Do It For The Love Of It


 

Abstract:
 

Earlier this year, I started learning Croatian and people couldn’t understand. Was I going out with someone from Croatia? Doing business there?
 

None of these applied. I just did it for the sheer, wild joy of learning and my love of languages. People didn’t get it because these aren’t proper “reasons” in their minds.
 

The funny thing is that I’m now moving to Croatia, but that’s not what I was planning all those months ago when I decided to sign up for the language course.
 

Your mission today is to recognise our programming, and find something to do for the sake of joy.
 
 

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Task 1: Spot the phony beliefs

 

Remember: Beliefs are things we think are true, when actually they’re just a belief. They’re hard to spot, especially when it’s a belief that’s shared by most of society.
 

This one is practically universal, and it basically says that a “good” reason must be practical and tangible in some way. Joy isn’t taken seriously.
 

Why is this relevant? Because we all have this belief ingrained in us subconsciously, and it’s sabotaging our ability to prioritise what lights us up.
 

For The Love Of It

Photo by Frank Busch on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Do it for the love of it

 

When I say to prioritise passions, it’s easy to get people to agree with the concept. What they don’t get is what priority actually means.
 

Lots of people are good at doing what lights them up. Making more time for your passion is great, kudos to you. But the reason they need my support is that to actually dare prioritise the thing that gives you joy, is an act of rebellion. It exposes you to all sorts of judgment.
 

Professional artists, musicians etc are often not taken seriously. But if your passion is “only” your hobby – well, don’t you dare prioritise it. Work and income are the gods we worship!
 

Your task is to find something to do just for the love of it. If you do make money with your passion, find something else to also give priority to, to reinforce the new belief that joy is indeed worth the effort.

Does Money Kill Your Joy?


 

Abstract:
 

In my yearly survey, Wild Spirits regularly tell me that money is their biggest obstacle to success. Yet my money-related features are always the least viewed of all. One member of the Wild Spirits community told me: “You’re all about joy and passion, Sibylle, and to me, finances are the opposite of these things.”
 

I relate. In fact, I used to think the exact same thing, before I found a better way. Your mission today is to make finances a passion, or at least, to bring joy to your money management.
 
 

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Task 1: How does money kill your joy?

 

No, I won’t let you get away with “money just sucks”. Money buys life-saving medical equipment, trips to exciting new places, and tickets to your favourite musician’s concert.
 

Money is brilliant.
 

D’you know when money sucks? When there isn’t enough of it. It’s time you get to the reason for it – not your low-paying job or the cost of childcare, the real reason.
 

  • How was money talked about when you were a child?
  • What do you think about rich people?
  • What difference would an extra 100,000 make to the passion(s) in your life?

 

Does Money Kill Your Joy?

Photo by Pine Watt on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Rewrite and reframe

 

It’s time to rewrite your money story. Look at your beliefs and start poking holes into them.
 

Then, it’s time to associate finances with joy. There are many ways of doing this; here are a few suggestions:
 

  • Get online banking and check your savings regularly, watching them grow with the interest.
  • Make a celebration of your monthly budgeting session with tea, candles, a treat, some quality time with your partner, dreams of the future etc.
  • Get a beautiful new wallet in gorgeous colours to give your cash a pretty home.
  • Try the envelope system of budgeting (google it) and get pretty colourful envelopes for it.
  • Have a monthly “Play” budget to blow on something fun.

It’s Not What You Do, It’s How You Do It


 

Abstract:
 

I was watching a TED talk by climber Alex Honnold when a realisation hit me. Basically, what he describes is the reason why I’m doing my work, my Coaching.
 

He described how he successfully completed a hugely challenging climb. Despite his success, he was left unsatisfied, because he had been struggling, afraid, and at one point he nearly fell to his death. So he worked on his next challenge for years, to make sure he’d complete it with ease and joy.
 

“It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it”.
 

Your mission today is to find out how you want to get to your dream life.
 
 

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Task 1: Find your goals and passion(s)

 

This is where you pull out your written goals and review them. Don’t have written goals? Get to writing them down, and then put reminders into your calendar to review them regularly. The 2% of people who do this are the most successful and happy folks on the planet.
 

Where do you want to be a year from now? Three, five years from now? What do you want to do, be, and have?
 

What lights you up? Make a list of things. This isn’t about hobbies – hobbies are great, enjoying a walk in nature is great, but if it isn’t something that makes you blissful and lets you forget time, it’s not a passion.
 

Photo by Mi Pham on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Find out how you do it (or want to)

 

Someone wise said the goal isn’t as important as the person you become whilst you’re working to achieve it. So, what person do you want to become?
 

How do you want to get there? With struggle and pain, or with ease and joy? This is where passions come in, and is the reason why I emphasise them so much. If you’re lit up, every type of work and progress becomes easier, more joyful and more meaningful.

Your Future Self Calls And Says…


 

Abstract:
 

“Hi!”
 

