Are Your Dreams Really Your Own?


 

Abstract:
 

A major value in our modern society is individualism. Almost everyone will proudly proclaim that they’re their own person, free and independent of other people’s opinions.
 

This narrative is so central to our culture that it’s hard for us to recognise and acknowledge to what extent we really are influenced by others. Your mission today is to find out what your dreams are like without anybody else’s influence.
 
 

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Task 1: Examine your dreams

 

To do this, you must first of all come to terms with the fact that yes, you are a product of the society you grew up in. Realise this isn’t a bad thing; humans need other humans to survive and thrive.
 

Acknowledge this and realise which part of your dreams and goals may be influenced by society. This is not to eliminate them! It’s simply important to have clarity about the origins of what you wish for.
 

Some examples of society’s norms and the goals based on them are:

  • Loving one’s family above everything else.
  • Finding your passion and making it your living.
  • Getting married and having kids.
  • Advancing in your job.
  • Material possessions such as a house, car etc.

your dreams

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Task 2: Navigate the unfamiliar

 

Again, wanting these things isn’t a bad thing, nor does it make you uncool. To a certain extent, it’s part of being human. We’re social beings and much as our upbringing contradicts it, we do depend on the group to survive.
 

Rather, once you realise you really do want something, it becomes unimportant whether anyone else wants it or not. You become sure of yourself. You feel calm, centered, purposeful.
 

Finding your true dreams can feel very unfamiliar at first, so be patient with yourself! Here are a few questions you might ask to identify them:

  • If money was no object and everyone I love was perfectly taken care of, what would I do every day?
  • Where would I live?
  • Who would I live with, if anyone?
  • What passion(s) would I pursue?
  • How would I contribute to society?

The answers give you clues on what truly meaningful goals might look like for you.

A Beautiful 2021 (Part 2/2)


 

Abstract:
 

In Part 1 two weeks ago, we reviewed and let go of the previous year. There was a lot to do, as it’s been such a weird and challenging year in many ways. Now it’s time to set ourselves up for 2021.
 

Especially if you struggled in 2020, it’s not enough to just say “good riddance” because unprocessed feelings have a habit of coming to haunt us. May sure you have closed off 2020 before you get ready for the next year.
 

Your mission today is to set yourself up for a beautiful 2021.
 
 

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Task 1: What success means to you

 

I said in the last episode that achievement isn’t just worldly or financial success. Getting through challenging times or battling issues is an achievment, too. We all have different challenges in life, which is why it’s imporant for you to define what success means to you.
 

Material success isn’t a bad thing, by the way. Receiving lots of abundance is beautiful! What I’m saying is, it isn’t the only kind of success we should acknowledge.
 

With a view to 2021, take a piece of paper and write down what success you wish to have. If it is “only” recovery health-wise or financially, or mentally, then that’s absolutely fine. Nobody gets to judge this.
 

beautiful 2021

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Task 2: A beautiful 2021

 

Now it’s time to get down to business. Write down everything you wish to do and achieve this year. Make it concrete: don’t write “more money” but instead a specific amount you wish to make.
 

Then write down the first steps you need to take. You don’t have to plan out the whole thing, just focus on the first steps. If you’re struggling with your mental health, write down your coping strategies and support system. Make sure to create enough room for it. If you strive for material success, write down what you need to do first to make it happen.
 

Lastly, plan and schedule when you’ll take the very first step towards your goals. Put it in your calendar and get started.

Set Some DUMB Goals


 

Abstract:
 

Happy New Year and decade! I hope you’ve arrived well in the 20s. I have, and I suspect it’s going to be a rocking, sexy, amazing decade.
 

To make sure of that, I’ve set some goals. Now, you’ve all heard of “SMART” goals, but I’m going to suggest you go against the grain. Your mission today is to set some DUMB goals and then set yourself up for achieving them.
 
 

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Task 1: Learn about DUMB goals

 

“Smart” goals have been invented for a corporate environment. The method is reasonable and rather uninspiring. In recent years, there’s been a cheeky counter-movement in the Coaching community, called DUMB goals:
 

Daring – Forget being realistic. Reach for the stars.
Uplifting – If it doesn’t give you butterflies, what’s the point?
Magnificent – Bigger goals inspire more than small ones.
Brave – Life’s too short to play it safe.
 
