7 Layers Of Truth: How To Be Joyful In 2020

activism

Photo by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on unsplash.com


 

In recent months, our world seems to be in a permanent state of crisis. There’s a global pandemic, people have lost their jobs and incomes, there’s civil unrest in several countries. In the US and elsewhere, Black people and their allies stand up to demand they finally be treated equally and fairly. Don’t even get me started on the climate crisis and the acute emergency it creates in certain nations that are quite literally sinking into the ocean as we speak.
 

There were a few common themes in the conversations I’ve had in recent weeks. My paying clients, but also friends and Wild Spirits I simply chatted to all said that they feel preoccupied and overwhelmed. Many find it hard to concentrate on their work or even their passion and their joy. Others are simply exhausted from the struggles and the emotional burden of what they’ve been going through. Almost everyone feels like it’s not the time and place to prioritise their passion and focus on joy.
 

Let’s try and unpack this subject, because there are many different layers to it. I call them the 7 truths, and like Salome’s veils I’d like to peel them off one by one.
 
 

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1. Being joyful doesn’t mean you don’t care

 

Let’s get the big one out of the way first. Depending on where you live in the world, you may witness different injustices and raw suffering. It’s hard for a compassionate human to look the other way, and thankfully, that’s not what’s required.
 

It doesn’t help those who are suffering one bit if you suffer along with them. You can be an activist if you want to, or sign petitions, educate yourself and others, and still have joy in your life. It’s not all or nothing. In fact, your being joyful contributes to improving things, so it’s the opposite of being selfish (more about that later).
 
 

2. Examine your underlying beliefs about passions

 

There’s a subtle judgment in our thinking that times like these don’t leave space for passions. That’s the belief we all have soaked up from our society all our lives and which has taken root deep in our subconsious. It’s the belief that passions and joy are trivial things, luxuries, which you’re only allowed to pay attention to once the “important tasks” are done.
 

You may not consciously believe this, but trust me, you have internalised it on some level. Rather than denying it, it’s far more constructive to become conscious of this fact, and openly oppose the belief by deliberately doing what lights you up – even if you have to nudge yourself.
 
 

3. Certain things will take over your time temporarily

 

This is something the multi-passionates/scanners amongst us are experts at already. The rest of ye can learn from us: There are always times when certain things take over. If you have a new baby, you’ll spend most of your time and effort on that little human for at least a year or two. When there’s a global pandemic, it’s bound to soak up a lot of attention and emotional energy.
 

Muti-passionates usually have one or two dominant passions at a time, and we all need to learn not to feel guilty about the others during those times. It’s what it truly means to “go with the flow”. The trick is to allow the dominance of one theme, whilst still gently reminding yourself to do other important things as well. If you will, it’s learning to successfully multitask without driving yourself nuts.
 
 

4. You need to preserve your energy

 

If current events or a cause you believe in take up a lot of attention, it’s easy to lose yourself in it and completely overdo it, especially if you are a caring person and/or personally affected by what’s going on.
 

Wild Spirits tend to care deeply, so I’ve had a lot of conversations recently with folks who are exhausted, physically and emotionally. To avoid having this happen to you, or to start bouncing back if you’re already there, the first step is to remember your basic physical needs. Make sure you eat regularly (and reasonably well) and sleep regular and sufficient hours. It’s amazing at the difference these things can make after only a few days.
 
 

5. You need Self-Care and downtime

 

After the emergency rescue of No. 4, you need to go a step further and remember that you’re not a machine. You need time to recharge. After all, you’re no good to anyone if you’re burning out or having a breakdown, physically and/or emotionally.
 

Remember to take time away from everything, even those you love. You need times when nothing is required of you. This could be rest, a walk in nature, a bubble bath, an evening with a book. Also make sure to stay away from media – including social – during those times. It’s of vital importance to switch off regularly, in the literal as well as the figurative sense.
 
