Of Course You’re Not Stuck!

stuck, pursue your passion and live your dreams

When I was stuck in withdrawal mode, neglecting most of my friends and living between my soul-eating job and my own four walls, I was honestly convinced that nothing was wrong with me. If you had offered me help to “get back to life”, I would have laughed and said I was right in the middle of life.
 

The only thing I disliked was the job. But when I was finally in a position to give that up and move across the country to where I feel at home, that’s when I began to slowly realise how deep a sleep I’d been in. It was a slow, painstaking process, and to this day I still have days and weeks when I’m a little quieter and need to remind myself, but all in all my life is truly unrecognisable.
 

I realised with crystal clarity that nothing in life is more important than to do what lights us up. The only challenge is to explain this to the people who need to hear it most, because they are usually oblivious to their “dormant” state, just like I was.
 

This article is dedicated to those who are currently stuck, or struggling. Life tends to evolve in cycles, and almost everyone experiences these periods of stagnation from time to time. Therefore, please don’t stop reading if you’re in a period of high self-actualisation at the moment. You might need to pick yourself up some time in the future.
 
 

Join the Tribe of Wild Spirits! You’ll get free weekly Coaching magic, exclusive offers and much more. As a welcome gift, you’ll also get the free Checklist 3 Steps to Stop Procrastinating and Start Doing What Lights You Up TODAY. Simply fill in the form:
 






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How can you tell?

 

It can be really hard to know that we’re in a state of settling for less than we could be, or stagnating in our development. First of all, to a certain extent it’s absolutely natural to plateau in life. We can’t always move ahead and forward; there are quieter times in everybody’s life.
 

It’s when we begin to settle into these quieter times, and begin to accept the status quo as “as good as it gets”, that we have an issue. That’s because the very nature of life is change and growth. Just look into nature!
 

You might be stuck if you:
 

  • have lost sight of something you used to want to achieve.
  • have stopped doing something which used to light you up.
  • let your health slide, be it in terms of physical fitness, eating habits, sleep, or anything else.
  • don’t prioritise Self Care.

 

Two distinct stages

 

What makes the matter more complicated, is the fact that there are several stages. Roughly speaking, there are at least two:
 

  1. Pursue your passion: You practice an art or craft or hobby/interest which lights you up. Note that this isn’t just about “things you like”. It’s great to do anything you like, but a passion is something you absolutely love doing. It makes your eyes sparkle, you could talk about it all day, and it makes you forget time.
  2.  

  3. Live your dreams: Once your passions are firmly incorporated into your life, you can go about matching the rest of life to it. This is about doing work which makes your soul sing, which doesn’t feel like work. It’s living every day in full alignment with your soul’s purpose. For many people, it takes a lifetime to realise this bit by bit. I’m certainly still in the process myself!

 

Taking measures

 

Even if you are not currently stuck, it’s almost always possible to amp up a passion. To determine your next step, take a piece of paper or open a text document on your computer, and write two lists.
 

On the first, write down what you love doing more than anything else – your passion(s), the thing or things which light you up. This is something you love doing, for you!
 

On the second list, write down the most important people in your life. Typically, this will be family and/or friends.
 

Then try and determine honestly how much time you spend doing these activities, and how much time you spend with these most important people. There aren’t any hard and fast rules as to how much time you should spend, but it should be a considerable amount. This is what your life is about, and it deserves some space!
 

If some or all of it is currently absent from your life, start with 5 minutes a day. Then expand it to 10, 15, 20… Get some support if you need it (I’m only an email away, and there are other Coaches out there as well!). This is worth every minute and every penny you spend on it, because once you get truly un-stuck, you’ll wonder how you didn’t see it before. It’s time to soar!

Are You A Good Enough Artist? (or Writer/Crafter/Dancer/…)

Permission to Pursue Your Passion

When I about five years old, I started writing awkward little stories on my parents’ ancient mechanical typewriter. At twelve, I wrote what could pass as a “novel”. Of course it was awful, altogether terrible writing. My family was rather blunt, as families are. Nobody told me: “You need to pursue your passion!” I internalised the criticism to such an extent that I stopped writing.
 

