Have you ever tried to keep up some kind of positive routine? Ever tried to eat healthy when everyone around you celebrated junk food and alcohol? Or to pursue your passion and consciously seek joy when TV and stress are the norm? I don’t know about you, but I fail fairly regularly.
Being aware and conscious and making good choices can feel like a constant uphill struggle. It’s like “normality” pulls us back down more effectively than gravity connects us to the surface of our planet. I choose quotes around “normality” because it is, of course, BS. What we think of as a normal life has been established within the last 100-200 years, tops. It’s not even particularly suited to humans, this way of life we’ve chosen, and yet it’s anchored in our heads as the way the world works and the only possible life.
If you’re committed to positive change, you automatically set yourself up for what can feel like hard work. You are constantly swimming against the tide of the rest of society. Add to that our human tendency to take the path of least resistance with ourselves, and suddenly the sofa and a TV series look a lot more appealing than that book you’re trying to write or your dancing shoes.
There’s a very good reason though why this is so, and ways to make it easier for you to stick with what brings you joy. Let me show you!
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Circling for empowerment
Humans are herd animals. On our own, we’re actually fairly weak and not very suited to survival. The way homo sapiens survived from the beginning of our existence, was by banding together in groups, and this behaviour is deeply ingrained in our subconscious.
Of course, in today’s society the individual is celebrated, because we’ve created a much safer way of life and are no longer in danger of being eaten by wild animals. However, we still have that urge to stick together. It’s been with us for tens of thousands of years; a habit that has been so long established and used to be this crucial to survival, is not so easily broken.
It’s this which can pull us down when we try to soar in joy and fulfillment, but the same mechanic can also work in our favour. Basically, in order to succeed at anything, we need the support of other humans. It’s not a weakness or a lack of individuality, it’s simply the way we are hard-wired to operate. Coaching is of course one way of getting support. Another is circling.
When I say “circling”, I mean a wide variety of activities. Basically, I would count as a circle any type of group coming together regularly with a similar goal. I’ll give you a few examples of groups, but in reality, the possibilities are endless! Find something which works for you, and transforming your life will be a breeze.
I’ll start with the most powerful way of circling. A mastermind is a group of people who support each other to reach certain goals. Often, it’s business people who meet either in person, or online (or by phone conference) to share goals, brainstorm possible solutions to a challenge one of them might be facing, and support each other. Masterminds are so powerful, people spend hundreds per month to be part of one.
The concept is applicable to everything, though – people who pursue their passions, for example! Why not brainstorm ways of creating space for passions every day, and support to stick with doing what you love? The possibilities are endless.
Hobby groups, drumming circles, etc.
Two of my best friends joined a drum circle and couldn’t shut up about it. There’s something incredibly empowering about sitting with others and drumming out a free rhythm which will eventually merge into a group rhythm, a voice beyond the individual’s. It’s synergy in motion.
There are all sorts of hobby and interest groups if your passion is something shareable. There are crafting groups, knitting circles, dance groups, you name it. The great thing about those is that the fees are mostly nominal – usually just the cost of the room you’re meeting in.
Women are still brought up to be competitive with each other. Society can be rather toxic for us! Really, there’s nothing more powerful than a bunch of women who unconditionally support each other.
Ever since the 70s, women circling have been changing communities and more importantly, women’s own hearts and lives. More recently, the “Red Tent” movement (google it) has brought forth safe spaces for women to express themselves and evolve in. Get up, get going, and get involved! You’ll wonder how you ever did without.