First Perfection, Then Total Inertia – Is This Your Pattern?


 

Abstract:
 

Whether it’s healthy eating, exercise, or even prioritising a passion, many of us have an unhealthy cycle going on: We have perfect days, weeks, even months where we’re “good”, followed by complete inertia. That’s when we fall off the wagon, binge Netflix and undo all the good work we’ve achieved before.
 

In today’s mission you’ll learn why you keep falling into this pattern and how to prevent it from happening again.
 
 

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Task 1: Why perfection isn’t perfect

 

“I was so happy! I had loads of energy and couldn’t wait for my run every morning,” said my client. She couldn’t comprehend why she would sabotage herself by stopping.
 

The reasons for this are manifold, but none of them have anything to do with your willpower or intelligence. So Task 1 a) is to let yourself off the hook!
 

In fact, there are psychological reasons for your behaviour. We all have deeply rooted beliefs that stem from our childhood. Perhaps we’ve internalised a parent’s or teacher’s voice, and this make us very conflicted:

  • We want to be “good”
  • At the same time, we want to rebel

If this seems silly, consider that capable, intelligent people have been known to start drinking or abusing drugs again long after becoming clean. It’s a very real obstacle.
 

perfection then inertia

Photo by Brooke Lark on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Break the pattern of perfection, then inertia

 

It’s time to turn it around. This means letting go of both states: The overly perfection and the total inertia. So what to do instead?
 

There are several components to this. I’m listing a few for you to get started:

  • Let go of the seductive simplicity of “everything changes, now!” Too much at a time invites failure. Implement one tiny step at a time.
  • Simplify the rest of your life. Reduce your online time, cancel social obligations.
  • Take plenty of time for yourself, to do whatever you please (even binge Netflix)
  • Practice Self Care regularly.
  • Schedule time for what lights you up.

The “Working Hard” Myth


 

Abstract:
 

People disagree on almost everything, but one thing 90% agree on is that hard work is a good thing. Indeed, when I tell someone that I work with people on prioritising their passion, the reaction I get most frequently is: “But you’ve got to work hard, too.”
 

Where does this come from? Why does hardly anyone question it?
 

Your mission today is to find what you really want in your life, and what the best way is to get it.
 
 

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Task 1: Why we worship working hard

 

People have always worked, that’s true. But I wonder whether historically, work was really that backbreaking. There were certainly exceptions, but mostly people had one focus, a one-track mind.
 

We used to have to work to feed ourselves. Then we became employees and work became abstract. To keep us motivated, the philosophy became that working hard is the only right way of living. We were also told that it’s the way to make money, which most rich people will tell you is nonsense.
 

The concept of focusing on passion, joy, and pleasure runs so contrary to this, it’s no wonder people have trouble even believing that it’s possible!
 

working hard

Photo by lumix2004 at pixabay.com


 

Task 2: What do you really want?

 

This echoes back to last week’s episode – catch it here if you missed it. Why is it so important to find out what you truly want?
 

Because in order to break away from working hard as the answer to all questions, we’re going to have to cut back. Not on carbs, but on demands on ourselves and our time.
 

Once you know what’s truly important to you, you can pick which things you need to prioritise. Make sure it’s something that lights you up! Of course, a bit of balance is great, but trying to do it all is the root of all evil in our day and age.

Power Up Your Passions

power up your passions
 

My friend Sarah and I were sitting in our favourite cafe discussing ideas and dreams as we always do. One recurring theme was our little town, and how much we’d like to create community there. “There are so many talented artists and crafters around here… and none of them know each other!” I exclaimed.
 

A month later, we held our first Community Market in the large beer garden behind the local pub Sarah’s family owns. Yesterday, we had the 4th of the monthly markets, and we’re getting more and more stalls each time. Artists and crafters are coming together and getting to know each other. The atmosphere on these markets is quite unique; fun and inspiring at the same time, for both stall owners and visitors.
 

There’s a certain magic which happens when creative people share a physical space. They power up your passions. The truth is, making art or crafts can be a little lonely at times, and so can writing or practising music. To touch minds with other creatives feels like the breath of life, and it’s something I believe could benefit practically everyone. This includes you, even if you say you’re “just a beginner” or “not good enough” at your art or craft!
 
 

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The Red Tent movement

 

You may have heard about the “Red Tent” movement, inspired by the novel. Basically, women of all ages get together in a safe space to share stories and experiences. They laugh, cry, dance, support each other, and form a bond which spans generations.
 

Of course arts aren’t excluded from these spaces, but they aren’t their main focus. I’ve always thought that we need a similar movement for passions, and the Community Market I mentioned above is part of this dream made reality. It’s so incredibly important to share and reach out to others.
 

There’s a powerful synergy effect when people share things they have in common. It doesn’t even have to be the same passion, or even an art at all (our market includes everything from bows and arrows to homemade food, with paintings, knitting, homemade soap, and jewellery in between). Passionate people are contageous. Put in the same space, they “infect”, inspire, motivate, and support each other. It’s a natural process.
 
 

How to power up your passions

 

When I talk to friends or clients, it’s always variations of the same theme: We don’t have enough time for our passion or we don’t have the money. Oftentimes it’s just a matter of finding “headspace”, enough energy to devote ourselves to what lights us up.
 

It can be a struggle, and it’s all too easy to just give in to society’s demands. We end up going with the flow of being functioning citizens who work, eat, sleep, and do the housework.
 

But that’s not how we’re supposed to be. To truly live our joy, our full passionate and creative potential, goes against our modern society’s fabric. In order to stick with it, we need all the support we can get. And where better to find it than from other passionates and creatives?
 
 

Ways to make it happen

 

Not everyone’s family owns a pub with a beer garden. There is, however, a strange dynamic which happens when ideas like this are born: Things tend to fall into place. When you start to reach out to even one fellow passionate in your life, the universe begins to move in your favour.
 

Make a point of seeking out others like yourself and talk to them. Plant in their minds the idea of community, of sharing and mutual support. Have a pie-in-the-sky session where nothing is too crazy and every idea can be voiced, even if it sounds completely over the top.
 

Eventually, someone’s going to come up with an idea. There could be a community space that’s available for free some nights a week. It might even be a private person’s large garden or living room at first! Whether you’re starting a knitting group or a book club, a market or a discussion space, things will fall into place. They always do, as long as you make your intention heard and share it with others.
 

If all else fails, you can always resort to the internet. It’s not quite as powerful as sharing physical space, but it’s still inspiring to exchange ideas and mutual support with fellow passionates online. Seek out forums, Facebook groups, or other platforms. A Google search can open up a treasure chest of new friends to be made.
 

Stack the odds in your favour and power up your passions. It’s worth working for, and the rewards far exceed the investment in terms of time and energy.