Have you ever pursued a goal – a course of study, or a course or training, maybe even a career or a relationship – with enormous dedication and discipline, only to run out of steam halfway through? Or perhaps you realised that it wasn’t what you truly wanted? It can be disheartening, to say the least.
Now obviously, you learn and grow from anything you strive for. Your time and effort are never truly wasted. Still, you’d prefer using your energy to pursue a goal that’s truly “you”, wouldn’t you?
Here’s a surefire way to find out.
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Sucess or failure?
When I feel stuck, or things aren’t going right, I respond with a surge in energy. I come up with a ton of creative new goals, new dreams, you name it. The problem is, that goals created in these circumstances rarely reflect what I really want.
Many years ago, my coach taught me a wise question to ask when setting goals: “Am I moving towards, or away from something?” If you’re setting a goal just to escape from something, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Push or pull?
Obviously, wanting to get out of a bad situation isn’t a bad thing. However, it’s a good idea to postpone setting major life goals until the time when you’ve sorted out your issues.
First, set short-term goals designed to alleviate your situation. Hate your job? Create an exit strategy to a more bearable one. Relationship going nowhere? Get couple counselling or get out.
Once you’re no longer suffering, no longer feel the need to move away from something, you can ask yourself what you’d like to move towards. Now’s the time for goal setting and dreaming big. Base it on your desires, your passion, and your skills – on what you want, rather than what you’d like to avoid.