• At A Loss? Ask The Right Questions



    A lot of what makes someone a good Coach is asking the right questions. We often think we want something or have a problem, but really the underlying problem or the thing we truly want is something else entirely.

    Questions can reveal what’s hidden. Obviously, it’s easiest if a trained Coach does this, but if you don’t have one in your pocket right now, you might find the following useful.

    Your mission is to learn how to find the questions you need to ask in order to move forward.

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    Task 1: Get to the root of it


    Especially when we’re at a loss or overwhelmed, or simply lacking enthusiasm, we usually can’t see the wood for the trees. It would be counterproductive to ask ourselves to come up with a lofty future perspective on top of everything else.

    Instead, start with the here and now and ask yourself questions such as:

    • What am I feeling right now?
    • Or even: How does my body feel right now?

    Follow this up in whatever way is appropriate, for example if the answer is: “Tense”, ask: “Where is the tension?” -“What would lessen it?”

    At a loss
    Photo by Heleno Kaizer on unsplash.com


    Task 2: The right questions for the present


    The questions in Task 1 were designed to fully bring you into the present moment. Now that you’re here, so to speak, you can dig deeper. Obviously, there are a myriad of possibilities when you’re at a loss, but here are a few options to inspire you:

    • How do I feel about this present emotion?
    • What would I like to feel?
    • What do I need to do to bring about this feeling?
    • If I could have one wish right now, what would it be?
    • How much will all this matter a year from now?
    • What could I focus on that’ll make a difference to my life?
    • Who can I talk to about this?

    Listen to your answers and take it from there.