But I Can’t Afford The Life Of My Dreams!


 

Abstract:
 

90% of the people I talk to, react in a similar way: When I ask them what their dreams are, they will name something that isn’t all that far beyond their current life. If I press them to go completely overboard, they’ll respond with: “But I could never afford to live like that.”
 

What they don’t understand is that the point of goals is not to know how you’ll achieve them. In fact, Bob Proctor said: “If you know what to do to reach your goal, it’s not a big enough goal.”
 

Your mission is to do what Neo needed to do in the Matrix: “Free your mind”.
 
 

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Task 1: Reason is overrated

 

There is a place for reason. A goal isn’t worthless just because you know how to reach it, and yet, I agree that at least some of your goals or dreams should be far outside of what you think possible.
 

Examine what keeps you from dreaming big. Do you feel a little silly? But imagination is limitless, and so is creativity. Do you think it’s impossible? Fact is, lots of people have achieved things far beyond what they thought they could. The evidence is plenty.
 

Thinking creatively, going beyond, even into the realm of silliness, is a skill you can learn. Set yourself a reminder once a week for “dream time”.
 

my dreams

Photo by silviarita on pixabay.com


 

Task 2: Program your mind for your dreams

 

This is an ongoing task and will take some time. Basically, you need to brainwash yourself. Here are a few steps for you to take:
 

  1. Read something positive every day. Include books on finances (try Amanda Steinberg or Jen Sincero). Make time for it.
  2. Follow blogs, podcasts, YouTube channels by personal development experts. You could start with my newsletter and videos!
  3. Surround yourself by positive people. Know anyone who’s into this stuff? Seek them out and spend more time with them.

Does Money Kill Your Joy?


 

Abstract:
 

In my yearly survey, Wild Spirits regularly tell me that money is their biggest obstacle to success. Yet my money-related features are always the least viewed of all. One member of the Wild Spirits community told me: “You’re all about joy and passion, Sibylle, and to me, finances are the opposite of these things.”
 

I relate. In fact, I used to think the exact same thing, before I found a better way. Your mission today is to make finances a passion, or at least, to bring joy to your money management.
 
 

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Task 1: How does money kill your joy?

 

No, I won’t let you get away with “money just sucks”. Money buys life-saving medical equipment, trips to exciting new places, and tickets to your favourite musician’s concert.
 

Money is brilliant.
 

D’you know when money sucks? When there isn’t enough of it. It’s time you get to the reason for it – not your low-paying job or the cost of childcare, the real reason.
 

  • How was money talked about when you were a child?
  • What do you think about rich people?
  • What difference would an extra 100,000 make to the passion(s) in your life?

 

Does Money Kill Your Joy?

Photo by Pine Watt on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Rewrite and reframe

 

It’s time to rewrite your money story. Look at your beliefs and start poking holes into them.
 

Then, it’s time to associate finances with joy. There are many ways of doing this; here are a few suggestions:
 

  • Get online banking and check your savings regularly, watching them grow with the interest.
  • Make a celebration of your monthly budgeting session with tea, candles, a treat, some quality time with your partner, dreams of the future etc.
  • Get a beautiful new wallet in gorgeous colours to give your cash a pretty home.
  • Try the envelope system of budgeting (google it) and get pretty colourful envelopes for it.
  • Have a monthly “Play” budget to blow on something fun.

Working Too Much And Still Broke?


 

Abstract:
 

In my 20s, I was broke pretty much all the time. I lived in my overdraft.
 

As I grew older and the jobs I worked in got more demanding, I slipped into a cycle of overspending, being broke, working even harder, being exhausted, and overspending to compensate. Many are familiar with this downward spiral, but can’t find their way out.
 

Your mission: Recognise the pattern and turn it around.
 
 

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Task 1: Come clean

 

You may protest that you really don’t earn enough. This might be true. But if you’re like most people, you probably earn more now than you did when you’d just finished your training or degree. Your standard of life simply went up with your income.
 

Also recognise that overspending, being broke and then having to work even more is exactly what capitalism wants us to do. It’s built on ever-increasing spending. You’re not stupid or alone, you’re still broke because you’re meant to be.
 
 

Task 2: No more “broke” mentality

 

I hate the term frugality. It smacks of lack and self-denial. I want you to recognise that your living above your means is what actually leads to self-denial, in the shape of ever more work and pressure.
 

This work goes beyond a video. You need to continuously work on your money mindset and change it from scarcity to abundance.
 

Working Too Hard And Still Broke?

Photo by Nolan Issac on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Joy in abundance

 

When I downsized my life, it improved in every way. I had time, rest, space to pursue my passions, and enough money for everything.
 

Here are three steps to get there:
 

  1. Stop buying stuff. It’s as simple as that. You don’t need new clothes, or a gadget you’ve never needed before. Borrow, swap, reuse!
  2. Determine two or three “luxuries” you can’t do without. Consciously decide you’ll keep them, and feel good about yourself.
  3. Determine what lights you up and allocate money to it. There’s nothing more important, and you’ll no longer need impulse-purchases when you’re lit up with joy.

