Almost nobody thinks they’re particularly judgmental. I certainly didn’t. I’m a live-and-let-live person and have no problem cheering on others in their endeavors.
However, there are ways judgment of others – and of ourselves – tends to creep in, and they can really throw you a curve ball. Suddenly you feel deflated and don’t even know why.
Your mission is to learn 3 ways judging kills your joy, and how you can prevent this from ever happening again.
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Task 1: Why being judgmental is bad for you
It may sound obvious, because we’ve all learned that it’s nicer to accept others, rather than judge them. But none of us is a saint, and we’ve all fallen into the trap occasionally.
The thing about judgment is that it’s never about the other person. Any type of judgment reveals something that’s a sore point within yourself. This is especially true when we judge ourselves (and these are often the harshest judgments we pass).
If you feel yourself getting triggered, take a deep breath and look inside. Is there something you need to heal? Do you need reassurance? Focus on fulfilling these needs, rather than passing judgment on others or yourself.
Task 2: Learn the 3 ways judging kills your joy
- Superiority equals loneliness. The saying “it’s lonely at the top” also applies when it’s only a feeling of superiority. By judging, you immediately create a separation between you and the other person. Isolation is painful and not conducive to joy.
- You miss the nuances that make life worth living. When you judge, you only think in terms of “better than” and “worse than”. In contrast, joy lives in play, silliness, loving unconditionally, doing what you love with reckless abandon.
- You miss the best of whoever you’re judging. Whether you judge yourself or others, the act of judging focuses you on one trait. This makes you overlook all the facettes and nuances that make a person unique and loveable.