But I Can’t Afford The Life Of My Dreams!


 

Abstract:
 

90% of the people I talk to, react in a similar way: When I ask them what their dreams are, they will name something that isn’t all that far beyond their current life. If I press them to go completely overboard, they’ll respond with: “But I could never afford to live like that.”
 

What they don’t understand is that the point of goals is not to know how you’ll achieve them. In fact, Bob Proctor said: “If you know what to do to reach your goal, it’s not a big enough goal.”
 

Your mission is to do what Neo needed to do in the Matrix: “Free your mind”.
 
 

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Task 1: Reason is overrated

 

There is a place for reason. A goal isn’t worthless just because you know how to reach it, and yet, I agree that at least some of your goals or dreams should be far outside of what you think possible.
 

Examine what keeps you from dreaming big. Do you feel a little silly? But imagination is limitless, and so is creativity. Do you think it’s impossible? Fact is, lots of people have achieved things far beyond what they thought they could. The evidence is plenty.
 

Thinking creatively, going beyond, even into the realm of silliness, is a skill you can learn. Set yourself a reminder once a week for “dream time”.
 

my dreams

Photo by silviarita on pixabay.com


 

Task 2: Program your mind for your dreams

 

This is an ongoing task and will take some time. Basically, you need to brainwash yourself. Here are a few steps for you to take:
 

  1. Read something positive every day. Include books on finances (try Amanda Steinberg or Jen Sincero). Make time for it.
  2. Follow blogs, podcasts, YouTube channels by personal development experts. You could start with my newsletter and videos!
  3. Surround yourself by positive people. Know anyone who’s into this stuff? Seek them out and spend more time with them.

Does Money Kill Your Joy?


 

Abstract:
 

In my yearly survey, Wild Spirits regularly tell me that money is their biggest obstacle to success. Yet my money-related features are always the least viewed of all. One member of the Wild Spirits community told me: “You’re all about joy and passion, Sibylle, and to me, finances are the opposite of these things.”
 

I relate. In fact, I used to think the exact same thing, before I found a better way. Your mission today is to make finances a passion, or at least, to bring joy to your money management.
 
 

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Task 1: How does money kill your joy?

 

No, I won’t let you get away with “money just sucks”. Money buys life-saving medical equipment, trips to exciting new places, and tickets to your favourite musician’s concert.
 

Money is brilliant.
 

D’you know when money sucks? When there isn’t enough of it. It’s time you get to the reason for it – not your low-paying job or the cost of childcare, the real reason.
 

  • How was money talked about when you were a child?
  • What do you think about rich people?
  • What difference would an extra 100,000 make to the passion(s) in your life?

 

Does Money Kill Your Joy?

Photo by Pine Watt on unsplash.com


 

Task 2: Rewrite and reframe

 

It’s time to rewrite your money story. Look at your beliefs and start poking holes into them.
 

Then, it’s time to associate finances with joy. There are many ways of doing this; here are a few suggestions:
 

  • Get online banking and check your savings regularly, watching them grow with the interest.
  • Make a celebration of your monthly budgeting session with tea, candles, a treat, some quality time with your partner, dreams of the future etc.
  • Get a beautiful new wallet in gorgeous colours to give your cash a pretty home.
  • Try the envelope system of budgeting (google it) and get pretty colourful envelopes for it.
  • Have a monthly “Play” budget to blow on something fun.

Working Too Much And Still Broke?


 

Abstract:
 

In my 20s, I was broke pretty much all the time. I lived in my overdraft.
 

As I grew older and the jobs I worked in got more demanding, I slipped into a cycle of overspending, being broke, working even harder, being exhausted, and overspending to compensate. Many are familiar with this downward spiral, but can’t find their way out.
 

Your mission: Recognise the pattern and turn it around.
 
 

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Task 1: Come clean

 

You may protest that you really don’t earn enough. This might be true. But if you’re like most people, you probably earn more now than you did when you’d just finished your training or degree. Your standard of life simply went up with your income.
 

Also recognise that overspending, being broke and then having to work even more is exactly what capitalism wants us to do. It’s built on ever-increasing spending. You’re not stupid or alone, you’re still broke because you’re meant to be.
 
 

Task 2: No more “broke” mentality

 

I hate the term frugality. It smacks of lack and self-denial. I want you to recognise that your living above your means is what actually leads to self-denial, in the shape of ever more work and pressure.
 