 

6. Connection is more important than ever

 

We’ve been told to isolate, but that doesn’t mean we need to be lonely. In some countries we’re allowed to meet friends again. Use these opportunities to connect, have a heart-to-heart, deep conversations in person, hugs. If you’re still in lockdown, reach out to people via phone or Skype/Zoom and if you live with family or a partner, make the most of that, too. Rather than just living next to each other, be sure to have meaningful conversations as well as fun times doing things you love together.
 

joyful in 2020

Joy in 2020. Photo by Noah Silliman on unsplash.com


 

7. Your Joy in 2020 can help heal the world

 

Lastly, understand that you contribute to the healing of the world, not only by actively participating and getting heard, but also by your energy. This is why it’s important – not just to you, but to everyone – that you consciously take time to focus on your passion.
 

When your soul is lit up, it’ll radiate the highest possible vibration, joy and love. Look around you: isn’t that what the world needs most right now? This does not mean to spiritually bypass and ignore the very real issues at hand. Like I said before, it’s not all or nothing. You can be responsible and active and do your part, and still find time to connect to the joy of your passion or passions.
 

In fact, it’s not just possible, it’s necessary. This is our task right now, and it’s not easy, but learning it is possibly the most important survival skill for 2020. Not only will it help us survive, but it’ll make us thrive, and that energy helps to heal the world.

2 Reasons Why You Repel Money


 

Abstract:
 

I’ve done a lot of work on my own money mindset and have worked with other people on theirs. One thing I notice is that some people have it a lot harder than others, and not because of circumstances like being born poor. No, some people just seem to repel money.
 

You mission today is to learn why you might be struggling financially and how to start turning the situation around.
 
 

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Reason No. 1: Stress

 

My friend Dr. Valerie Rein once wrote: “Stress is teflon to abundance.” That’s a great way of putting it.
 

The following may sound a little hippie and out there, but bear with me, please. The thing is that energetically, stress is the exact opposite of abundane. Think about abundance or receiving – imagine you’re playing charades and are supposed to mime “abundance”. Try it! I bet you made an expansive gesture, one of opening up.
 

Stress does the opposite: it makes you tense, literally makes your muscles contract. That’s why it’s not conducive to receiving anything.
 

To become more abundant, take steps to eliminate stress from your life as much as possible.
 

why you repel money

Photo by baetzpetra on pixabay.com


 

Reason No. 2: Ignorance and mindset

 

To open the door to abundance, you must know about basics such as budgeting and low-level investing. Money likes to go where it’s valued, so get educated.
 

Nobody teaches us about budgeting or investing in school, so we have some catching up to do. Besides, most of us are brought up with very negative money beliefs we need to disable, which is another reason why you repel money. At the very least, read some good books about personal finance. Get Coaching or do a course.
 

You need to re-train your brain and mindset, and you also need to learn about budgeting. The best thing about it is that along the way you’ll realise that money is actually fun.

Why You Should Go Against Your Intuition


 

Abstract:
 

Usually, I’ll tell you to go by your instincts: “Do what feels right,” “do what makes sense to you,” “your intuition won’t lead you wrong.”
 

That’s true, and yet there are times when we need to leap before we can see the net that’ll catch us. It’s a basic principle of life – you could call it the backwards principle.
 

Your mission today is to learn how to stop waiting to priorise your passion, invest money, and do anything you want to.
 
 

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Task 1: The “backwards principle” – against your intuition

 

Full disclosure, this isn’t actually a term. I just invented it, because I think it’s fitting. I’m going to illustrate it with an example that’s going to make it very clear.
 

If you were trying to get fit, you wouldn’t say: “Once I’m fit, then I’ll go and exercise,” would you? No. You know that in order to create strength, you need to train your muscles and practice your technique.
 

Of course it’ll get easier once you’ve got a basic level of fitness, but to get there, you need to start before you feel like it. You start because you trust it’ll happen. And you do it against your intuition.
 

The same goes for everything else.
 

against your intuition

Photo by Joshua Earle on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Trust first

Here are a few examples of where it pays off to trust first.