Ok, seriously. There have definitely been times in my own life when I felt like I wasn’t moving forward. I tried to go self-employed and went back to employement only months later because it just wasn’t feasible. One year, I applied for a mortgage and was turned down.
 

I have a mortgage now. I’m also moving towards transitioning out of my daytime job, and this time I’ll actually be able to live on what I’m making. If I could reach back in time and talk to myself five or ten years ago, I’d tell her to hold out, to pursue passions, to focus on joy, and to trust the process.
 

What would your future self say to you if they could see you right now?
 
 

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Task 1: Where are you now?

 

Determine where you stand in each area of life (the Life Audit is a great way of doing that!): personal, financial, health-wise, regarding your passions… Be honest.
 

Don’t use this exercise to pass judgment on yourself. Instead, assume the viewpoint of an outside observer, evaluating your life as objectively as possible.
 
 

Task 2: Where do you want to be?

 

We’re talking pipe dreams here. In an absolutely ideal dream-life, where would you be in each of the categories?
 

Be very specific. “Rich” or “a millionaire” doesn’t cut it. “Living off interest to the tune of 5,000 a month” is more like it.
 

Your Future Self Calls

Photo by Johannes Plenio on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Ask your future self

 

Now imagine you got visited by your own self from ten years in the future. She knows your results from Tasks 1 and 2, because she is you. What would she tell you (if you have trouble imagining this, then first try and imagine what you’d tell your past self)?
 

It can help looking into a mirror for this, and actually talking to your mirror image. Make a note of your wisdom, and think of ways to use this knowledge today.

Monday Sparkles: Information Overload vs Action

Information overload, coaching, pursue your passion
A few years back, I went to see Peter Gabriel live (again), and in between two songs he talked about, in his typical insightful way, how these days dictators can no longer get away with “disappearing” people in secret. People will spread the news via the internet to every corner of the earth. He went on to say that ordinary people have never been so powerful, and that we have yet to realise the full extent of that power we hold through modern media.

I’m tickled by the potential, the endless possibilities of this. In a way, I already participate in this with my one-woman freelance business which is conducted through Skype, with people from all over the world, people I never would have connected with if it wasn’t for the internet. Peter Gabriel is right, we have only just scratched the surface of what we can do.

There is, however, a danger inherent in the immediate accessibility of information. That danger is that we will get better and better informed all the time, learn more and more, but fail to actually do anything. And with the constant bombardment from advertising and cute but pointless Social Media stories, we often end up spending a disproportionate amount of time on trivial bits of “news” instead of taking action and living our own lives.
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Information Overload

Have you ever scrolled through Facebook, commented, reacted, clicked and read articles, and suddenly realised you just spent two full hours doing nothing but stare at your computer (or phone)? It’s scary how these things can eat up your time, even if the articles you’ve been reading were actually useful.

Marie Forleo says: “Clarity comes through engagement, not thought.” We try to figure out our lives and move forward, and to that end we tend to collect and consume more information and learning, hoping that this will give us direction and purpose. In reality, though, only action – moving forward, making mistakes, performing course corrections and gaining ever more experience – will give us the clarity we crave.

 

Striking the balance

Some people reject the internet and especially Social Media altogether, but that’s throwing out the baby with the bathwater. I don’t think we should forego all the amazing benefits of the internet just because we can’t restrain ourselves and “overdose” on information. In the following, I give you some steps to take towards sanity and a productive balance between information and action.

Be smart with your online time. I used to have my email open in one tab and Facebook in another at all times when I was at the computer. Every time I saw a new notification or email, I’d interrupt what I was working on and check it out compulsively. It scattered my focus and made my work take twice as long.

These days, I check email and my social media accounts three times a day. When I receive newsletters (yes, I too am subscribed to some newsletters, just like you read Monday Sparkles!), I save them in a special folder and read them in the half-hour I have allocated each day for “educational reading”. I quickly scan through offers and promotions, reply to business and personal emails, look through my social media accounts, respond to comments etc, and then I close these tabs again. Done.

To cut it short: I recommend using the internet, but use it on your own terms and in your own time.

Spend “offline” time with people who matter. I have recently ramped up my work on my Coaching business, and whilst this is one of my passions and lights me up, it also means more time spent on my own, working, because I also have a daytime job. To balance this, I make a conscious effort to have fun in between, and most especially to meet friends “in the flesh” regularly. I often don’t feel like I’m missing something and only afterwards realise how good it’s done me to actually hug and talk to people I love.

To cut it short: Your passions are important, but so are the people in your life. Make sure to spend quality time with loved ones regularly.

Take action. Forget waiting for the right time, or until you’re ready. If you want to do something, start! Get Coaching (the shortcut to action!), get a teacher, do whatever it takes to get into action mode. If you just keep reading and learning about it, you might get smarter but you’re no step closer to actually living what you really want.

To cut it short: Stop overthinking and take a first step towards your goal today. You can thank me later!