Give Yourself Permission To Want


 

Abstract:
 

When I was little, my mum used to say: “Mr Want has died.” It wasn’t considered polite to express one’s will. Wanting was discouraged.
 

It was well meant, but this kind of thinking is hugely damaging. People think that anyone who’s clear and vocal about what they want, must be selfish and ruthless.
 

Your mission today is to allow yourself to truly want and desire, and to discover why this is the best thing you could do for your loved ones.
 
 

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Task 1: What’s your story?

 

Chances are you have acquired a few internal, subconscious “stories” about wanting over the course of your life. Your first task is to uncover them.
 

Get comfortable, relax, and then finish the sentence, “I want…”, repeatedly. Make a note of what you spontaneously come up with, anything, even if it seems silly.
 

Most of all, however, make a note of how you feel when you express what you want. This is a huge signpost towards your attitude to desire.
 
 

Task 2: Become a receiver

 

Connected to the negativity around desire, is the idea that giving is better than receiving. In reality, a balance is best, because receiving is just as important as giving.
 

Make a conscious effort to become a good receiver. When someone pays you a compliment, say “thank you” (and nothing else). Whenever you receive money, express your gratitude. Give thanks for the food you nourish your body with, and so forth.
 

Permission To Want

Photo by Brooke Lark


 

Task 3: Permission to want

 

These tasks need to be repeated in order to truly effect change. Once you feel a lifting of the heaviness around the word “want”, it’s time to use it for yourself.
 

Allow yourself to want, stop being ashamed of it. You weren’t born to play small. Set your loved ones an example of reaching for the stars. Nothing could be more inspiring, and it’ll set them up for more happiness, too.

How To Use Results To Get Motivated


 

Abstract:
 

It seems obvious: getting what we want motivates us to work on it more. People often say this about money (“Give me a million, and I’m going to manage it”). Of course, it doesn’t work that way, and you have to start managing what little money you have in order to create more.
 

But how do you get motivated from the very start? In fact, there are several ways of doing this, and I’m going to introduce to you two of them.
 

Your mission is to use results to get motivated to do [fill in the blank].
 
 

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Task 1: Use results to get clarity

 

Don’t worry, you needn’t “visualise” for this. For some reason, people seem to be afraid of visualisation, but what it really means is to fantasise or daydream! Anyone can do that.
 

Imagine what you truly want to achieve. Picture your goal, or the passion you wish to prioritise in your life. Imagine a perfect “day in the life”, when you have actually prioritised your passion and achieved your goal. Picture every detail and use your senses as well as your emotions.
 

This gives you a good idea of what it is you truly want. It helps you set and adjust your goals, to make sure you’re working on results that really matter to you.
 

Use Results To Get Motivated

Photo by Sina Sahraei on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Create results, fast

 

Find a way to get a “quick win”. By that I don’t mean a shortcut that makes the whole thing meaningless. I mean a first, tangible results.
 

When I got back into shape, I wanted to dance again. After a week of daily yoga / stretching for 5-10 minutes each day, I danced through a whole song without going out of breath. And I was hooked again.
 

Results make you addicted, so create and aim for as many part-way results – milestones – as you can. You’ll never lack motivation to go forward.

What Are You Actually Committed To?

https://youtu.be/jrmgExPWQ3I
 

Abstract:
 

Years ago, my Coach asked me what I was committed to. My answer was: Living my best life, being joyful… But it wasn’t true. This was the time when I was still paying back my debts, and I was working all hours and had no time, money or energy for fun or much social interaction.
 

My Coach pointed out that my only commitment was paying back my debts. This wasn’t good or bad, but it forced me to change my perception. Knowing what you’re committed to is the first step to being able to make changes.
 
 

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Task 1: Study your results

 

Your current life is the best indicator of what your commitments are. A little caveat: To an extent, what’s manifest in the present is always a result of past commitments, rather than present ones. However, the “past” could be as recent as last week.
 

Look at how you spend your time, but also where your energy lies. What do you think about and focus on? This can give you a good idea of where your commitment actually is.
 