Later on, I went to study literature, and now I had the judgment to see that anything fictional I produced simply wasn’t up to scratch. I only ever wrote small poems or snippets, few and far between.
 

It took a great emotional blow for this to change. In 2010, when my mum lay dying after a bad stroke, I started writing a fan-fiction set in a computer game I played at the time. It still wasn’t good writing, but I no longer cared – I poured all my emotions into the story and my characters. That’s what kept me sane.
 

Today, I write whenever I feel like it. I even wrote a novel-length story. It’s a good story, but still not very well-written. Who cares? I’ve learned that I don’t need to be published or get recognised as an author. I don’t need anybody else’s validation or permission; I can just write for myself, because it gives me joy.

[bctt tweet=”I don’t need anybody else’s validation or permission; I can just write for myself, because it gives me joy.”]

This is something I only learned in my 40s. I’ve wasted so much time! And many of my Coaching clients are hung up on the same misconception: That you have to be basically a prodigy in order to practice an art or a craft. I’m here to tell you that nothing could be further from the truth.
 
 

Join the Tribe of Wild Spirits! You’ll get free weekly Coaching magic, exclusive offers and much more. As a welcome gift, you’ll also get the free Checklist 3 Steps to Stop Procrastinating and Start Doing What Lights You Up TODAY. Simply fill in the form:
 






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The perfection trap

 

We all love stories like Mozart’s: The child prodigy who went on to become a celebrated composer, revolutionising the music of his time and earning undying fame. We look up to the genius of the great poets and the sheer raw skill and expression of actors and dancers.
 

It’s definitely a good thing to recognise and appreciate quality. The problem begins when we begin to judge everyone, including ourselves, by the standards of the masters. Or maybe even that isn’t a problem – there’s nothing wrong with me knowing the flaws of my own writing, after all. The trouble is that I allowed it to keep me from writing for decades.
 

Can we all agree, then, that having judgment and being able to tell a masterpiece from an amateur’s work shows taste and education – but drawing the conclusion that only the masters should practise their art, is wrong?
 
 

Pursue your passion without being a genius

 

There are very practical reasons for you to step up and pursue your passion.
 

1. “Every master was once a disaster”
Very few people can play the piano the way Mozart did at the age of four. Most of the greats in any art or craft, had very modest beginnings – clumsy paintings, bad writing, trivial compositions, and more failed crafting projects than you can shake a stick at. The truth is, you’ll never know if you really “got it” unless you commit to practising for years and decades.
 

2. Improving yourself
Even if you don’t reach the lofty heights of mastery, if you keep practising you will get better. This is the aim of every serious artist or crafter. You may not have your paintings exhibited in a posh gallery, but is that really what attracted you to your art/craft in the first place? If you love what you do, you’ll have the urge to be the very best you can be at it. Learning and improving your own level of skill will give you a buzz.
 

3. The fulfilment lies in creating
Sometimes it seems like we’re waiting for the world to give us permission to do something. More often than not, we tie this imaginary permission slip to our skill level. Since even the masters often doubt themselves, it’s the perfect recipe for never creating anything. But isn’t creating the most fulfilling part?
 
 

Your Happiness Counts

 

What you need to understand is that your personal happiness counts. In fact, it’s what life is all about! Look past the judgment and ask yourself why you want to create. How does it make you feel?
 

Stop waiting. Stop denying yourself. I’m here to tell you: You have permission to do what lights you up. People who are on fire set the world on fire. Go shine your light!

[bctt tweet=”Stop waiting. Stop denying yourself. I’m here to tell you: You have permission to do what lights you up.”]

You’re Not As Lazy As You Think

Lazy, Laziness, pursue your passion

What would you guess, is the one thing all my different clients have in common, when asked why they don’t pursue their passion? People from diverse backgrounds, education, interests, passions… What is the one thing they all say about themselves?
 

