

Ever since the movie The Secret, the process of manifestation and the law of attraction have been widely known. And yet, it’s still one of the most misunderstood concepts as well. Even those who do their best to understand, often don’t manage to attract the things they want.
 

Your mission is to learn the one thing you must master in order to manifest what you truly want.
 
 

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Task 1: Learn the process of manifestation

 

Those who believe the law of attraction is a humbug, are fond of saying that it’s supposed to attract “whatever you think”. Indeed it’s what sources like the movie say at the beginning – the point is, they don’t leave it at that.
 

In its simplest form, the process is:

  • thoughts, which lead to
  • feelings, which spark
  • inspired action, which leads to
  • results.

 

This process is deceptively simple, because the above steps are logical and natural. If you’ve ever achieved anything, chances are you’ve followed them without consciously noticing. But there’s a rub, an element which is easily overlooked.
 

manifest what you want
 

Task 2: Manifest what you want

 

The one missing piece of information is that “feeling” doesn’t mean to temporarily put yourself into a state where you’re excited about the thing you’re manifesting. The deciding factor is to expect the result.
 

In life, you don’t get what you think, or feel, and often not what you work for either. You get what you expect.
 

Unfortunately, that’s where the real work comes in. How can you stop doubting? What if you carry trauma? The answer is, you’re going to have to change in order to manifest a changed reality. Here are a few suggestions to get you started.
 

  • Work on healing your trauma.
  • Do things that make you happy (such as pursuing your passion!).
  • Seriously, do what makes you happy.
  • Visualise your goal. Daydream about it in the present tense.
  • Express what you want in a creative way (paint it, write it, dance it).

Don’t Use Passions As A Band-Aid


 

Abstract:
 

Passions are the single most powerful shortcut to happiness. Whenever I feel a little off, doing what lights me up never fails to give me a buzz.
 

However, there’s a danger hidden in the very happiness passions give us. It can be tempting to use passions as a band-aid, as an excuse to not deal with things that aren’t going right in your life.
 

Your mission today is to learn to recognise this pitfall and how you can make sure to avoid it.
 
 

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Task 1: Are your passions a band-aid?

 

Pursuing your passion can give you almost unlimited energy and lift your spirits. Your passion makes you feel happy and balanced and can make a bad mood disappear in no time.
 

However, these qualities also make it dangerous. When your life is out of balance, you’re unhappy in your job or your relationship or something else is out of whack, you can use your passion like a band-aid or a painkiller. It’ll numb the pain sufficiently for you not to deal with it.
 

Look at your life or take the Life Audit to see which areas you may have to look at. Don’t paper over the cracks, not even with a passion.
 

passions-as-a-band-aid
 

Task 2: Make your passions an asset, not a drug

 

This is the reason why my Coaching programs encompass every aspect of your life, not just your passions. If you decide to prioritise your passion, it follows that something else needs to make space.
 

This requires you to assess all your priorities, not just add a new one. Take a bit of time and write down the things that matter in your life. Then compare the list with your calendar, your commitments and the things you spend your days with, and make adjustments accordingly.
 

Passions light you up, but this should be a bonus, not a survival strategy. Make sure the joy is the icing on the cake, rather than a band-aid.

Why Would You Need A Purpose?


 

Abstract:
 

Ask around what people think “purpose” is, and most will come up with a definition that resembles a “calling”: something you’re supposed to do in life, like a particular work or career.
 

That’s a shame, because in my experience purpose is much less restrictive. It’s not a sentence or a prison, but more like the underlying reason for what you do.
 

Your mission today is to learn what purpose is, and how to find yours.
 
 

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Task 1: Realise purpose is about being

 

Purpose is not a career or work. You can be passionate about work, something you do and achieve in life. That’s why I focus my Coaching on both passion and purpose.
 

A passion is something you love doing, something which lights you up. It could be an art or craft, but also a field of study, an interest. It could even be a sport or activity. You could say a passion is something you do.
 

In contrast, purpose is about being. Take my purpose: I’m an agent of change, of connecting or re-connecting people to who they truly are. Of course I achieve this through doing, through my work as a coach. But the underlying purpose is who I am, no matter how I go about achieving it.
 

you need a purpose
 

Task 2: Why you need a purpose

 

Coaching is my passion and an instrument of my purpose, but it’s not the only one. My purpose is who I am, remember? Passion and purpose are related energetically, which is why prioritising passions leads you to discovering your purpose. But they’re not the same thing.
 

Purpose is the meaning underlying it all. It’s who you are at your deepest core. Knowing your purpose steers your steps and acts like a compass. You need a purpose because it gets you out of bed in the morning and keeps you going.
 

It’s utter bliss to live your purpose, and well worth the effort!