When a trainer in a workshop asked: “What do you want?” it sounded familiar. As a Coach I use this question for goalsetting and creating action plans.
But the trainer then went on to explain that she wasn’t interested in what we “think” we want (such as a home and security), but our deepest desires.
We went on to explore the difference between wants and desires at some length, and it turns out to be a very relevant differentiation for pursuing one’s passion as well.
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Want or desire?
Wants are on the mental and emotional level, and they can change. You may want a certain type of house and then realise your family needs a different house, so you change your mind and your “want”.
Desire happens on the physical level, just like sexual desire does. Our body gives us all kinds of feedback, but we’re not brought up to listen to or even recognise these signals.
Learn your desire
It’s possible to learn to tune into your desire, but you’ll need some patience. Here are 4 steps for you:
1. Check in with your body
Three times a day, check in with your body. Look for physical clues and signs for your body’s “mood”, such as tension or heaviness.
2. Learn your body’s language
Next, use physical feedback to make decisions. Think of your options and observe your body’s reaction. You’ll notice your body is always spot-on!
3. Ask and listen
Now ask your body what it needs and listen to the answer (a nap? A hug?). Do the same with your mind, soul and spirit.
3. Discover your desires
Once you’ve mastered these steps, you’ll be able to tune into your body to dicover your deepest desires. These are the things to pay attention to, the ones that are worth any effort.