They all call themselves lazy.
 

I would be hard-pressed to come up with another thing practically everyone has in common. And that’s astounding, especially considering how untrue the statement is. People are in fact far from lazy. They get an astonishing number of things done, only they fail to count those and dismiss them as “normal”. Some run an amazing household. Others kill it at work. They may spend lots of quality time with their children or pets – or indeed, any combination of the above.
 

All these amazing people share a nagging feeling that they should be doing more, that they should be on top of things and have it all figured out. There are many reasons for this phenomenon, one of them being how easy it is to compare ourselves to others these days, especially on Social Media where everyone emphasises the positive aspects of their lives. The impression one gets from scrolling through friends’ status updates is that they are all at the top of their game, and we are somehow… lagging behind.
 
 

Join the Tribe of Wild Spirits! You’ll get free weekly Coaching magic, exclusive offers and much more. As a welcome gift, you’ll also get the free Checklist 3 Steps to Stop Procrastinating and Start Doing What Lights You Up TODAY. Simply fill in the form:
 






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Why we think we’re lazy

 

When we think about why we aren’t doing everything we want to – when I, for example, ask someone what keeps them from pursuing their passion – we quickly jump to the conclusion that we’re simply lazy. After all, not every minute of every day is taken up by different tasks. We often even sit in front of the TV or the computer doing nothing but wasting time! If we weren’t so lazy, we’d be out exercising, or crafting, or pursuing some other passion, right?
 

Wrong.

[bctt tweet=”If we weren’t so lazy, we’d be out exercising, or crafting, or pursuing some other passion, right? -Wrong.”]

You see, the assumption that every moment of our waking time should be filled with some productive activity, is simply wrong. It’s also completely against anything we’re equipped to do from an evolutionary standpoint.
 

I’ve read several accounts of anthropologists (anthropology is one of the subjects I studied at university. Did I mention I’m a multi-passionate?) who went to live in tribal cultures that haven’t been touched by technology. They all observed that there’s no “laziness”, no reluctance to work or do things, in these cultures. Very rarely, there might be someone who doesn’t want to work, and they’ll be regarded as sick and left alone, until they “feel better” and come to join the others in their chores again.
 

Isn’t that interesting?
 
 

Information overload

 

A lot has been said and written about the fact that our modern lives aren’t particularly suited to our human nature. We get overstimulated by media, advertising, traffic, noise, artificial light, and a myriad of other things. We have access to practically all information available to humanity, at our fingertips, and more opportunities to work, practice, create, and do whatever we please than we ever had before.
 

A lot of these things are marvellous, but they also carry the danger of constant overwhelm. To go back to the example of tribal societies: One thing they seem to have in common is that the pace of life is slow. There is a lot of work to be done, but people aren’t in a rush all the time. The phenomenon of stress is unique to our “civilised” culture.

[bctt tweet=”So maybe, just maybe, we aren’t lazy at all when we scroll through Facebook instead of writing a novel?”]

So maybe, just maybe, we aren’t lazy at all when we scroll through Facebook instead of painting a picture or writing a novel? Maybe sitting on the couch munching a takeaway, rather than going for a run, doesn’t make you a bad person, but is simply a symptom of a life full to the brim with impressions and stimulation already? What’s more, we all have different tolerance thresholds and different needs for rest, which makes it even more pointless to compare ourselves to others unfavourably.
 
 

Overcoming inertia

 

Isn’t it perhaps time to let yourself off the hook for your “laziness”? Beating yourself up isn’t going to solve anything. At the same time, you shouldn’t just accept that you’ll never get to pursue your passion or live your dreams. When you think you’re lazy, it’s a sure sign that your life is too full. It’s time to de-clutter, simplify, downsize.
 

One thing Coaching does for people is to make them feel better about themselves because they go into action mode. Humans aren’t supposed to do it all by themselves. In tribal societies, people always work with at least one other person.
 

