Beyond Frugality: Money Abundance For 2020


 

Abstract:
 

People aren’t too fond of learning about money. Too much of the advice around finances focuses on self-denial and frugal living.
 

It can be frustrating when you try to focus on your passion(s). A lot of the time you need to spend money: on equipment, materials, tuition… The expenses add up quickly.
 

What if I told you that tapping into abundance is the opposite of self-denial? It may sound unbelievable, but don’t stop listening just yet. I’ll show you exactly how it works.
 

Your mission is to learn and apply the principles of joyful money for your passions.
 
 

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Task 1: Learn why self-denial doesn’t work

 

Most people try to save money and never manage. Every time they get ahead, something happens to eat up all their money again. I was once in this sitution myself, and I know it sucks.
 

Nor am I going to tell you that you can just will yourself out. The truth is, it’s absolutely possible to change your financial destiny, but it requires some dedication and consistency.
 

Self-denial is counterproductive, because it is restrictive and limiting. You won’t create flow by building barriers. It’s as though two opposing forces of nature were at work.
 

Money Abundance

Photo by Daniil Silantev on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Tap into money abundance

 

Instead of focusing on the lack of money and what you can’t do or buy, focus on what you can and what you already have. Here’s some inspiration to get you started:
 

  • Every time you pay something, say or think: “There’s more where that money came from.” (I learned this from Marie Forleo)
  • Give away 5% of your income. Find a worthy cause or donate spontaneously each month.
  • Create a Passions budget of 5-10% of your income.

You may also look into increasing your earnings and learning to budget, as well as improve your mindset long-term. Take a look at my Money abundance program, read books on personal finances, educate yourself about investing. If you work on it consistently, you’ll notice a huge shift.

Who Owns You Really?


 

Abstract:
 

This might sound crazy. After all, if you’re watching this video, you’re almost certainly not a slave physically owned by anyone else!
 

I’m not talking about actual slavery, but entirely different, subtle forms of ownership. In our day and age, this usually happens through money.
 

Your mission today is to become aware of who owns you, and then minimise the outside influence.
 
 

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Task 1: Become clear on who owns you

 

Of course we are no longer physically owned by someone who can literally buy and sell us, harm and even kill us. And yet there are people and organisations that have a claim on parts of your life.
 

If you’re employed, large parts of your time belong to your employer. If you pay off a mortgage or buy anything in installments, you have effectively given away power.
 

This isn’t always a bad thing, but it’s something you need to be aware of. Create a list of everything you’re paying off or owe.
 

who owns you

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Task 2: Take back ownership

 

A bank can take fairly drastic measures against you if you default on loan payments or a mortgage. Here are some steps you can take to gain back control.
 

Check the list from Task 1 so you’re fully aware of who owns you – or part of you and your time.
 

  • Separate the wheat from the chaff: For example, if you have a small child, they have a claim on you but that’s not ownership, it’s a natural and temporary duty of care.
  • Follow the money: Some forms of lending are good (mortgages can make a lot of sense, depending on the circumstances). But if you live in your overdraft or have loans for items, you need to re-assess.
  • Get smart about your money: read books, take coaching, go to a financial advisor. Create a plan on how to take back control bit by bit. It won’t happen overnight, so you need long-term support.

One Question To Ask If You’re Always Short Of Money/Time

Short of Money and Time

One thing I love about Coaching is that it’s a gentle discipline. It’s the most powerful tool I know of to completely revolutionise and transform a life, but it doesn’t usually need to use harsh methods to accomplish this. Very occasionally, though, my Coach can be a little in-your-face about things.
 

There was one time when I hit a wall with my beliefs about money, beliefs I’d carried since childhood, which were seriously limiting my financial abundance back then. I had worked on them before but like a boomerang, the beliefs came back around and hit me in the face. Then my Coach asked something monumental:
 

“How does being broke serve you? What about it makes you so reluctant to let it go?”
 

My first reaction was protest. This was ludicrous: Being broke is awful, I don’t choose to be short of money! As I sat and thought about it, though, I realised that parts of me were ashamed to rise above so many of my equally skint friends, and worried I’d lose them if I became wealthy. I also felt like I was trying to be more than my family have ever been.
 

Ouch!
 

Of course, you may not have these beliefs at all. However, if you’ve been struggling with your finances for more than a year or so, chances are you’re getting something out of it. The same goes if you’re constantly pressed for time, always stressed, always busy.
 
