Obstacles: Just A Test, Or A Sign It’s The Wrong Path?


 

Abstract:
 

When you work on your passion or your purpose and obstacles show up, some self-help experts say it’s a test of how serious you are. Others tell you to go with the flow, and if it doesn’t flow anymore, it’s a sign that your goal wasn’t meant for you in the first place.
 

So what’s true? The answer is, as usual: Both. The tricky bit is learning to know when you need to dig in your heels, and when you should quit.
 

Your mission is to learn how to tell the difference.
 
 

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Task 1: Check your alignment

 

Whether it’s a passion, a goal or your life purpose: If they are really yours, then they’ll be aligned with your chosen lifestyle.
 

Example: You have a family with young kids, and the passion you’re working on involves a lot of travel to distant places. It’s certainly possible, but if you value lots of quality time with your children, it might not be the best match for you.
 

Ask yourself how you want to live. On your own, with a partner, with a family? Do you want to stay put or try out living in different places or countries? Choose your goals and purpose accordingly.
 

obstacles

Photo by Bart Larue on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Feel your way around the obstacle

 

This one requires you to know yourself fairly well. Take a few deep breaths and relax. Then think of your situation. Don’t dwell on the obstacles too much, but on your goal, the passion you’re pursuing or the life purpose you’re trying to live.
 

Place your hand on your stomach. How do you feel inside? Does it feel scary, but exciting and expansive? Or is it a constrictive feeling, like a knot in your stomach or like you almost can’t breathe?
 

Your reaction gives you your answer. It’s almost always accurate. Fear is universal, but how this fear actually feels deep down, tells you if it’s worth sticking with your goal in spite of obstacles.

Get Set For The Last 3 Months Of 2019


 

Abstract:
 

¾ of 2019 are over! Maybe you’re flying and your goals for the year are well underway. Maybe you lost track of them and feel too ashamed to even look. Or perhaps you never set goals in the first place?
 

It doesn’t matter where you stand, if you just bear with me, I’ll show you how you can make the most of the last three months of 2019.
 
 

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Task 1: The whys and wherefores of goals

 

Why would you set goals? Because the 2% of people who have written goals they review regularly, are by far the most successful, happy, and content humans on the planet.
 

Let’s break this down.
 

  • Have goals: “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” -Jim Rohn
  • Written: It’s not enough to decide to do something. There’s magic in putting it in writing.
  • Regular reviews: Goals are achieved, or need an extension, or become irrelevant. Set regular reminders (a few weeks ago, I talked about using your calendar!) to review and update your goals.

 

goals review

Photo by Isaac Smith on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Celebrate your goals review

 

This task is twofold: First, take some time and get comfortable. Light some candles if you like, put on soft music, and if you’re part of a couple, absolutely involve your partner in this. Then do the following.
 

  1. If you don’t have written goals yet: Do the Life Audit and afterwards, set yourself 1 or 2 goals per life area, that will improve your score in that area.
  2. If you have written goals: Put them in front of yourself.
  • Note any progress.
  • Eliminate goals that no longer have meaning.
  • Celebrate goals you’ve achieved.
  • Set the next step for each goal.
  • Lastly, schedule in your calendar when you’ll take these next steps, and when your next goals review is going to be (I suggest 1 month from now).

If Not Now, When? 3 Steps Towards Your Best Life


 

Abstract:
 

Happy second half of 2019!
 

If you’re like me (and around 2% of the population), you’ve got written goals you review every quarter. And if you’re not like me, today is a great time to start writing down goals.
 

But this isn’t just about dreaming and writing down. This is about taking action. A goal you don’t work to achieve, remains a dream.
 

Your mission is to set/review your goals and take the first steps towards your best life.
 
 

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Task 1: Lose the excuse

 

When it comes to setting goals and taking action, some people will always have a reason not to do it. The truth is, you’ll always find a reason (read: an excuse) if you want to – and similarly, you’ll always find a way if you’re really determined.
 