  • Investment. Money gurus teach that you need to start with a habit of saving and investing when you’re still broke. Tiny amounts will do. It flexes your wealth-building muscles (also, compound interest is a thing!).
  • Time for passions. You’ll never have enough time. Stop believing your own stories. When you have lots on your plate, that’s exactly when you need to start radically making time and prioritising your passion. This will shift your life to create more space.
  • Any endeavor. Starting a business, learning a language – you’ll never be ready and the circumstances will never be right. Start at the worst time. Once you make that decision and take action, the universe will move.

You’re Not As Lazy As You Think

Lazy, Laziness, pursue your passion

What would you guess, is the one thing all my different clients have in common, when asked why they don’t pursue their passion? People from diverse backgrounds, education, interests, passions… What is the one thing they all say about themselves?
 

They all call themselves lazy.
 

I would be hard-pressed to come up with another thing practically everyone has in common. And that’s astounding, especially considering how untrue the statement is. People are in fact far from lazy. They get an astonishing number of things done, only they fail to count those and dismiss them as “normal”. Some run an amazing household. Others kill it at work. They may spend lots of quality time with their children or pets – or indeed, any combination of the above.
 

All these amazing people share a nagging feeling that they should be doing more, that they should be on top of things and have it all figured out. There are many reasons for this phenomenon, one of them being how easy it is to compare ourselves to others these days, especially on Social Media where everyone emphasises the positive aspects of their lives. The impression one gets from scrolling through friends’ status updates is that they are all at the top of their game, and we are somehow… lagging behind.
 
 

 
 

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Why we think we’re lazy

 

When we think about why we aren’t doing everything we want to – when I, for example, ask someone what keeps them from pursuing their passion – we quickly jump to the conclusion that we’re simply lazy. After all, not every minute of every day is taken up by different tasks. We often even sit in front of the TV or the computer doing nothing but wasting time! If we weren’t so lazy, we’d be out exercising, or crafting, or pursuing some other passion, right?
 

Wrong.

[bctt tweet=”If we weren’t so lazy, we’d be out exercising, or crafting, or pursuing some other passion, right? -Wrong.”]

You see, the assumption that every moment of our waking time should be filled with some productive activity, is simply wrong. It’s also completely against anything we’re equipped to do from an evolutionary standpoint.
 

I’ve read several accounts of anthropologists (anthropology is one of the subjects I studied at university. Did I mention I’m a multi-passionate?) who went to live in tribal cultures that haven’t been touched by technology. They all observed that there’s no “laziness”, no reluctance to work or do things, in these cultures. Very rarely, there might be someone who doesn’t want to work, and they’ll be regarded as sick and left alone, until they “feel better” and come to join the others in their chores again.
 

Isn’t that interesting?
 
 

Information overload

 

A lot has been said and written about the fact that our modern lives aren’t particularly suited to our human nature. We get overstimulated by media, advertising, traffic, noise, artificial light, and a myriad of other things. We have access to practically all information available to humanity, at our fingertips, and more opportunities to work, practice, create, and do whatever we please than we ever had before.
 

A lot of these things are marvellous, but they also carry the danger of constant overwhelm. To go back to the example of tribal societies: One thing they seem to have in common is that the pace of life is slow. There is a lot of work to be done, but people aren’t in a rush all the time. The phenomenon of stress is unique to our “civilised” culture.

[bctt tweet=”So maybe, just maybe, we aren’t lazy at all when we scroll through Facebook instead of writing a novel?”]

So maybe, just maybe, we aren’t lazy at all when we scroll through Facebook instead of painting a picture or writing a novel? Maybe sitting on the couch munching a takeaway, rather than going for a run, doesn’t make you a bad person, but is simply a symptom of a life full to the brim with impressions and stimulation already? What’s more, we all have different tolerance thresholds and different needs for rest, which makes it even more pointless to compare ourselves to others unfavourably.
 
 

Overcoming inertia

 

Isn’t it perhaps time to let yourself off the hook for your “laziness”? Beating yourself up isn’t going to solve anything. At the same time, you shouldn’t just accept that you’ll never get to pursue your passion or live your dreams. When you think you’re lazy, it’s a sure sign that your life is too full. It’s time to de-clutter, simplify, downsize.
 