Get the support you need, sign up for Coaching, join a Mastermind group… You’ll be surprised how motivated you suddenly are to make the changes you wish for.

Why Circling Is Your Secret Weapon

Circling, Mastermind

Have you ever tried to keep up some kind of positive routine? Ever tried to eat healthy when everyone around you celebrated junk food and alcohol? Or to pursue your passion and consciously seek joy when TV and stress are the norm? I don’t know about you, but I fail fairly regularly.
 

Being aware and conscious and making good choices can feel like a constant uphill struggle. It’s like “normality” pulls us back down more effectively than gravity connects us to the surface of our planet. I choose quotes around “normality” because it is, of course, BS. What we think of as a normal life has been established within the last 100-200 years, tops. It’s not even particularly suited to humans, this way of life we’ve chosen, and yet it’s anchored in our heads as the way the world works and the only possible life.
 

If you’re committed to positive change, you automatically set yourself up for what can feel like hard work. You are constantly swimming against the tide of the rest of society. Add to that our human tendency to take the path of least resistance with ourselves, and suddenly the sofa and a TV series look a lot more appealing than that book you’re trying to write or your dancing shoes.
 

There’s a very good reason though why this is so, and ways to make it easier for you to stick with what brings you joy. Let me show you!
 
 

Join the Tribe of Wild Spirits! You’ll get free weekly Coaching magic, exclusive offers and much more. As a welcome gift, you’ll also get the free Checklist 3 Steps to Stop Procrastinating and Start Doing What Lights You Up TODAY. Simply fill in the form:
 






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Circling for empowerment

 

Humans are herd animals. On our own, we’re actually fairly weak and not very suited to survival. The way homo sapiens survived from the beginning of our existence, was by banding together in groups, and this behaviour is deeply ingrained in our subconscious.
 

Of course, in today’s society the individual is celebrated, because we’ve created a much safer way of life and are no longer in danger of being eaten by wild animals. However, we still have that urge to stick together. It’s been with us for tens of thousands of years; a habit that has been so long established and used to be this crucial to survival, is not so easily broken.
 

It’s this which can pull us down when we try to soar in joy and fulfillment, but the same mechanic can also work in our favour. Basically, in order to succeed at anything, we need the support of other humans. It’s not a weakness or a lack of individuality, it’s simply the way we are hard-wired to operate. Coaching is of course one way of getting support. Another is circling.
 

When I say “circling”, I mean a wide variety of activities. Basically, I would count as a circle any type of group coming together regularly with a similar goal. I’ll give you a few examples of groups, but in reality, the possibilities are endless! Find something which works for you, and transforming your life will be a breeze.
 
 

Mastermind

 

I’ll start with the most powerful one. A mastermind is a group of people who support each other to reach certain goals. Often, it’s business people who meet either in person, or online (or by phone conference) to share goals, brainstorm possible solutions to a challenge one of them might be facing, and support each other. Masterminds are so powerful, people spend hundreds per month to be part of one.
 

The concept is applicable to everything, though – people who pursue their passions, for example! Why not brainstorm ways of creating space for passions every day, and support to stick with doing what you love? The possibilities are endless.
 
 

Hobby groups, drumming circles, etc.

 

Two of my best friends joined a drum circle and couldn’t shut up about it. There’s something incredibly empowering about sitting with others and drumming out a free rhythm which will eventually merge into a group rhythm, a voice beyond the individual’s. It’s synergy in motion.
 

There are all sorts of hobby and interest groups if your passion is something shareable. There are crafting groups, knitting circles, dance groups, you name it. The great thing about those is that the fees are mostly nominal – usually just the cost of the room you’re meeting in.
 
 

Women’s circles

 

Women are still brought up to be competitive with each other. Society can be rather toxic for us! Really, there’s nothing more powerful than a bunch of women who unconditionally support each other.
 