None of us is immortal. The only time you have is now, this day. If you don’t pursue your passion and create your best life today, your contribution to this world – your joy and love – might be lost forever.
 

You may not be able to perfectly prioritise your passion to the exclusion of everything else, but perfection is not the goal. Just getting started is.
 

3 steps towards your best life

Photo by Renata Adrienn on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Your goals and next steps to your best life

 

Step 1: Review your goals. If you don’t have any written goals yet, set goals and write them down for every area of your life.

Step 2: Determine what you’ll achieve in the next 90 days (three months). Break every goal down into a partial goal you can achieve within these three months.

Step 3: Write down one step you’ll do today, or within 72 hours. For each goal, write down this first step, and once this video is over, start putting that step into practice.
 

The 72 hours are important: if you don’t take action within that period, the chances you ever will are practically zero. As Nike put it, just do it!

What Your Life Could Look Like

dream life

I’ve always had big dreams. When I was a teenager in Germany, I dreamed of visiting Ireland. As a university student, I spent two years in Ireland and later moved here altogether. From childhood on, I knew I wanted to see other countries, and during my 20s and 30s, I lived and worked in four different countries.
 

When I discovered Coaching and experienced the fastest and most profound personal growth in my life with the help of my first-ever Coach, I knew I’d found my calling. Years later, I became a Coach myself, eventually studying for and gaining a recognised qualification in Personal and Executive Coaching. Then I dreamed of having more time and space for Coaching and my other passions and made that happen in 2015.
 

Now my dreams include growing my business and living a more sustainable life surrounded by people I love. I’m working on it, and I’d say that judging by my track record, I’ll achieve this one, too. It’s a wonderful feeling dreaming up one’s perfect life and then going for it. Nothing quite compares to it!
 

What does this mean for you? I’m going to attempt to paint you a picture and help you give shape to your own dreams, so you’ll be able to look at your life a few years from now and say: “That was when I first dreamt about xyz, and now I’ve achieved it.”
 
 

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There’s nothing wrong with you

 

Before I continue, I’d like to make one thing absolutely clear: I believe in dreams and always having a goal, but I don’t think people are broken or that their lives aren’t perfect the way they are. Too many self-styled “Coaches” try and tell you that your life’s all wrong and needs fixing (usually, followed by an offer to fix it for you – for a substantial amount of cash, of course).
 

I don’t believe in making people feel bad about themselves. Moreover, it’s my belief that everything happens in perfect timing and that we’re always exactly where we need to be in order to learn what we need to learn.
 

What’s even more important is the insight that this is simply the way life works. Everything that lives, grows (a tree that’s stopped growing, simply dies). Sometimes, we’ll find ourselves in situations, jobs, or relationships we don’t like. At other times, we’re on top of the world.
 

Wherever we stand at the time, it’s always a good thing have a dream in order to continue growing. It doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t like where we are. On the contrary, a dream is more powerful if it isn’t created out of desparation but out of a feeling of happiness and gratitude for the present.
 
 

A passion-centered life

 

Whatever your dreams for the future are, they probably include a very happy you. In my experience, human beings are happiest when they live aligned with their purpose, and that purpose is ususally connected to their passion (or multiple passions). In order to create a dream of a happy future, I therefore suggest you paint a picture of you focusing your life on what lights you up.
 

What would your days look like if they revolved around your passion? What would you do? Imagine money wasn’t an object, because believe me, it never is once someone truly puts their passion front and centre. Somehow, a solution always presents itself, even if you can’t see it just now. That’s why I suggest to not concern yourself with this particular detail.
 

Instead, pretend you didn’t have to worry about money or a place to stay at all. See a perfect day in your life, fulfilling your purpose and doing what lights you up. How would you feel first thing in the morning, when you wake up and realise you have only fun things to look forward to? What would you say to your loved ones during the day? What would you think about falling asleep at night?
 