 

Task 2: Correct your commitments

 

Ask yourself if your current situation is where you want to be. If so, congratulations, keep doing what you’re doing.
 

If not, then now’s the time to make adjustments. Write down what you’d like more of or less of. Don’t worry how you’re going to get there, just note what you wish was different.
 

Next, figure out a way to implement these adjustments. Consider Coaching or another form of support, because it’s very hard to stick these things out on your own.
 

What are you committed to?
 

Task 3: Paint your ideal picture

 

Where would you like your focus to be? This can be one or several things, but make it realistic (don’t overcommit yourself).
 

Now you only need to put it into practice and work on adjusting your commitments. Once you’ve done this, your results will change automatically.

When The People Around You Just Don’t Get It


 

Abstract:
 

Years ago, long before I ever discovered Coaching, a good friend of mine trained to be a Coach. I’d just been made permanent in a job and for the first time in my life, felt the comfort of a regular salary.
 

She was gushing about being self-employed, while I was in a completely different place. We navigated the differences, but it often felt weird. At worst, this type of situation can feel like your environment is holding you back.
 

Your mission is to learn how to handle people who are in a different phase.
 
 

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Task 1: Understand life’s natural cycles

 

To start off with, it helps to realise that life is cyclical. The seasons follow each other; no tree blossoms all year around. Similarly, we go through phases of passion and joy, energy and enthusiasm, followed by quieter periods of “maintenance”. There are even periods where we’re distracted, where life just happens and demands our attention elsewhere.
 

Realise that the other person might not be in the same phase. This also helps you have more compassion with yourself when you’re less motivated. Your passion might require consistency, but don’t expect yourself to be equally motivated all the time. Simply develop the dedication needed to stick with it through the hard times.
 

When The People Around you Just Don't Get It

Photo by rawpixel on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Sanitise your environment

 

At the same time, if someone around you is openly negative or ridicules you, it can seriously impact your progress and your happiness. Call it out in a non-confrontational way; tell them how their attitude makes you feel.
 

If nothing changes, you need, for your own sanity, remove yourself from their influence. If you can’t kick them out of your life altogether, create pockets of alone time for yourself where you can pursue your passion. Talk about other things; don’t confide in them concerning the phase you’re in.
 

Protect your space, but be understanding, too. We all walk our own paths.

Stop Missing The No. 1 Happiness Factor


 

Abstract:
 

It sounds so easy. We pursue our goals, we achieve them, and then we’re happy. Right?
 

In reality, you may have noticed that after you achieve or get something you’ve really wanted, you’ll indeed be very happy, but after a while you return to your normal mood.
 

It’s a little-known fact that capacity for happiness needs to be learned and practised. The simplest happiness factor is also the most-overlooked: It’s feeling good.
 
 

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1. Task: The Check-in

 

Well-being comes in two forms, physical and emotional/mental. It sounds rather basic, but in fact few people are really tuned into the way their body feels.
 

To establish a connection, sit comfortably, breathe, drop your shoulders. Then ask yourself how you feel, physically. Are you happy? Tense? Excited? Full of energy or maybe tired?
 

All you have to do is notice it.
 
 

2. Task: Make yourself comfortable

 

We say it to our house guests, but now your task is to quite literally make yourself comfortable. Do you need anything? A cup of tea, a blanket, a treat? Maybe you need to get up, stretch, and walk up and down a bit to get your energy going?
 

Whatever you need to do to increase your comfort, do it. Remember it’s a vital happiness factor.
 

Happiness Factor

Photo by Nick Karvounis on unsplash.com

3. Task: Where in your life are you unwell?

 

Now look beyond your physical needs. Where aren’t you comfortable in the figurative sense? Your task is to do one thing to feel better. It might be a clarifying talk with a loved one or a small change you’ve been wanting to suggest in your job.
 

This last task obviously takes you beyond the time it takes to watch/read this feature. I suggest you take action right afterwards! Don’t wait until the evening or tomorrow, or you’ll forget. Pay attention to this happiness factor; you deserve to be good.