 

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The hidden benefit

 

A heads-up before I say any more: You’re likely to feel a lot of resistance about this, just like I did that time with my Coach. I invite you to bear with me for a moment and just remain open to the possibility. Can you do that?
 

With this openness, look at your life. Is there anything that you know doesn’t serve you? Any external circumstance that just seems inevitable, that you’ve been unable to shift? There might be “really good reasons” for it, but don’t dismiss it, please. If you know it doesn’t serve you and it’s still there, it’s a candidate for what I call hidden benefits.
 
 

Which one is you?

 

Ask yourself how this annoyance serves you. Here are some examples of what you might come up with, but in truth, your reasons might look completely different, so simply take these as inspiration:
 

  • Always being stressed and having too much on your plate makes you feel accomplished and in charge. It gives you the good feeling that you’re doing something in your life, that you’re going places.
  • Having no time keeps you in that comfortable place where you can say you’ll pursue your passion just as soon as the “busy period” is over (though in reality, it never seems to be over at all), without having to face the scary aspects of actually going for your dreams.
  • Being short of money can have the same effect: You’ll pursue your passion and live your dreams once you can afford it. By staying broke, you won’t have to actually step up and do it, risking failure, disappointment, and change.
  • You may have grown up in an environment that looks down on people with money, so you’re subconsciously making sure not to become one of the “filthy rich”.
  • You may have grown up with values that include hard work, and internalised the belief that you’re only a successful human being if you always keep busy.
  • You’re afraid your friends will think you’re greedy and not really passionate about what lights you up, if you start making money from your passion.

 

Discomfort is your friend

 

How do you move past these ingrained beliefs? I have to admit that I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without my Coach, so if you’re having a hard time with it, I warmly recommend getting some support! In any case, finally leaving behind what doesn’t serve you will require you to leave your comfort zone behind.
 

Find actions which make you uneasy around the area where you’re stuck. If you’re downright afraid to do something, or simply “don’t feel like it” for no obvious reason, although it might advance what you really want, you need to buckle down and do it. Warning, this is really, really uncomfortable! It’s also the No. 1 reason why so many people get stuck in situations they hate.
 

It requires discipline, a lot of self-love, and persistence, but you can change your finances and how much free time you have. Stick with it, and you’ll surprise yourself with how much easier it gets after only a short time.

Plug Your Money Leaks (and have fun with it)

Personal Finances, Money Leak

There was nothing fun about going broke and having a large, powerful bank breathing down my neck. And yet, it led to massive personal growth for me. I got my act together and learned about personal finances (and of course, paid back every last cent I owed), and I learned incredibly useful lessons along the way.
 

Easily the best and most useful of these lessons was the realisation how much stuff I don’t need in my life. My clothes didn’t fall apart even after three years. I didn’t need to order in pizza, I could bake the frozen version from the supermarket just fine. I realised with relief, that neither my happiness nor my self-worth depended on anything I needed money for.
 

It also taught me a lot about my spending style, and the reasons why I had always been terrible with money up until then. One major point is what I call “money leaks”, and it’s so big, I decided to dedicate an entire article to it. Heads up: If you identify and plug the places where you’re “leaking money”, you’ll end up with much more, without penny-pinching.
 
 

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Identifying your money leaks

 

We all have different spending habits. That’s why it’s important to track your spending for a while. Don’t worry, you won’t have to write down every croissant you buy forever! Just stick with it for a month and see what you can learn from it.
 

A lot of money advice seems to focus on frugality. My approach is a little different: I recommend you save money in order to finance more joy with it! Plugging the money leaks is much easier this way.
 

A money leak is an expense that’s not strictly necessary and doesn’t contribute to your joy and passion (or passions) in the long term. In the following, I’m going to give you a list of common leaks, in order to give you an idea. Yours might be completely different, of course, but it’ll be easier for you to spot them once you know what to look for.
 
 

Subscriptions

 

These are recurring, often monthly, expenses which seem completely insignificant on their own. How much can those few bucks for Netflix really hurt? The problem is, that it’s a constant “leak”, and if you add up all your subscriptions, the amount you spend on them per year can be rather frightening.
 

The solution: Ask yourself if you can get the same thing for free. Could you pool your Netflix account with a friend, or watch the same shows on DVDs a friend owns and could lend you? Do you get a newspaper whose main articles are all available online for free? Is your TV really enhancing your life, or taking time from your reading and your passion? Are you paying for an anti-virus program when a free one would work, too?
 
 

Clubs and gym memberships

 

Do you still pay for that gym membership although you’ve stopped going six months ago? Or do you pay for a social club whose meetings you hardly ever attend? It might be time to weed those out.
 