One thing Coaching does for people is to make them feel better about themselves because they go into action mode. Humans aren’t supposed to do it all by themselves. In tribal societies, people always work with at least one other person.
 

Get the support you need, sign up for Coaching, join a Mastermind group… You’ll be surprised how motivated you suddenly are to make the changes you wish for.

Why Circling Is Your Secret Weapon

Circling, Mastermind

Have you ever tried to keep up some kind of positive routine? Ever tried to eat healthy when everyone around you celebrated junk food and alcohol? Or to pursue your passion and consciously seek joy when TV and stress are the norm? I don’t know about you, but I fail fairly regularly.
 

Being aware and conscious and making good choices can feel like a constant uphill struggle. It’s like “normality” pulls us back down more effectively than gravity connects us to the surface of our planet. I choose quotes around “normality” because it is, of course, BS. What we think of as a normal life has been established within the last 100-200 years, tops. It’s not even particularly suited to humans, this way of life we’ve chosen, and yet it’s anchored in our heads as the way the world works and the only possible life.
 

If you’re committed to positive change, you automatically set yourself up for what can feel like hard work. You are constantly swimming against the tide of the rest of society. Add to that our human tendency to take the path of least resistance with ourselves, and suddenly the sofa and a TV series look a lot more appealing than that book you’re trying to write or your dancing shoes.
 

There’s a very good reason though why this is so, and ways to make it easier for you to stick with what brings you joy. Let me show you!
 
 

 
 

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Circling for empowerment

 

Humans are herd animals. On our own, we’re actually fairly weak and not very suited to survival. The way homo sapiens survived from the beginning of our existence, was by banding together in groups, and this behaviour is deeply ingrained in our subconscious.
 

Of course, in today’s society the individual is celebrated, because we’ve created a much safer way of life and are no longer in danger of being eaten by wild animals. However, we still have that urge to stick together. It’s been with us for tens of thousands of years; a habit that has been so long established and used to be this crucial to survival, is not so easily broken.
 

It’s this which can pull us down when we try to soar in joy and fulfillment, but the same mechanic can also work in our favour. Basically, in order to succeed at anything, we need the support of other humans. It’s not a weakness or a lack of individuality, it’s simply the way we are hard-wired to operate. Coaching is of course one way of getting support. Another is circling.
 

When I say “circling”, I mean a wide variety of activities. Basically, I would count as a circle any type of group coming together regularly with a similar goal. I’ll give you a few examples of groups, but in reality, the possibilities are endless! Find something which works for you, and transforming your life will be a breeze.
 
 

Mastermind

 

I’ll start with the most powerful way of circling. A mastermind is a group of people who support each other to reach certain goals. Often, it’s business people who meet either in person, or online (or by phone conference) to share goals, brainstorm possible solutions to a challenge one of them might be facing, and support each other. Masterminds are so powerful, people spend hundreds per month to be part of one.
 

The concept is applicable to everything, though – people who pursue their passions, for example! Why not brainstorm ways of creating space for passions every day, and support to stick with doing what you love? The possibilities are endless.
 
 

Hobby groups, drumming circles, etc.

 

Two of my best friends joined a drum circle and couldn’t shut up about it. There’s something incredibly empowering about sitting with others and drumming out a free rhythm which will eventually merge into a group rhythm, a voice beyond the individual’s. It’s synergy in motion.
 

There are all sorts of hobby and interest groups if your passion is something shareable. There are crafting groups, knitting circles, dance groups, you name it. The great thing about those is that the fees are mostly nominal – usually just the cost of the room you’re meeting in.
 
 

Women’s circles

 

Women are still brought up to be competitive with each other. Society can be rather toxic for us! Really, there’s nothing more powerful than a bunch of women who unconditionally support each other.
 

Ever since the 70s, women circling have been changing communities and more importantly, women’s own hearts and lives. More recently, the “Red Tent” movement (google it) has brought forth safe spaces for women to express themselves and evolve in. Get up, get going, and get involved! You’ll wonder how you ever did without.