This work goes beyond a video. You need to continuously work on your money mindset and change it from scarcity to abundance.
 

Working Too Hard And Still Broke?

Photo by Nolan Issac on unsplash.com


 

Task 3: Joy in abundance

 

When I downsized my life, it improved in every way. I had time, rest, space to pursue my passions, and enough money for everything.
 

Here are three steps to get there:
 

  1. Stop buying stuff. It’s as simple as that. You don’t need new clothes, or a gadget you’ve never needed before. Borrow, swap, reuse!
  2. Determine two or three “luxuries” you can’t do without. Consciously decide you’ll keep them, and feel good about yourself.
  3. Determine what lights you up and allocate money to it. There’s nothing more important, and you’ll no longer need impulse-purchases when you’re lit up with joy.

Plug Your Money Leaks (and have fun with it)

Personal Finances, Money Leak

There was nothing fun about going broke and having a large, powerful bank breathing down my neck. And yet, it led to massive personal growth for me. I got my act together and learned about personal finances (and of course, paid back every last cent I owed), and I learned incredibly useful lessons along the way.
 

Easily the best and most useful of these lessons was the realisation how much stuff I don’t need in my life. My clothes didn’t fall apart even after three years. I didn’t need to order in pizza, I could bake the frozen version from the supermarket just fine. I realised with relief, that neither my happiness nor my self-worth depended on anything I needed money for.
 

It also taught me a lot about my spending style, and the reasons why I had always been terrible with money up until then. One major point is what I call “money leaks”, and it’s so big, I decided to dedicate an entire article to it. Heads up: If you identify and plug the places where you’re “leaking money”, you’ll end up with much more, without penny-pinching.

[bctt tweet=”If you identify and plug the places where you’re ‘leaking money’, you’ll end up with much more, without penny-pinching.”]

 
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Identifying your money leaks

 

We all have different spending habits. That’s why it’s important to track your spending for a while. Don’t worry, you won’t have to write down every croissant you buy forever! Just stick with it for a month and see what you can learn from it.
 

A lot of money advice seems to focus on frugality. My approach is a little different: I recommend you save money in order to finance more joy with it! Plugging the money leaks is much easier this way. By the way, if you haven’t done my free online training yet, you can sign up for it here – it’ll give you 3 days of lessons and assignments you can put into practice immediately.
 

A money leak is an expense that’s not strictly necessary and doesn’t contribute to your joy and passion (or passions) in the long term. In the following, I’m going to give you a list of common leaks, in order to give you an idea. Yours might be completely different, of course, but it’ll be easier for you to spot them once you know what to look for.
 
 

Subscriptions

 

These are recurring, often monthly, expenses which seem completely insignificant on their own. How much can those few bucks for Netflix really hurt? The problem is, that it’s a constant “leak”, and if you add up all your subscriptions, the amount you spend on them per year can be rather frightening.
 

The solution: Ask yourself if you can get the same thing for free. Could you pool your Netflix account with a friend, or watch the same shows on DVDs a friend owns and could lend you? Do you get a newspaper whose main articles are all available online for free? Is your TV really enhancing your life, or taking time from your reading and your passion? Are you paying for an anti-virus program when a free one would work, too?
 
 

Clubs and gym memberships

 

Do you still pay for that gym membership although you’ve stopped going six months ago? Or do you pay for a social club whose meetings you hardly ever attend? It might be time to weed those out.
 

The solution: The gym is not the only way to get into shape. Look for online workout videos and find a sports hobby you actually enjoy. Try running with a friend or playing volleyball with a group at a public volleyball court. You’re more likely to stick with it this way, and it won’t cost you a thing!
 
 

Special offers

 

Certain shops and websites run regular offers which are so cheap, it seems insane not to buy them. The problem is that this tricks you into buying things you would never have got otherwise, and a lot of the time you end up buying additional stuff, spending even more.
 

The solution: Before you hit the “Add to Cart” button, ask yourself if this pretty porch lantern is really essential for your passions and your joy in life. You have lived, how many years, without it – could you perhaps do without a little longer?

[bctt tweet=”If it’s something you wouldn’t buy if it wasn’t cheap, then even the cheap price is too much.”]

Once you’ve plugged those money leaks, you’ll be surprised how much more cash you have left every month. It’s time now to invest this – into savings, into “play” money (a certain amount you’re allowed to blow each month), and of course into your passion! Have fun with this, and always think in terms of what else you can afford now, rather than what you’re denying yourself.