When Your Passion’s Unprofitable


 

Abstract:
 

In my work, I talk to a lot of people about their passions. When I point out that in my opinion, passions should be front and centre in life, a lot of them answer with a variation of: “That sounds great, but you see, my passion just isn’t profitable.”
 

Experience shows that a passion-centered life always provides for your needs. If this sounds vague, it’s because the actual path looks different for each individual, as my Coaching clients show. Here are some example to get your imagination going!
 
 

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Essentials in life

 

When people think of essentials, they think about paying bills. Ask yourself if you would still need a big house and car if you were outrageously happy and fulfilled?
 

This is not to say material riches are bad. What I’m saying is that people get the order of things wrong. If you focus on the material first, you’ll get stuck on that level; when you focus on passion, the material will follow.
[bctt tweet=”If you focus on the material first, you’ll get stuck on that level; if you focus on passion, the material will follow.”]
An example is a friend of mine who left a well-paying career to follow her passion for travel and became a tour guide for a few years. Now she considers starting her own tour company, which could potentially be very profitable.
 

passion centered
 

Manifold paths

 

It’s not always as straightforward as selling what you create with your passion, or the service you provide. One of my previous clients followed her passion for the history of her country into a career and now leads a cultural heritage centre. Others reduce the “necessities of life” like jobs to a minimum, in order to be able to fully focus on their passion.
 

Some actually do find their passion profitable. This often requires a lot of work on things like self-esteem so you don’t undercharge people just because you love your work. Earning money doing what you love should be the norm, not an exception.

4 Steps To Take If There’s Never Enough Time/Money

never enough

There are people who always rush around. “Lots going on!” is there every other sentence. They’re involved in a million different activities, and while every one of these activities sounds great, they seem to be piling up to an overwhelming workload.
 

Others are always strapped for cash. I used to be one of those. In fact, I’ve currently taken on a big financial commitment which strains my finances and will continue to do so until June. Sometimes it takes me back to the way I used to feel, all the time. Then I remind myself that I’ve indeed learned my lessons and am doing this willingly! It was different years ago, when I had no control over my finances at all and there was never enough.
 

You probably know at least one person who never has enough time or money. Maybe you’re like that yourself? When you look around yourself, do you perhaps wonder how others manage to make big purchases, or take time to create art or get a lot done? And at the same time, you seem to be permanently behind schedule, disorganised, and a little out of breath? Or alternatively, there seems to be “a lot of month left at the end of the money” every time?
 

It might be time to find the root causes of this phenomenon. Once you know what you’re dealing with, you can take measures to turn things around.
 
 

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Don’t play the blame game

 

Obviously, everyone has had busy times in their lives, and unless you were born with the proverbial silver spoon in your mouth, you’ve likely been short of cash at least once, too. Neither is a reason for worry! It’s just when this becomes a chronic state of things that you should get suspicious.
 

If there’s never enough time or money in your life, it’s an indication of an underlying issue. It’s usually to do with beliefs we hold, either consciously or unconsciously.
 

Before I continue, it’s important for you to understand that you’re not “to blame” for what’s going on. Beliefs are usually formed in childhood and become second nature to us. Most of the time, we assume that what we believe is simply “reality”.
 

There’s a big difference between taking the responsibility to own your beliefs, and blaming yourself for them. Taking ownership means you’re in control. You’re empowered to change things. Blaming yourself is counterproductive and simply not fair. In other words, you couldn’t help creating those beliefs of yours, but you can refuse to continue giving them power over you.
 
 

Taking back control

 

The most effective way to get rid of self-sabotaging beliefs is to replace them with functional ones. You can do this by following the steps below.
 

  1. Identify your belief by watching your thought and speech patterns. Do you always say you can’t afford something? Are you always “in a hurry”? The phrases you most often use around the subjects of time or money, are likely expressions of your belief.
  2.  

  3. Challenge the belief. Ask yourself: “Is this really always true?” Find examples of when the belief clearly wasn’t true. For example, if you believe money is hard to come by, remember the time when you were given money for your birthday or got an unexpected pay raise or tax return. Undermine your dysfunctional belief as best you can.
  4.  

  5. For a space of about three weeks, challenge yourself every time you think or express your belief. Stop yourself immediately. Then speak (out loud, if at all possible) the belief you’d like to replace the dysfunctional one with. Example: “There’s never enough ti… -stop! I mean, I choose not to make the time for this right now.”
     

  6. To speed up the process, you can also use your new belief as an affirmation. At least twice a day, say your new belief out loud. Be sure it’s in the present tense and contains only positive words, as your subconscious can’t distinguish between “will” and “won’t”. For example, make it: “I have plenty of money” rather than “I’m not broke”.

 

Remember, it takes a minimum of 21 days to create a new habit, and the same goes for establishing a new belief. In the beginning, you’ll feel like you’re lying when you speak your new belief. Stick with it, and you’ll notice that it starts to feel like the truth after a while.
 

In order for the changes to stick, you need to follow up your inner work with action in the real work. Learn time management and money management and commit to putting them into practice. Life is too short to deal with a constant state of lack.