What To Do When You Hate Your Life


 

Abstract:
 

Apologies for the sensationalist title. But many of us have been in situations where we didn’t like where things were going at all. It may have been an unhealthy relationship in its last stages, a bad job you feel trapped in, or a financial low you seemed unabled to dig yourself out of.
 

Your mission today is to identify the low point in your life and find a way out.
 
 

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Task 1: Audit your life

 

I have a very detailed free Life Audit on my website, so if you have ten minutes to spare, I recommend you take that. Here’s a shortened version:
 

Get a piece of paper and notes down how you would rate your life from 1-10 in the following categories.
 

  • Health
  • Finances
  • Job/Business
  • Relationships
  • Spirituality
  • Passions

 

Make the ratings spontaneous, rather than overthinking them. Then identify the lowest area(s) and make a note of them.
 
 

Task 2: Take measures

 

You may not be able to up and leave your job instantly, but in my experience, there’s no such thing as a hopeless situation. Tackle your lowest-rated area of life first and identify the measures you could take to lift that rating significantly.
 

This may seem insurmountable. The temptation to just cut and run can be overwhelming at this point, but please resist. Instead, get support in the form appropriate to your situation. Don’t try to do it all by yourself. Create an action plan and take the first step straightaway.
 

What To Do When You Hate Your Life

Photo by Saeed Mhmdi


 

Task 3: Look after yourself

 

Don’t forget your own wellbeing! Self care is paramount in a situation like this. A negative situation in even just one area of your life can eat up huge amounts of energy and drag down everything else. You need to be in good shape mentally and emotionally to dig yourself out.
 

You can change your life, and you’ll have more patience and stamina to stick it out if your cup is full.

Pursuing Your Passion – Or Just A Hobby?


 

Abstract:
 

Passion is an overused word these days. Everything that’s even remotely an interest, is called “passion”. There’s nothing wrong with hobbies or interests, but you need to differentiate between having a hobby and pursuing your passion.
 
 

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What’s the difference?

 

A hobby or interest is anything that captures your attention, anything you enjoy. An example would be my singing: I love it, but it’s not an essential part of my life (music in general is, but not specifically as singing).
 

Dancing is my passion; I can’t be fully myself without it. Passions fulfill a need in you and make you outrageously happy, almost ecstatic. Pursuing a passion makes time fly without you noticing. You feel like you could do this all day. Hobby and passion can feel similar – a hobby can get close to this feeling, especially at first, but it usually doesn’t last.
 

If it’s a passion, you keep rediscovering it and falling in love with it all over again. It captures your imagination for years.
 

hobby and passion

Photo by rawpixel on unsplash.com


 

Why is this important?

 

It’s important because not pursuing your passion means limiting yourself. You don’t fully live up to your potential, and doing that – keeping part of yourself unevolved, under wraps – is one of the most common regrets old people have when their lives are about to end.
 

I spent some time in a reduced version of my life, and the fact I wasn’t dancing almost daily was testament to that. One of the first things I started doing when I “returned to life” was putting on some tunes and dance.
 

Passions also lead to your purpose. It’s not always as straightforward as your passion being your purpose, but once you set your soul alight through radically prioritising your passion, you will stumble on your purpose in some way, shape, or form.

When There’s Just Too Much To Do


 

Abstract:
 

I had the idea for a story about two years before I actually wrote it down. It wasn’t writer’s block, it was simply a matter of having too much going on to be able to focus on writing.
 

There was just too much to do all the time.
 
 

Join the tribe of Wild Spirits! You’ll get free weekly Coaching magic, exclusive offers and much more. As a welcome gift, you’ll also get the free Checklist 3 Steps to Stop Procrastinating and Start Doing What Lights You Up TODAY. Simply fill in the form:
 






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You’ll receive a weekly newsletter every Monday. You can unsubscribe at any time. I’ll never share your data with anyone.