Ever since the 70s, women’s circles have been changing communities and more importantly, women’s own hearts and lives. More recently, the “Red Tent” movement (google it) has brought forth safe spaces for women to express themselves and evolve in. Get up, get going, and get involved! You’ll wonder how you ever did without.

Passion Or Success?

Pursue Your Passion, break through to success

“Passion” is a buzz-word right now. Wherever you look, there’s another guru telling you how you need to pursue your passion above everything else. The pursuit of passion is so relentless, it can make you feel exhausted just thinking about it.
 

And here I am calling myself a “Passions Priority Coach”. Why’s that?
 

Well, whenever there’s a lot of hype around something, there’s usually a reason why it became so popular in the first place. Passions are a case in point. I’m far from telling you that you need to feel passionate 24/7 or else you fail at life, but I am telling you to take a good look at the amount of joy and passion present in your days. They might just be the key to a lot more things than you ever suspected.
 

Join the Tribe of Wild Spirits! You’ll get free weekly Coaching magic, exclusive offers and much more. As a welcome gift, you’ll also get the free Checklist 3 Steps to Stop Procrastinating and Start Doing What Lights You Up TODAY. Simply fill in the form:
 






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What’s a “passion”, anyway?

 

The way I define “passion” is simple: It’s anything that lights you up. Your passion is that thing you could do all day, that makes you forget time. You feel inspired, pumped, wired, or simply very, very content.
 

Your passion could be an art or craft. It could be music, dancing, reading, writing. For some, their passion is a hobby or a particular interest they love pursuing. And remember that you don’t necessarily just have one passion. A lot of us are multi-passionate, or multi-potentialists, meaning that we have different interests which light us up, and they may change over the years.
 
 

Passion or success/money!

 
When I speak about passions, it’s easy to get agreement from people. Everybody wants to follow their passions, don’t they? It’s self explanatory.
 

The reason why I’m doing the work I do, is that most people see passions as something of an afterthought. They have their work or business, which is ideally related to a passion, but it’s a serious undertaking and it has to come first. Passions are relegated to the 30 minutes on a Sunday evening when the “real” work is done.
 

And that, right there, is the issue. People focus on “making a living” – or a fortune, even – and neglect what living is actually all about: enjoyment. Passion. Love. The moments that stay with you.
 
 

Centre or periphery?

 

You may well argue that you still need to pay the bills, and a business can make you feel fulfilled, too. You are absolutely right, of course. I’m not for one moment suggesting that you give up on the practicalities of life in favour of your passion or passions. My point is about focus.
 

You see, something happens to our souls when we realise that joy, passion, the expansive feeling of doing exactly what we love most, are really what life is all about. If we start putting our main focus on our passions, a shift happens. It’s like our DNA changes, like every cell in our bodies rearranges itself in a new, lighter, joyful pattern.
 

This doesn’t crowd out necessities like paying bills; on the contrary, once we have our priorities right, time seems to expand and “busy” becomes a thing of the past. I see it time and time again with my Coaching clients. They gush about co-incidences, serendipitous meetings, and new levels of success in jobs or businesses.
 
 

The highest form of Self Care

 

The truth is that catering to our passions, making them front and centre in our lives, is the ultimate act of Self Care. It leads to our filling up with joy and love, to the point where we overflow and this love seeps into everything else we do, until it permeates every area of our lives.
 

Yes, this does include careers and businesses, especially if we love what we do. It can, however, infuse even the most menial work with a new sense of meaning and purpose. Ever since I made the shift to passions-centered living, every day has become meaningful. I no longer live for the weekend. And every time I stop to think about my life, I’m immediately flooded with a deep, heartfelt gratitude, a feeling so profound it occasionally moves me to tears.
 

There’s only one feeling that beats this profound joy, and that’s witnessing the same joy grow in others. It’s why I am a Passions Coach! I can think of no greater privilege than to be around a fully realised human being, and having a hand in bringing this about is the best job I can think of.
 

Remember what used to make you happy. Think of the thing you always wanted to try. When will now be the right time to pursue them? Dare it, and watch your life unfold.