Get Ready For The 20s – Part II


 

Abstract:
 

If you’ve missed part I, please take some time to do this first; you’ll need your results from it! This week, your mission is to set yourself up for the best decade of your life so far.
 

Looking ahead doesn’t have to be mere wishful thinking. A significant part of the future is down to you, and that’s reassuring to know, but it’s also a big responsibility. Here’s how to stack the deck in your favour.
 
 

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Task 1: Housecleaning

 

No, don’t worry, I’m not going to send you for the duster! This is about you, your inner workings. To get started, please take a few minutes to review your results from part I.
 

Now ask yourself what you would like to leave behind in the 2010s. Write these things on a piece of paper, then tear it up and burn it. Or take a walk, pick up a stone and speak the things you’d like to leave behind into the stone, then hurl it into a brook or river.
 
 

Task 2: Call in the 20s

 

It’s time for the 20s! Get comfortable, take a deep breath, and take notes on the following questions, one by one:
 

  1. How would you like to feel in the coming decade?
  2. What passions would you like to prioritise?
  3. What do you want to focus most of your time and energy on?
  4. Who would you like to spend more time with?
  5. What would you like to say about your decade on the eve of 2030?

the 20s

Photo by Cris Trung on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Get specific

 

Now it’s time to set goals. Ask yourself what you’ll have to do and achieve in the coming year, in order to create this decade the way you just decided in Task 2.
 

Set up to three goals for the year each in the areas of Health, Finances, Job/Business, Relationships, Spirituality, Passions. Then determine the first step for each of these goals and schedule to take it within the next 72 hours.

Get Ready For The 20s – Part I


 

Abstract:
 

Every year around this time, posts on social media proclaim it’s been the worst year ever, and the next is going to be great. Some do this year after year, without realising that change is up to themselves in many cases.
 

Your mission is to review the ending decade, and to get ready for the 20s.
 
 

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Task 1: The good and the bad

 

For this task, write down all your personal highlights of the last 10 years: A dream job, wedding, a great holiday etc. Make it at least five for the decade, but not much more than one per year. Also note which year these things happened, or started, in.
 

Next, you do the same for the low points of the decade. Again, find between five for the whole decade, and one per year. Write them down by year.
 
 

Task 2: The timeline

 

Now you create a graph. On the horizontal axis, write the years 2010-2019. On the vertical one, the numbers 1-10. Anything above 5 is a positive event, anything below is negative.
 

Enter the highlights you noted down in Task 1, according to their year and how amazing they were (between 6 and 10). Then connect the dots – quite literally – to create a graph of all the best times this past decade.
 

Next you do the same with the low points. Connect these into a graph line as well.
 

the 20s

Photo by Paul Gilmore on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Gratitude and lessons for the 20s

 

Looking at your graphs, write down what you’re grateful for. The things you enjoyed, the highlights, maybe even some good outcomes from an initially low point in your life.
 

Next, write down the lessons you’ve learned. Think about how you were ten years ago, and how you are now. In what ways have you changed as a result of what happened? What have you learned?
 

Take your time with this. Also, save your paper, because you’ll need it in the second part, which will set you up for the 20s.

When Not To Use Positive Thinking


 

Abstract:
 

What? After all, you’ve heard me say numerous times that a focus on the positive makes for a happier, more productive life.
 

I still stand by this. But I’d like to once again fight the mistaken belief that in order to be successful or achieve anything, you have to be relentlessly positive. Apart from the fact that it’s impossible, it’s also not healthy or conducive to happiness.
 

Your mission is to learn where and how to use positive thinking.
 
 

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Task 1: Learn when not to use positive thinking

 

Here are two examples of situations where trying to force positivity does more harm than good.
 

  1. Calamities. Someone you love has died. An earthquake has destroyed your home. When life throws shit at you, don’t “keep smiling”. Suppressing emotions is damaging for your psychological health, so allow your feelings. All of them. Get help if needed.
  2. Mental illness. You can’t use positive thinking to overcome depression. Depression is not just a bad mood you need to “get over”, and neither are other mental illnesses or remnants of trauma. Give yourself the time and space to heal, and again, get the help you need.