 

The six-months rule

 

There are, of course, times in life when things just get busy, but it happens to everyone and it’s perfectly normal because life is cyclical by nature. For example, if you just had a new baby, then you won’t have time for much else for some time.
 

However, there are some people who’ll always tell you that the stressful times are about to come to an end, and then two years later, they still have the same excuses. Don’t string yourself along like that! A good rule of thumb is that after six months’ time, things should have quietened down somewhat.
 
 

Prioritise, how?

 

To gain clarity, you need to find out what your priorities are. Sit down and ask yourself a few fundamental questions:
 

  • What’s the most important thing in my life?
  • Next: What’s urgent and unavoidable right now?
  • What’s my passion?

Write down the answers and then eliminate everything else from your life. This can be hard to do, especially when there are other things you enjoy doing, but you have to be ruthless here: Cancel, leave, say no.
 

too much

 

Get support

 

The most obvious and yet overlooked strategy for coping is to ask for help, so don’t be afraid to reach out for a friend or family member. You don’t have to do it all alone! If you can afford it, get paid help as well.
 

This is your life and you’re here to do what’s important to you. Be sure you make time to actually live.

Never Skip Self Care Again


 

Abstract:
 

I once heard a colleage say that Self Care includes things like maintaining a positive mindset, or exercising and eating healthy. I agree that these things are all acts of caring for the self and they’re great. However, I’d argue against sub-summarising absolutely everything under the “Self Care” label.
 

In my opinion, it’s far better to limit the expression to activities which are fun. Self Care shouldn’t be just another thing you check off your to-do list. It shouldn’t be another chore.
 
 

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Make it feel naughty

 

One great way of making Self Care fun again is to make it feel a little naughty. Remember the times as a child when you were stealing another cookie you weren’t supposed to be having? Or reading in bed after lights-out (I did a lot of that!)?
 

It may be a little silly but, so what? Silliness can add spice to what you’re doing. Flopping down on the couch with a book and a glass of vino while there’s housework to do, can make you feel like you’re skipping school. It also gives you a very real sense of putting your own needs first.
 

Self Care
 

Pretend to care for a friend

 

My Coach told me to approach my Self Care the way I’d care for a friend who’s going through a rough patch in life. She said to do the small, loving, kind things for myself that I’d happily do for a loved one.
 

It’s funny that we’re so much more likely to go all out caring for other people, and give ourselves so little. You’re someone you love, you’re someone who deserves being spoilt and looked after. So do it!
 

Remember: Self Care isn’t selfish, it’s about countering the energetic drain of the modern world.

The Secret To Loving Life


 

Abstract:
 

“Enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realise they were the big things.” -Kurt Vonnegut
 

A client of mine, who’s now 60, used to think that her happiest moments were the times when her son did well in school and later finished college with distinction. Actually, what she remembers most fondly is the breakfasts with him in the sun-flooded kitchen, just being together, spending time.
 
 

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The only reality is now

 

Setting goals and planning ahead is important. Acknowledging and learning from your past is important. But the only real life you have is in the here and now, in this moment. This is where the majority of your time and attention should be spent if you want to start loving life.
 

Why is this important? Because the present is the only time you can actually work on your goals and make a difference. It’s the only time you have to truly enjoy.
 
 

Process: Return to the moment

 

  • Twice a day, set an alarm on your phone and then do the following process: Deep breath, attention to your body. Find any discomfort, ease it. Deep breath, feel the comfort, feel gratitude. Loving life means finding small things to be grateful now in this moment. Deep breath.
  •  

  • Feel your heart beat, marvel at its unfailing efficiency to nourish you and keep you alive.
  •  

  • Do stop and smell the flowers. Appreciate nature, your loved ones, your life.

 

loving life
 

Appreciation of life

 

This isn’t a philosophical concept, it’s a smart way of creating happiness, appreciation, and a feeling of control over your life. It reminds you to literally stop and smell the flowers, to notice all the little things, and to stop taking them for granted.
 

It’s a great habit to make. Try it and notice what it does to your life over the next week or two.