The solution: The gym is not the only way to get into shape. Look for online workout videos and find a sports hobby you actually enjoy. Try running with a friend or playing volleyball with a group at a public volleyball court. You’re more likely to stick with it this way, and it won’t cost you a thing!
 
 

Special offers

 

Certain shops and websites run regular offers which are so cheap, it seems insane not to buy them. The problem is that this tricks you into buying things you would never have got otherwise, and a lot of the time you end up buying additional stuff, spending even more.
 

The solution: Before you hit the “Add to Cart” button, ask yourself if this pretty porch lantern is really essential for your passions and your joy in life. You have lived, how many years, without it – could you perhaps do without a little longer?

Once you’ve plugged those money leaks, you’ll be surprised how much more cash you have left every month. It’s time now to invest this – into savings, into “play” money (a certain amount you’re allowed to blow each month), and of course into your passion! Have fun with this, and always think in terms of what else you can afford now, rather than what you’re denying yourself.

Language, Please!

language

In 2001, when I first learned about the law of attraction and the power of focusing on the positive, I was less than thrilled at the prospect of having to control my thoughts. If you consider that a human being has an estimated 50,000 thoughts every single day, you’ll realise that policing every one of them would be a 24/7 job.
 

Fortunately, there are shortcuts to mastering the thought process, and the single most effective of these is language. There’s a reason why psychologists tell you to eliminate negative self-talk if you want to improve your self-confidence – language simply is that powerful.
 

In fairy tales and folk myths, you’ll often have a sorcerer or a witch who alters the course of the hero or heroine’s life with a single word or curse. Another word or spell can set things to rights again just as easily. Rumpelstiltsken is undone by someone knowing his name, only one single word!
 

As with all folk tales, there’s a kernel of truth buried in the fiction. If people truly understood the power of language, everyone would dedicate a fair amount of energy to learning about it. In order to give you a head start, I’m going to show you how to use the power of language and the law of attraction when it comes to the two most frequent obstacles to increasing your happiness and pursuing your passions: time and money.
 
 

 
 

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Words of power: Time Management

 

We may not realise it, but we all have our own stories and beliefs around time. In our day and age, most people’s “time stories” revolve around never having enough time, or running out of time. Our lives are so crammed full of responsibilities, distractions, and opportunities, it seems like 24 hours per day can never be enough.
 

In his book The Big Leap (I know I keep recommending this, but it really is that good!), Gay Hendricks introduces a concept he calls “Einstein Time”. Basically, it’s about the realisation that time is a man-made construct. Time exists because we say it exists, and it’s anything but logical and predictable. We all know that “time flies when you’re having fun” and also that half an hour can seem like an eternity for a bored student or employee.
 

You can make language work for you in time management. Here are three steps to take:
 

  • Observe language around time for a day or two. You’ll be surprised at how often you or somebody else say they’re “busy” or “must dash”, or similar.
  • Think of ways to express these situations without mentioning or implying busy-ness. Try: “I’m off to xyz” or: “I’ve got a few interesting projects going on”.
  • Now that you’ve defused the “busy language”, you can re-assert your control over time. Think of statements you consciously want to use in future, such as: “I am taking the time to…”, “Today, I’ve decided to spend time on …”

 

Words of power: Money Management

 

When it comes to money, most people think of either frugality or a positive mindset. The latter in particular can be a challenge, especially if you’re paying off a mortgage or a loan, and/or never quite make enough money to live your dreams. Simply thinking “I’m rich” will feel like a lie, and any intelligent, honest person will resist doing this.
 

Instead, may I suggest simply adjusting the way you talk about money? Here are your three steps for this one:
 

  • Become aware of how often you or others talk about money in scarcity language, using expressions like “I’m broke,” or “I can’t afford it”.
  • Find alternative expressions for these, such as: “It’s not in my budget,” or “I choose to spend my money elsewhere this month/year”.
  • Now, insert positive statements about money into your language: “I’m so glad that’s done!” after you’ve paid a bill (instead of resenting it), or: “It feels good to be secure,” after your salary or any kind of payment comes in.

 

Playful language

 

The key to all this is to view it as a game, rather than a chore. Play around with language. Challenge yourself to use one of your new, empowering phrases around time or money twice or three times every day for the coming week, and reward yourself at the end of each day you’ve managed to do it.
 

These processes may take a while, but after a few weeks, your new language will come to you easily. And then you’ll be ready to reap the rewards! Brace yourself, because the law of attraction may just blow your mind.