Paint this picture in as much detail as possible. When I say “paint”, I don’t just mean you should imagine it like an actual picture, but to use all your senses. Hear the sounds, smell the scents, feel what you’re touching or holding. Bring the scene to life as much as you can.
 

Finally, it’s time to distill the main cornerstones of your dream and put them down in writing. Out of these, you can craft your next goals and go for them. Keep doing this, because life is too short to spend it without striving for something beautiful which excites you. You’re just like that tree: for as long as you live, you’ll grow and evolve, and you might as well do this consciously, after your own planning, rather than leaving it to chance.

Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work

Positive Thinking, Wild Spirits Coaching

Wait, what? Isn’t positive thinking the cure-all prescribed by countless self-help books and Coaches, including myself?
 

Not quite. Focusing on the positive is indeed beneficial. However, it can be actively harmful to believe that you can change your life by positive thinking only. If you’ve ever done any Coaching with me, you’ll know that mindset is just one of the factors which need to be in place. The same goes for all areas of life.
 

I see the attraction of a formula like: “All it takes is positive thinking”. Humans like simple truths. It’s like someone is offering to solve all your problems at the push of a button.
 

What if I showed you a slightly more complex, but still simple formula that actually works, instead?
 
 

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1. The framework

 

Many people either don’t bother with this step, because they think it’s not important, or they get stuck in doing this but nothing else. I challenge you to fall into neither of these groups and realise that this is a critical step – there’s a reason why it comes first – but it’ll only give you the results you wish for if you continue with the next steps afterwards.
 

The framework is what you could call the mind’s work. You need to get clear on what it is you want, and put your intention into writing. It’s where goals come into play.
 

Say you need more money. Your goal will be a certain amount of extra cash earned by a certain date (it’s important to give specifics. Vague goals like “more money” don’t work). It might also be to save a particular amount each month.
 

If your goal is to attract the partner of your dreams, state what you want from the relationship. I don’t recommend describing your ideal partner beyond a few general characteristics like kindness and honesty, because love famously often looks quite different from what we were expecting.
 

The most important part of this step is to put your goal into writing. Be as specific as you can and add a deadline to it.
 
 

2. Lighting the fuse

 

Now that you know exactly what it is you’re striving for, you’ve got to kindle a flame underneath your goal. This is where emotions come in. If your goal is only rational and resides in your brain, it won’t do you much good. Incidentally, this is why positive thinking alone doesn’t do much good! If it’s only in your head, you’ll have trouble manifesting your goal in the real world, because the world consists of more than just your rational mind.
 

Ways of getting excited about your goal include to daydream about it, share it with your best friend, go and look at the end result (for instance, if you want a house, you could drive around and look for houses which match your dream, or browse real-estate websites).
 

Infuse some fun and passion into this; the idea is to get fired up whenever you think of your goal! Don’t think that this is silly or inappropriate; emotion is what manifests things. If you are looking for a new job, you may not want to arrive at the interview giggling, but you do want to have a good laugh beforehand so you’ll arrive looking happy, relaxed, and confident.
 

Be playful and creative with this. Whatever you can think of – as long as it works, go for it! And if you have trouble coming up with anything, you may want to consider some Passions Priority Coaching.
 
 

3. Buckling down

 

This is the part most people don’t want to do. It’s what suspiciously looks like work, and often is. You could call it the physical part of making things happen.
 

Quite simply, you need to take action, and it should be focused and consistent. It may seem obvious, but think about it: How many people fall down here? How many times have you made plans in your mind and not followed through? Everyone is guilty of this every now and then.
 

The way to avoid your goals dissolving into thin air here, is to keep working on the first two areas, in the shape of regularly reviewing your goals and making adjustments where needed, and finding your joy and passion for them. This will keep you motivated to put in the actual work.
 

It might not be as easy as simple positive thinking, but it’s definitely not complicated! If you keep the three steps in mind, you’ll be able to pinpoint any issues faster and move past them.