 

positive thinking

Photo by Simone Viani on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Develop a positive attitude

 

The realm of positive thinking is in your everyday life, and around everyday challenges. It takes time to develop an attitude that’ll have you habitually look on the bright side, but it’s not something you’re either born with or not – you can learn this. Here are three ways to get started.
 

  1. Gratitude: Every day, take a few minutes to feel gratitude.
  2. Mind the gap: Use the famous gap between what happens and your reaction (I’ve found it! It was Viktor Frankl), to consciously choose a positive approach.
  3. 3. The big picture: A situation might seem overwhelming now, but think how you’ll see it a year from now.

 

Habits take time to form. Stay committed, and your life and happiness will transform.

4 Ways To Get Into Action Mode


 

Abstract:
 

It’s no secret that I adore Steven Pressfield. If you haven’t read The War of Art, Do the Work or his latest, Turning Pro yet, go and get them! They’re huge eye-openers and very actionable loving kicks-in-the-butt to get you going on what lights you up.
 

There’s one sentence in particular from Turning Pro that I’ve underlined five times in my copy: “The sure sign of an amateur is he has a million plans and they all start tomorrow.” Hands up who knows this phenomenon?
 

Your mission today is to break out of inertia and get into action mode.
 
 

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Task 1: Understand it’s not about how good you are

 

Here’s what “pro” doesn’t mean: It doesn’t mean that you have to make your passion your profession or business. You needn’t earn your living with it. Whilst this is definitely possible – and if it’s your dream, I’m cheering you on all the way – it’s not what “turning pro” refers to.
 

What does it refer to? Your attitude. It’s what I mean when I tell you to prioritise your passion. We have usefulness drummed into us from childhood, so if something isn’t any “use” in terms of making money, it automatically becomes an afterthought.
 

This idea is destroying our happiness.
 

Action Mode

Photo by nikidinov on pixabay.com


 

Task 2: Get into action mode

 

Your passion is what lights you up and also lights the way to your purpose. It deserves a “pro” attitude. Here are four ways to get there:
 

  1. Calculate how much time you spend on unnecessary things every day (social media, pleasing others, things you’d rather not do or could outsource). Eliminate these things.
  2. Get coaching. Seriously. Nothing gets you into action mode faster.
  3. Do one thing for your passion today. Just one. But it has to be today. As a bonus, schedule this step in your calendar.
  4. Find others who share your passion.

 

Make a decision, right now, that you’re a pro at your passion(s). And then start.

3 Steps To Dialling Up Your Happiness Meter


 

Abstract:
 

Have you ever wondered why some people seem happier than others? You may think, d’oh, they’re probably rich and healthy. But that assumption doesn’t hold up to research.
 

If you’re like most people, you have experienced periods of intense happiness. However, that often doesn’t last, although circumstances might not have changed.
 

Your mission today is to learn how to increase your capacity for happiness.
 
 

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Task 1: The happiness thermostat

 

“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” -Abraham Lincoln
 

I don’t think this is quite true, as happiness is not just a matter of the mind. However, it seems that we all have an internal happiness setting that we subconsciously strive to maintain. Gay Hendricks calls it the “Upper Limit”.
 

Your happiness tends to follow the setting of your own inner thermostat. It works both way: If something happens to make you very sad, after a while you’ll return to normal. Similarly, if something happens which lifts you above your usual happiness levels, you’ll eventually return to your personal setting.
 

Your Happiness

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: 3 Steps to change your happiness habits

 

It’s as simple and as difficult as changing the settings on your happiness barometer. Simple, because it’s not hard to understand. Hard, because it’s like pedalling a bike uphill. You could call it your happiness habit.
 

Here are 3 steps to get you started:

  1. Pursue your passion. You know that one was coming, didn’t you? But you see, it works. It’s also an excellent way of detecting if something’s wrong.
  2. The Gratitude habit. Write down three or five things you’re grateful for every evening before you go to bed. Don’t just write it, though, really feel the emotion of gratitude.
  3. Get Coaching. Sound lame, coming from a Coach? I’m recommending it because Coaching is the best method for changing habits and sticking things out over the required period of time to make the change permanent.