 

Task 2: Set the right goals for you

 

This is meant to give you goals that excite you, rather than feel like a chore. For example, in the category “health”, you may have set the SMART goal to reduce your body fat by 5% in six months. A DUMB goal might be to eat and move in a way that makes you burst with energy and feel your best instead.
 

Go through each of the categories: Health, Finances, Job/Business, Relationships, Spirituality, Passions, and audit the goals you set. If needed, spruce them up with the DUMB principles.
 

dumb goals

Photo by Jane Carmona on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Make it fun

 

You know I always tell you to do the first step within 72 hours. I’m still telling you this, but now your challenge is to find something to do that inspires you, rather than just some mechanical first step. Look at each goal and determine something you could do that’s fun, something you’ll look forward to.
 

Write down these first steps and schedule them today, tomorrow, or the day after. If it’s not in your calendar, it isn’t real! And then get going.

Get Ready For The 20s – Part II


 

Abstract:
 

If you’ve missed part I, please take some time to do this first; you’ll need your results from it! This week, your mission is to set yourself up for the best decade of your life so far.
 

Looking ahead doesn’t have to be mere wishful thinking. A significant part of the future is down to you, and that’s reassuring to know, but it’s also a big responsibility. Here’s how to stack the deck in your favour.
 
 

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Task 1: Housecleaning

 

No, don’t worry, I’m not going to send you for the duster! This is about you, your inner workings. To get started, please take a few minutes to review your results from part I.
 

Now ask yourself what you would like to leave behind in the 2010s. Write these things on a piece of paper, then tear it up and burn it. Or take a walk, pick up a stone and speak the things you’d like to leave behind into the stone, then hurl it into a brook or river.
 
 

Task 2: Call in the 20s

 

It’s time for the 20s! Get comfortable, take a deep breath, and take notes on the following questions, one by one:
 

  1. How would you like to feel in the coming decade?
  2. What passions would you like to prioritise?
  3. What do you want to focus most of your time and energy on?
  4. Who would you like to spend more time with?
  5. What would you like to say about your decade on the eve of 2030?

the 20s

Photo by Cris Trung on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Get specific

 

Now it’s time to set goals. Ask yourself what you’ll have to do and achieve in the coming year, in order to create this decade the way you just decided in Task 2.
 

Set up to three goals for the year each in the areas of Health, Finances, Job/Business, Relationships, Spirituality, Passions. Then determine the first step for each of these goals and schedule to take it within the next 72 hours.

Obstacles: Just A Test, Or A Sign It’s The Wrong Path?


 

Abstract:
 

When you work on your passion or your purpose and obstacles show up, some self-help experts say it’s a test of how serious you are. Others tell you to go with the flow, and if it doesn’t flow anymore, it’s a sign that your goal wasn’t meant for you in the first place.
 

So what’s true? The answer is, as usual: Both. The tricky bit is learning to know when you need to dig in your heels, and when you should quit.
 

Your mission is to learn how to tell the difference.
 
 

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Task 1: Check your alignment

 

Whether it’s a passion, a goal or your life purpose: If they are really yours, then they’ll be aligned with your chosen lifestyle.
 

Example: You have a family with young kids, and the passion you’re working on involves a lot of travel to distant places. It’s certainly possible, but if you value lots of quality time with your children, it might not be the best match for you.
 

Ask yourself how you want to live. On your own, with a partner, with a family? Do you want to stay put or try out living in different places or countries? Choose your goals and purpose accordingly.
 

obstacles

Photo by Bart Larue on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Feel your way around the obstacle

 

This one requires you to know yourself fairly well. Take a few deep breaths and relax. Then think of your situation. Don’t dwell on the obstacles too much, but on your goal, the passion you’re pursuing or the life purpose you’re trying to live.
 

Place your hand on your stomach. How do you feel inside? Does it feel scary, but exciting and expansive? Or is it a constrictive feeling, like a knot in your stomach or like you almost can’t breathe?
 

Your reaction gives you your answer. It’s almost always accurate. Fear is universal, but how this fear actually feels deep down, tells you if it’s worth sticking with your goal in spite of obstacles.